not all who wander are lost.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Forty Nine Days.

My Dad died 49 days ago. There are moments that it feels like it's been an eternity,  there are days that it feels like only yesterday, and then there are days where it just doesn't seem real. Though I have been wanting and searching for him, he hasn't been around....not in my dreams... no "signs". A few times I have woken up in the middle of the night, and hoping that he was there I would say out loud "DAD? Dad? Is that you?". I have tried calling out to him in the car, and screaming his name out at the beach, but he hasn't come. In Buddhism they believe that the soul takes 49 days to find it's next life, for the spirit to be born again into it's next adventure. So maybe that's why I haven't felt him...because maybe he's still been in transition. I'm not a religious person, but I feel more connected to Buddhism than any other organized religion. So for 49 days now I have been praying that his soul finds a home, and some peace. I have been clinging to him, with two hands, tight grasp, and maybe that's whats keeping him from moving today I'm lighting a candle, taking in some silence, and saying goodbye...offering up my final prayer that he is wherever he needs to be. With Karma like his, this next life he's about to embark on is bound to be pretty fucking amazing. I only wish that I could join him wherever he is, but there's time for that I suppose - and he'll be waiting for me until I get there..and when I do, I'll have lots of stories to tell, "World Dominations" to brag about and some epic tall-tale-Fishing-stories.

Death is one of two things...
Either it is annihilation, and the dead have no consciousness of anything;
or, as we are told, it is really a change:
a migration of the soul from one place to another.

~ Socrates ~

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