Old House and One Day at a Time.

It's a process, and a different process for each individual. Lately, my Mom, and several of my parents friends, have been feeling a pull towards a house that my parents lived in from 1980-1985. It's right around the corner from our home...a house that I drive past several times a day. Joe King (my Dads best man and best friend) has had a dream that (a young version of my) Dad is standing on the back porch, laughing (as he always did), shouting "Come on in Joe! Don't be scared". When he told Mom about his dream, she said that she too has been feeling like she needed to visit the old house. So, on day 49, we headed over. I've heard many {crazy, inappropriate, insane} stories about all the good times had at 365 Main Street. My parents said that yes, it's a dump now - and yes, it was a dump way back when. But it's where they fell in love. We contacted the owner of the house who said unfortunately the house had been gutted, but that we were more than welcome to take a look around. When we walked inside Mom told me where everything was, and described in detail the layout of the house and told several funny stories about the good times had in this tiny home. She pointed out to the yard to where the dog kennel was, and their garden...to the tub where all of Kizzys puppies were born, and to the little room that my parents shared (and to the window where Moms underwear were hanging on the day that PopPop Callahan barged in!). Mom cried a bit, and I could tell that being at 365 Main Street was what she needed to wish Dad along to his next life. For me though, it wasn't what I needed...which actually added to my sadness. 

The front of 365 Main Street.

The house where they fell in love. 

Not much has changed...just moving the door a bit to the right and removing the window. This is the porch where Dads been standing and laughing on Joes dreams. 

The owner of the house told us that we were welcome to keep anything that we found inside the house. Tucked away in the corner was an old piece of bouy, from one of Dads traps, which is now over 31 years old....

When we got home, Mom pulled out some photos of the old house. From top left there is Dad in their room, sleeping on their mattress (which just laid on the floor) with Moms cat "Booger". The next is Christmas morning in their little house, this was the day that Dad proposed. In the middle is Mom Dad and Kizzy on the back porch. Bottom left is Dad with booger on Christmas morning and to the right is Mom with their dogs and Pheasants from one of her first hunting trips. 

 When we got home I napped for a bit, trying to shake it - and couldn't. So I went out to my Dads garage - into the "War Room"....surrounded by all of his bows and arrows that he made, and deer skulls that we'd painted when I was a little kid. I grabbed a "wish" candle and wrote on it a little prayer - and then lit it and sat in meditation. There was a lot going through my mind - memories, sadness, frustrations, anger....but it ended with me as a little girl, sitting next to him by a river, resting my head on his shoulder. One day at a time, one day at a time.

I once asked a bird,
"How is it that you fly in this gravity
Of darkness?"
She responded,
"Love lifts
Me."

~Hafiz

Forty Nine Days.

My Dad died 49 days ago. There are moments that it feels like it's been an eternity,  there are days that it feels like only yesterday, and then there are days where it just doesn't seem real. Though I have been wanting and searching for him, he hasn't been around....not in my dreams... no "signs". A few times I have woken up in the middle of the night, and hoping that he was there I would say out loud "DAD? Dad? Is that you?". I have tried calling out to him in the car, and screaming his name out at the beach, but he hasn't come. In Buddhism they believe that the soul takes 49 days to find it's next life, for the spirit to be born again into it's next adventure. So maybe that's why I haven't felt him...because maybe he's still been in transition. I'm not a religious person, but I feel more connected to Buddhism than any other organized religion. So for 49 days now I have been praying that his soul finds a home, and some peace. I have been clinging to him, with two hands, tight grasp, and maybe that's whats keeping him from moving on...so today I'm lighting a candle, taking in some silence, and saying goodbye...offering up my final prayer that he is wherever he needs to be. With Karma like his, this next life he's about to embark on is bound to be pretty fucking amazing. I only wish that I could join him wherever he is, but there's time for that I suppose - and he'll be waiting for me until I get there..and when I do, I'll have lots of stories to tell, "World Dominations" to brag about and some epic tall-tale-Fishing-stories.

Death is one of two things...

Either it is annihilation, and the dead have no consciousness of anything;

or, as we are told, it is really a change:

a migration of the soul from one place to another.

~ Socrates ~

Karuna Meditation

This is the Karuna Meditation...Karuna being the 3rd of the 4 Divine Abodes of Buddhism (and the Four Immeasurables from Patanjali's sutras). Karuna means compassion. The difference between Karuna and Metta is that Karuna is the desire to remove harm and suffering from others; while Metta is the desire to bring about the well-being and happiness of others.

In Indo-Tibetan Buddhism, one of the foremost authoritative texts on the Bodhisattva path is the Bodhicaryavatara by Shantideva. In the eighth section entitled Meditative Concentration, Shantideva describes meditation on Karunā as thus:

Strive at first to meditate upon the sameness of yourself and others. In joy and sorrow all are equal; Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself. The hand and other limbs are many and distinct, But all are one--the body to kept and guarded. Likewise, different beings, in their joys and sorrows, are, like me, all one in wanting happiness. This pain of mine does not afflict or cause discomfort to another's body, and yet this pain is hard for me to bear because I cling and take it for my own. And other beings' pain I do not feel, and yet, because I take them for myself, their suffering is mine and therefore hard to bear. And therefore I'll dispel the pain of others, for it is simply pain, just like my own. And others I will aid and benefit, for they are living beings, like my body. Since I and other beings both, in wanting happiness, are equal and alike, what difference is there to distinguish us, that I should strive to have my bliss alone?"

KARUNA MEDITATION (Compassion):

Begin by focusing on the heart center - the middle of the chest, just beneath the sternum. Feel the breath moving there, rising and falling. Soften the heart, let yourself be open and receptive, letting down any defenses. Very slowly move through these phrases in your mind, contemplating their meaning and letting their meaning penetrate beyond the idea to the actual feeling itself.

• May I be kind.
• May I be aware of my own suffering.
• May I be open to my own suffering.
• May I respond to my suffering with love and compassion.

1. First repeat this several times for YOURSELF.
2. Now focus it and send it to someone dear to you (May you be...)

• May I be kind to you.
• May I be aware of your suffering.
• May I be open to your suffering.
• May I respond to your suffering with love and compassion.

• May you be kind.
• May you be aware of your own suffering.
• May you be open to your own suffering.
• May you respond to your suffering with love and compassion.

1. Send this to someone neutral. A neighbor, acquaintance, coworker, etc. (May you be...)
2. Focus on someone negative or difficult. Someone that maybe you just don't like. Now send it to them (May you be...)
3. Finally, send it to All Beings Everywhere (May all beings everywhere be...)

Radiate Karuna outward to all beings nearby, and gradually out to the whole planet, and finally the entire universe. At the end, come back to an awareness of breath and the heart center again, returning to the reality of your own body and this present moment.

Metta Meditation

I'm realizing just now that I never posted the other 2 (of the 4) Divine Abodes that we have practiced in Yin: Metta and Karuna. So, here you go!

A meditation taught by the BUddha himself, and is designed to bring unconditional love to your Self, your loved ones and even learn to send unconditional love to beings throughout the universe. IT will help bring peace to situations taking place in your life - and allow you to look at the world in a more positive light. Bring your attention to your breath - exhaling negative thoughts and emotions, breathing in pure light, kindness, generosity and love - breathe out anger, breathe out any thoughts or feelings of fear or failure. Relax your body. Feel your energy settle into your heart and into the present.

METTA MEDITATION (Loving-Kindness):

Begin by focusing on the heart center - the middle of the chest, just beneath the sternum. Feel the breath moving there, rising and falling. Soften the heart, let yourself be open and receptive, letting down any defenses. Very slowly move through these phrases in your mind, contemplating their meaning and letting their meaning penetrate beyond the idea to the actual feeling itself.

• May I live in safety.
• May I be happy.
• May I be healthy
• May I live with ease.

1. First repeat this several times for YOURSELF.
2. Now focus it and send it to someone dear to you (May you...)
3. Send this to someone neutral. A neighbor, acquaintance, coworker, etc. (May you...)
4. Focus on someone negative or difficult. Someone that maybe you just don't like. Now send it to them (May you...)
5. Finally, send it to All Beings Everywhere (May all beings everywhere...)

Radiate Metta outward to all beings nearby, and gradually out to the whole planet, and finally the entire universe. At the end, come back to an awareness of breath and the heart center again, returning to the reality of your own body and this present moment.

Mudita Meditation

In yesterdays Yin class did a Mudita Meditation. Mudita is the 3rd of the Four Divine Abodes in Buddhism. There is Metta (loving-kidness), Karuna (compassion), Mudita (sympathetic joy) and Upekkha (equanimity). We are working our way through each meditation...and not just using them in class, but incorporating them into our lives so that we can become the best person that we are capable of being.

If you'd like to add this to your life, it is easy to incorporate (even into a busy lifestyle). You can repeat it when you first wake in the morning, or as you are winding down your day.

MUDITA MEDITATION:

Begin by focusing on the heart center - the middle of the chest, just beneath the sternum. Feel the breath moving there, rising and falling. Soften the heart, let yourself be open and receptive, letting down any defenses. Very slowly move through these phrases in your mind, contemplating their meaning and letting their meaning penetrate beyond the idea to the actual feeling itself.

• May I be appreciative and grateful.
• May I be aware of beauty and joy.
• May I be open to beauty and joy.
• May I respond to beauty and joy with appreciation and gratitude.

1. First repeat this several times for YOURSELF.
2. Now focus it and send it to someone dear to you (May you be...)
3. Send this to someone neutral. A neighbor, acquaintance, coworker, etc. (May you be...)
4. Focus on someone negative or difficult. Someone that maybe you just don't like. Now send it to them (May you be...)
5. Finally, send it to All Beings Everywhere (May all beings everywhere be...)

Radiate Mudita outward to all beings nearby, and gradually out to the whole planet, and finally the entire universe. At the end, come back to an awareness of breath and the heart center again, returning to the reality of your own body and this present moment.

Namaste my friends, and Happy Holidays!

Word Wednesday...on Thursday!

Due to double classes at the gym, a surf session, dinner, then practicing music with Christian - I didn't have a moment to write my Word Wednesday blog yesterday!!! I could have easily banged one out, but the blog wouldn't have gotten the time and love it deserved! So here we are on Thursday, and I bringing you Wednesday's Word of the Day: Namasté.

We say "namasté" at the end of every Yoga class. I knew that it was a word of respect, but I wasn't sure of it's exact definition. Namasté, in Sanskirt: नमस्ते, is a salutation used in India and Nepal, expressing deep respect. It is mainly used by Hindu's, Buddhists, and Jain's. Other, slightly more informal versions of namasté are namaskar and namaskaram. It directly translate's to "I bow to you", which makes sense because the word is derived from two words in Sanskrit, namas and te. (Sanskrit is the classical language of India, one of the sacred languages of Hinduism and Buddhism) "Namas" means to bow, a gesture to show respect, and "te" means to you. Understand that namasté is not just a word used for greeting, it's also the gesture. Often people will make a silent gesture, without saying the word. In Indian culture it is common that namasté is said upon entrance, and the silent gesture upon departure. Spoken or unspoken, it carries the same meaning....Submitting oneself to another, with complete humility.

To perform Namaste:
Place the hands together at the heart charka, close the eyes, and bow the head. Hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointed upwards, in front of the chest. To indicate a deeper respect, one can hold hands above the forehead, or in prayer, above the head.

How namasté came to be....

"In a well-known episode it so transpired that the great lover god Krishna made away with the clothes of unmarried maidens, fourteen to seventeen years of age, bathing in the river Yamuna. Their fervent entreaties to him proved of no avail. It was only after they performed before him the eternal gesture of namaste was he satisfied, and agreed to hand back their garments so that they could recover their modesty." {info from: exoticindiaart.com}

Namaste is deeply rich in symbolism. Firstly the proper performance of namaste requires that we blend the five fingers of the left hand exactly with the fingers of the right hand. The significance behind this simple act in fact governs the entire gamut of our active life. The five fingers of the left hand represent the five senses of karma, and those of the right hand the five organs of knowledge. Hence it signifies that our karma or action must be in harmony, and governed by rightful knowledge, prompting us to think and act correctly. By combining the five fingers of each hand, a total of ten is achieved. The number ten is a symbol of perfection, and the mystical number of completion and unity. It is true for all ancient traditions.

Namaste is used in all aspects of Indian life, though in the States it is mostly heard (AND seen, as it is a gesture as well) in Yoga. In Yoga, namaste is meant to mean "The light in me honors the light in you", "I respect that divinity within you that is also within me".

Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one's being, from bodily health to self-realization. Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul. Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one's actions. ~B.K.S. Iyengar, Astadala Yogamala

Namasté.