not all who wander are lost.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013


I am deathly afraid of the ocean.
Go ahead, laugh...
But it's true.
Always have been.

Well, Andy peer pressured me into doing this dive certification, and then got so sick (first head cold, then sea sick, then his ears....) so I had to do it solo. And I did it! I talked to my Dad a lot on the boat ride out to the reef, asking for some guidance and strength (the conversation actually went "dad, please help me...I don't want to be such a pussy!"). It was exciting to not only be underwater, but to be so comfortable and confident. I took my mask on and off underwater, was able to complete all of my diving skills and best of all, my air consumption was the lowest on the boat (which was a reflection of how calm I was). I was really missing andy, but I think that it was even more empowering because I had to do it solo. I loved my teacher Sarah, as well as everyone else on the boat. I felt like I was a part of their community. So grateful for this experience and so proud of myself for doing something that terrifies me. Yeeeew. Gonna crush the shit outta my fears in 2014....!

Sunday, December 29, 2013


My uncle Sean is a queen. And tonight he took me out for a night on the town in Key West, where I frolicked and danced with many other queens of all sorts, and a few in really spectacular drag. We started out at Bourbon Bar on Duval for the most amazing karaoke session. I laughed (and cried) a bit as I watched Sean sing (again and again) many of his movements are identical to those of my Dads. We talked briefly about how much we missed him, but then decided it wasn't the best time or place to be crying our eyes out, so we jumped right back into singing and dancing. I was the LAST person to go, but I rocked the house with "Killing Me Softly" by the late, great Roberta Flack. After we closed up shop there we headed to the Monkey Bar for yet more karaoke! It was here that I fell in love. Of course not with an available straight man, but Chris, a happily committed gay man. Alas, my karma! I spent most of the night sitting and talking with Chris and his boyfriend Ryan, and we even made plans to hang out again before I leave. I sang a little Bonnie Raitt karaoke for Chris and then headed home (far past my bed time!). I'm going to sleep now and have to be up in a few hours for my final day of dive training. My ears are a bit sore but no pain no gain!

Spiritual Gangster

Key Weird....I mean Key "West", loves me and they embrace every bit of my weird, authentic self. It's a little slice of weird heaven. The workshops have been great, especially this mornings HipHop class. It felt great to laugh and booty pop amongst new faces, and of course, the familiar (Croces and Lauren Ferrante). I'm loving life and enjoying each moment as fully as the moment before. Holla, bitches.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Recognizing the Divine

Tomorrow is my first of three workshops at Shakti Yoga here in Key West! I'm so excited to share this heartfelt flow and opening meditation!

Key West!

Our flight was a bit delayed due to snow, but there was nothing but sunshine upon our arrival to Miami! My travel partner is my good friend Andy Welker. He was up visiting his family for the holidays, and I was grateful because we got to fly down together- making the wait time in the airport and on the runway, and the journey from Miami down the coast much more enjoyable. Plus, Andy makes me laugh, a lot. Most times I'm not even sure what exactly I'm laughing about, he just gets me going and then I can't stop. Anywho, we picked up our rental car and started the journey down to itty-bitty Key West. The views are beautiful and about half way down we pulled into a place on the water for some seafood. Don't ya know it, out of the corner of my eye I spot "Late Night". Tom, aka "Late-Night" is a Sea Isle City local who has bartended in south jersey for years. Go figure that I walk into the bar that he's working at now!! Small world. We ate, watched the sunset, said goodbye to Late Night and then headed further south...

We pulled into our destination around 9pm. My friend Kelly and her family own half of key west (okay, maybe not half...but a fairly large chunk) and she has been super generous, putting us up in a condo that they own. So we settled into our sweet crib, unpacked and decided to burn some calories before heading out onto the town. Though Andy is an ammmmazing salesman, he is also easily sold. He busted out "T25" a DVD workout series that he purchased off an infomercial. And so, in our living room, we did a full-power "CARDIO" workout for 25minutes. Thanks to Andy, I laughed through half of it and nearly peed my pants.

It was a mellow albeit late evening stroll through town, sipping tea and taking it all in. We talked mostly about business, with Andy advising me on how to own a company, maintaining good credit, and so on. He holds a wealth of information and he gives it to me freely and patiently (I ask lots of questions). We went to bed late and woke up early.

Diving Day 1:
I somehow allowed myself to get conned into getting my scuba dive certification. I've always been terrified of scuba and have never had a desire to spend time UNDER water (as someone who spends a lot of time ABOVE water, surfing, the idea of being under for long periods is a bit scary...). Alas, Andy is persuasive and I'm a bit of a pushover, so here we are. The online training was completed and after a brief video showing today we hopped right into it. Once in the pool I calmed down a bit...I really do love water. But I swallowed and snorted a few gallons of water because Andy had me laughing so hard. Ayeyaya. We just had a break and feasted at a local vegan spot, nourishing our bodies with yummy food and green juice, and now we are back for round two! Wish me luck, and less laughter....!

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Clams and Cash!

Moms Clams Casino

Clams Casino and Cold-Hard-Cash to be exact. Oh yeah, and lobsters. Lots of lobsters. That was my Christmas.

We decided against gifts, but of course ended up getting each other a few small things. I got mom some yoga paraphernalia and she got me cash!! Each bit of cash was with a letter with it's designated country (all the places I'm going this year)! It was a slow, relaxing morning - just chatting and sipping coffee. Then we headed to the movies and saw Ben Stillers', "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" was beautiful! The acting, the filming, the story, the *soundtrack* simply made you feel good all-over.

And as if that wasn't enough, we came home and mom cooked up a fresh-from-the-sea feast! My mom makes the BEST clams casino ever. You use big clams (we pulled these out of the mud at my dads "secret spot") and chop chop chop [or better yet use the food processor!].

-celery, onion, pepper
Season: fresh herbs, garlic

Bake in the oven on 375 til they're done. Boom. So good. Top with lots of fresh lemon juice and enjoy.

I'm feeling happy, healthy and well-fed and I'm at the airport now headed to Key West....!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Christmas Eve Brunch

Christmas Eve Brunch.  

I had a few of my favorite people over so that I could express my love for them through nurturing them and filling their bellies with delicious food! It, of course (and as always), turned into a [hip hop and soul] dance party. 

Have I mentioned lately how grateful I am for good friends, good food and dancing? Because I am!

Marie, home from Med school, and me...sipping hot tea <3 br="">

My beautiful dance partner and wonderful friend, HAYLEY HUFF!

I cooked up quite the spread....

Manifestation Miracles and Music


(manifest) :  to make evident or certain by showing or displaying
                 a visible representation of something abstract (as a quality)


1 :  an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs
2 :  an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment
3 :  Christian Science :  a divinely natural phenomenon experienced humanly as the fulfillment of spiritual law


I am powerful and amazing. I surrender to the will of the Divine, but know that the power of my intentions and thoughts create the world around me. As Rumi would say,  “Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."

With that said, I manifested some miraculous shit recently. I am back in the Divine flow of the Universe, and it feels like I'm wrapped up in a warm, safe hug. I must admit, I fell off the wagon for moment. I was in a bit of a cold-weather-surfless-funk. I haven't been meditating, I was neglecting my self-practice, and become more and more casual about my strict cleanse. I was feeling frustrated and fatigued, but worst of all, I was feeling uninspired. After my unsuccessful trip to the Indian Consulate in NYC last week I decided that it was time to shake it up and shake it off. I sat and made a list of my dreams that I know I have the power to manifest. 


Cailin's Manifestation List
  • MUSIC:
*I want to record some of my favorite mantras....sacred sound. The mantras that have personally healed me and enhanced my being. To do this solo wouldn't do them justice, so I hope to find someone to accompany me. I'm not sure who this person is, but I know that they will reveal themselves now that this intention is out there. I'm hearing magical percussion that makes you feel something....
  • YOGA:
*I'm ready to share my Bhakti and knowledge on a global platform. I'm ready to hold space in growing international retreats and trainings, and to connect with others who are sharing this same message and passion.
*GOLDEN BUDDHA YOGA WEBSITE : though my website is under construction and still in its earliest stage, I'm so excited to continue on creating a space to share my message, connect people around the globe, and inspire people to LIVE, love, and exist from their Sva Dharma.
*Create a global community through GBY and create a community karmic yoga charity



John De Kadt is an insanely talented human being. I have been listening to his inspirational music since I first heard his song "Three Worlds" four years ago at Yoga Swami's in Encinitas. No matter how uninspired I may be feeling, when I put this song on - it moves me. It moves me into a yoga flow, into feeling whatever has been buried deep, and it moves me into moving back into harmony with the Universe. Through one of my teachers (Erika Blazenik) facebook pages, I saw that he had played in Philadelphia. PHILLY!? My back yard?! John de Kadt?! I couldn't believe it! And I wrote just that underneath the video clip that she had posted of JDK going mental on the drums. When I came back to facebook later in the day I had a friend request from John. BAH! Butterflies in my belly! "Accept"...duh. Then I opened my messages and there was a heartfelt letter of gratitude from John for my comment on the video. I then proceeded to ramble on about how moved I am by his music and how thankful I am for all that he is and all that he shares. This sparked a steady stream of conversation and now we're buddies. Boom. Thank you Universe for facilitating this Divine connection. All of this only one day after writing down my intentions. And by no coincidence we will both be in southern India at the same time this winter. I look forward to spending more time with someone that is such a gem (not only is he musically talented, but he is wickedly funny, has a super tight "emoticon" game, and is a delightful conversationalist) and to jamming with him and [hopefully] collaborating with him. 

Life is beautiful. 
Sometimes I need to slow down and remind myself that.

“In your light I learn how to love. 
In your beauty, how to make poems. 
You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, 
but sometimes I do, 
and that sight becomes this art.”

Side Note: I just want to give a shout out to SPOTIFY....which has completely revolutionized the world of music as far as I'm concerned. Truly, it is the best $10/month that I have ever spent. For those of you who are up to paying for their premium membership, you can "follow" me and you can "follow" my playlists (which I make for nearly every class). It is a great way to discover new music and share music with friends. And, you can find John De Kadt on there too! Enjoy!


Monday, December 23, 2013

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Monday Yoga

I'm subbing for Ari in addition to my regular schedule, so there are three opportunities for you to come settle into your body :)

When you close your eyes...

When you close your can truly see. This is what the Buddha tells us, and I've found it to be so true...

Last night I taught my blindfolded yoga workshop at a new studio in town, YOGA DOG, owned by Steve Mullen. The space is truly beautiful, and there is a warm, inviting energy to it that is very special. I'm always surprised and grateful at the ease with which people trust me and remove their sight, but I'm never surprised by the huge smiles afterwards!!! You simply must dive within when sight is is a powerful tool not only for meditation but also to connect with your breath.

Thanks to everyone who came out, and a special thanks to Steve for hosting me! Check out his studio if you have the time....

Yoga Dog
1055 Shore Road
Linwood, NJ

Osho says, “We are not to become perfect, we are born perfect. And we are not to invent bliss, we have only to discover it. Hence it is not such a difficult matter as people think; it is a very simple process of relaxing, resting, and slowly slowly getting centered. Nobody is an exception, it is an absolute law: one who goes within, finds it - finds the kingdom of God, the perfect bliss, the absolute truth. And with it comes freedom and great fragrance. Life becomes a dance, a poetry, a constant ecstasy; moment-to-moment it goes on growing. There is a beginning in this journey but no end….”

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Friday Night Dance Party.

Warning: Sweaty Armpits are a side effect of excessive dancing and abundant joy.

Thanks to Clancys Bar for the epic tunes and ice cold club sodas, and thanks to my beautiful and amazing friends who are SO.MUCH.FUN. I went to bed too late, with legs that were too tired from too much fun- and my cheeks hurt from smiling. Grateful.

Friday, December 20, 2013


Eat & Run by Scott Jurek. An inspiring novel...even for those of us that (hate) (loathe) do not enjoy running....
I'm cleansing.
Physically I have been cleansing for some time.
But now I am cleansing the space around me as well.
After all, I really don't need that much...

Most of my money spent is on my health...the food that I eat, the supplements that I take, holistic doctors and yoga classes. All of these things are something that I can take with me that take up no room...spending money now to save later. Stuff, things, clothes, possessions...these cannot be brought with you and they will do little but slow you down on the journey ahead. Aside from yoga pants, books and groceries, I don't shop. I see cute picture frames in stores, cool clothes, and interesting knick-knacks. I feel an urge to purchase them, but then, it passes - as quickly as it came. I literally live my life out of a small back pack - and sometimes I even get to live out of a car! How luxurious! I have come to realize that if it can't fit in the back pack, then its not necessary. Detoxing from my addiction to "stuff" wasn't easy at first, but now it is effortless. It is not unusual for me to take the shirt off of my back and give it to someone - or to take earrings off and hand them over to another. And I'm not sad to see them go, but happy to be free. Ya dig?

Last night I was at my friend Rochelle's house for dinner, and I started paging through her most recent read: "Eat & Run" by ultramarathoner Scott Jurek. I read nearly half the book before I left the house and then skimmed the other half. Talk about inspiring!! And I HATE running! But this guy has it figured out. His body is his temple. He nurtures it with healthy food, exercise, yoga and meditation. And he is very zen...I imagine that you must be if you are running 100miles on the regular. He quotes Yvonne Chouinard (founder of Patagonia and professional "dirtbagger"), saying "The more you know, the less you need." I'm going to repeat that, capitalize it, and put it in big letters....


G'damn Yvonne, you could say that again. Sit with that for a second, and digest it. 

 And so it is.
The books can stay, but everything else must go.
If it can't fit in the back pack, then it can't stay here.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Key West.

I can't wait for Key West!!!! Already counting down the days til I'm free of all responsibilities and just relaxing in the sunshine with my good friends! We have been having a great time in the studio recently, but I'm ready for some warmer weather.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Out of Harmony...

I counted 60 people in line ahead of me....and there was twenty people behind me...
This is how I felt when I walked away from the Consulate, and this is the actually reaction that I witnessed as people exited the building. For a good laugh and some insight into this experience, type in BLS India NYC into and enjoy some hysterical (alas heart-breaking) rants....
I am feeling out of alignment.
I am not in harmony with the universal flow right now.
I just cant be.
I am feeling frustrated, exhausted, and defeated.

Deep breath in...
Deep breath out.

Previous commitments have kept me state-side, and this is what I remind myself again and again, as the Universe continually reminds me that its time for me to leave. (Did you hear that Universe?? I have heard you loud and clear, thank you for the {continued} messages, but you can let up -- I promise to be leaving as soon as my commitments are through!). I honestly believe that when we are in harmony with the Divine flow of the Universe that all things fall into place. Lately I have found that I am taking three steps forward, only to take two steps back. On the bright side, at least I am moving one step forward, slowly slowly! Physically, Financially, Mentally, and Spiritually I am feeling run down. All attempts to move forward are thwarted by some odd or end, and I am trying to keep strolling on the sunny side of the street with a smile on my face.

My trip to NYC today to get my Indian Visa was a complete bust. It took hours getting into the city, only to stand for two hours in a line that didn't budge outside of the consulate. After an hour and a half I asked the man in front of me, "Have we progressed at all? Or have we all just started to move closer together?". With a defeated tone, he whispered back, "Oh no. We have only moved closer together madam. It looks like today will be a long day." Fuck it. I can only handle the cold for so long before it begins to break my spirit. It literally hurts my deepest heart. To cheer myself up I sat down in a cozy little restaurant and threw down some super spicy Korean food. Hallelujah.Completely overwhelmed, I cried a few tears of frustration as I cuddled up into myself on the subway ride downtown. As soon as I got to Ninas I felt better. Perhaps its because her and I are doing really cool shit together, or maybe its because she has the BEST apartment in NYC with the most inviting energy and warm flow of sunshine. I vented about this bullshit cold weather and the bullshit run-around at the consulate, and she vented about the damp, cold, wet nasty NYC gloom and the inconsistent mail service. << INSERT REBEL YELL HERE>> We ventured out for almond milk lattes and then BOOM. Totally fine. And now it has slowly morphed into the most amazing day. All of my discontentment was a reflection of my reactions to situations out of my hands. It's amazing what a few moments of peace and clarity can do -- and yeah, a good bitching session with one of your girlfriends helps too. I might be taking several steps forward lately, only to take several steps backwards, but at least I'm moving - and now that I'm back to counting my blessings instead of my sorrows I am feeling lighter. I have a meeting with my nutritionist tomorrow and I am hopeful that she will have some insight into my lifestyle and diet that will help me to find more comfort and ease with this cleanse, detox, and overall renewal. And as far as finances are concerned...well, I just have faith that all of that will fall into place.

So, next time you feel out of harmony - let a few f*bombs fly, sip a coffee, and sit in the sunshine with one of your buddies. Breathe in, breathe out, and chill. Boom. Warm Blessings to you on this cold ass day...!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Goddess Goodness.

Holy good god almighty, I am surrounded by goddess goodness and it has me overflowing with love! 

If you look up "goddess" in the Meriam-Webster dictionary, you get a pretty generic definition. I much prefer the one listed on Urban Dictionary....

1. Goddess
1. Any sort of Goddeity, or anything that is worshipped and is female.

2 A woman who is so beautiful, brilliant, and wholesome that she is simply not like any other women on Earth and therefore possesses some sort of uncommon spiritual element that while is cannot be solidly defined it is clearly present. 

And now you have somewhat of an idea about what I'm working with. We have 16 trainees in this 200hour training, and they are ALL beautiful, ALL brilliant and ALL wholesome...ALL possessing a profound spiritual element that cannot be put into words. I love teaching them, and I love the lessons that I am learning from them as well. I have nothing against men...I love men! Ha! But it is such a unique energy to just be surrounded by powerful and amazing females, each of whom have something totally different and unique to offer to the group. 

The other night was our Christmas potluck which was obviously a ton of fun....yet it was taken to the next level when we took the party to Clancys Bar in somers point. All of the girls joined me in drinking club soda, enjoying an evening of sober fun. We danced, aw sweet lawd, did we dance! Again, each of us had our own style of moving and grooving, and it was so beautiful to watch. We all moved, driven by the rhythm within, as if no one was watching - with smiles from ear to ear (and sweat dripping down our blouses). 

I am so grateful for this goddess goodness in which I'm existing and teaching. 
I am so grateful for the sacred movement and expression of dance. 
I am so grateful for this beautiful day and for each moment it gifts me. 


Sent from my iPad

Sunday, December 15, 2013


I love eggs.
Love Love Love.
As my dear friend Kelly says, "If you have an egg, you have a meal." Amen sister.

My favorite way to eat them changes about once a month. My new favorite combo is

-summer squash
-Vidalia onion
-fresh garlic
-salt, pepper, cayenne, cumin

I tried to take a picture of it but the photo doesn't do it justice.

This combo was inspired by a bulb of garlic given to me by my student Michael. He brings me the most delicious apples along with other goodies and this head of garlic is exceptionally delicious as well. They say garlic is best for you when eaten raw, so I don't add it in until the last minute.

Sauté diced onion, kale and summer squash (SEEDS REMOVED!). Add in chopped fresh garlic and immediately crack eggs into pan, turn heat on low, and when eggs are nearly finished add in cooked quinoa (which I have usually seasoned with curry, turmeric, cumin, garlic, lemon).

This is so plate-licking good, so prepare yourself!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Face Masks for Healthy Travel.

While traveling around Asia you will see countless Asians wearing surgical masks...some even invest in pretty fabric ones! In Kathmandu every single person was wearing one. They wore them in Cambodia, Thailand and Laos, and a few in Indonesia. I never understood and to be honest, I thought that they looked super silly. But now...I get it!! And I'm joining in!!

Anytime that I am in transit for a long time, or specifically when a flight is delayed and we are just sitting on the plane, I always get sick. I spent my first month in India sick, and it spent my first two weeks home in Jersey sick because of shitty air on long, congested flights. And now I'm sick again thanks to the stale, contaminated air that I was stuck in for nearly two hours as my plane sat on the runway in Texas awaiting take off. Ugh.

So next time you see me in transit, I will be grinning behind my surgical mask, because THIS girl is NOT getting sick ever again.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Friday, December 6, 2013

Flight Cancellations.

My first flight was cancelled.
Got lucky and got on a later one.
Second flight cancelled.
Flying out Saturday afternoon now.

See you all in the studio on Sunday!

The Hunt

The Flying "P"