not all who wander are lost.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My Fathers Daughter.

My Dad was a Captain, who not only knew everything about the sea- but also knew how to catch, clean and cook many of its inhabitants. Just like you miss the way when sitting in the passenger seat, I never really learned how to catch, clean or cook like my Dad did- certainly not with his level of skill, perfection and *grace*. I caught fish because he tied the hooks, baited my line and put me on the "spot". I ate perfectly filleted fish ( no bones, no waste, no 'icky bits' ) because he cleaned them with a surgeons precision, and I always enjoyed the most perfectly cooked fish because he executed it so. Even in the last few months of his life- when walking, talking and living was so hard, he STILL cleaned a fish twice as good as any fisherman and in half the time. So, Why pay attention when someone is doing all of this amazingness for you? I don't want to say that I 'regret' not paying better attention, but I will say that it was an epic fail. Alas, I suppose that some things are genetic, or at least if you've seen something enough times its bound to sink into your brain somehow...because yesterday I fileted my first fish! I took a few minutes before the task at hand to close my eyes. With my eyes shut I allowed memories of my Dad cleaning fish to show me the to hold the fish, the way to position the knife, where to begin. My Dad would have frowned at the knife that's was using, but other than that I think that he would have been proud. I missed a bit of meat on the first piece of fish but then I found my rhythm. I certainly felt like 'my fathers daughter' when all was said and done. Even Nir chimed in at the end, "We'll Cailin, I know that your Dad would be so did Great"....

Kill Em and Eat Em.

Monday, April 29, 2013


I had rice and curry last night at Marina and Gerrits house, cooked up by their Ama- who now refers to me as her third "dua" which means "daughter". I brought a package of milk cookies, which are Malik's favorite (her youngest son). After dinner we strummed some Ukele, the kids passed out, and Ama finally ate a bowl of food. Another night, another blessing.

Today's To Do List...

Been having so much fun with Kelly (from Wales, married to Australian Marko, living in Byron Bay) and Marina (from California, dating Gerrit from Hawaii and living in Hawaii). We have had a few proper "girl days" which have involved delicious meals, massages, tea and biscuits, palm reading, dance parties and long gab sessions. It's great to have two quality mamacitas as my good friends here in paradise. As it goes, every morning starts off with the only thing on the 'to do' list...and that's to go surfing. The swell has dropped off a bit but I've still managed to get some amazing waves, heaps of hang time, and even a few barrels. Boom.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

I Am Happy.

"I have brushed the clouds and wet my hands in the running stream, the day has started with miracles and I am happy."

Cailin Callahan

Smoking Kills.

"Has anyone told you that smoking kills?!" This is something that comes out of my mouth twenty-some-times a day. Both boys, Nir and Ziv, smoke. And every time that they light up, I give them a concerned look and recite my line about how smoking kills. It's become a bit of a joke at the house, and today I got to mix it up a bit because their new box of smokes says "smoking seriously harms you and others around you" instead of the usual 'smoking kills'. I had to wrestle the case out of Nir's hands to get a photo of the box for the blog....

Kids, smoking kills.

Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat Shalom! This is a Hebrew greeting that you use for Shabbat, the day of rest. Shabbat begins on Friday when there are three stars in the sky (or easier is just to say when the sun sets) and ends at sunset on Saturday. On Shabbat you enjoy backgammon (called SheshBesh) with friends, you enjoy a day of leisure and end the day with a delicious meal which usually involves fish or meat and a large plate of hummus (or "hommos" as they say in Israel). My friend Miki honors Shabbat with a feast, and since I now am an honorary Israeli I invited myself along as well. We had a great time, enjoyed a magnificent feast (roasted potatoes, deeeelectable fish, salad and hummus) and laughed the night away....until about 1 in the morning! Oye! SHABBAT SHALOM! 

Shabbat Shalom: "May your day of no work be peaceful". 

Simple Life, Good Life.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Moms Final Words...

Moms emails have come to an end. For so many, including myself, they were the most beautiful, inspiring, sad and honest letters you've ever come across. Thank you again to everyone who supported us in so many ways these past few years, we are so grateful. And I would like to add a special note of gratitude to my mom for showing me the power of love and selflessness...I have never seen anyone love another as my Mom loved my Dad (with the exception of how much that love was given in return...).

God Bless.

Mom writes...

This is the last email that will go out to the Paul's head group.I am sure there will be many of you that will miss these letters, some will be relieved to have them come to an end.This group was always about the two of us. It was me sharing with you what I believe to be "The Greatest Love Story Ever Told." It kept us going probably longer than we ever had the right to wish for. You supported us with your love, prayers, and took care of our physical needs.I will be forever indebted to each and every one of you.
OUR journey is over. Paul will forever be in our hearts, minds,souls. He is in the woods, the water, and he is in the very air that I breathe , but recently I have sadly come to the realization that I am no longer a WE. I am a ME. The US has become I. It is a reality that I'm still wrapping my head around, and it will unfold itself to me every day. Wish me luck. And please keep in touch if you care to. My heart and my home are always open to Happy Positive people.
Thank you, love, Doreen

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Feast of Generosity.

Nir has been coming to Sri Lanka for many years now. In those years he has become very close to a local family, and has become Ama's unofficial, honorary "son". He has lived with this family and now is renting houses from their extended family (which he is fixing up and renting out). Last night, after a meeting with the family, Nir scooped up Ziv and I for dinner at the house. Ama cooked up a rice and curry feast for us, and just like any mother, she fussed over Nir being 'too skinny' and kept encouraging him to fill up his plate. As is the Sri Lankan way, we ate on our own as Ama watched and then later fed herself and her husband when we were finished. It's a hard custom to become acquainted with, but I just try to relax into it..going empty handed to a house for a meal, which your host wont participate in. Oye. Anywho, Ama was quite impressed with the little blonde white girl who could eat with her hands, who loved chilis, and who could speak a bit of Sinhalese. Another wonderful meal cooked up by another full-of-love Ama. I am constantly moved by the generosity of others, especially by those who have so little- and still give so much. Today I am feeling so very blessed, and very full! 

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? 
If I am for myself only, what am I?
If not now, when?" 
--rabbi hillel

*this is a picture of Tata (dad), Ama's husband, that Nir snapped...

(Not) the Israeli House

Home is where the heart is, and my heart wasn't at Lahirus Guest House where I'd been staying. It's a great spot, but my friends Nir and Ziv are renting a house for the season so I moved my stuff into one of the rooms there. I have been referring to it as the "Israeli House" {to Nirs dismay...israeli surfers dont have the best reputation around these parts}.The room is big and beautiful, with the breeze constantly blowing and a full power fan. I can sleep at night without a mosquito net and they have two very.large.dogs here, which makes me feel safe at night (it also doesn't hurt that the boys are Israeli, so they've obviously spent years in the army...). We have a big kitchen and a wide open living space, fresh coconuts in the trees, and best of all- I have Nir and Ziv. These men would give you the shirt of their back if you needed it. They will make you laugh until your stomach hurts, and they offer up that special bit of love and "family" that makes me feel at HOME. Nir can bust sum serious dance moves, which he does spontaneously throughout the day and Ziv makes up a delicious fruit smoothie (always in the middle of the afternoon when the heat makes you crave something cold and sweet). All in all, I'm super pumped on my move, my new casa, and my new roomies. I love cuddling with the dogs in the morning and laughing with the boys in the evening. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


The waves have been quite small so yesterday afternoon we rallied a crew for Yala National Park, which is just an hours drive from here. Honestly? I wasn't that's SO wild all around us here that the park doesn't seem too different at all...just an expensive, very bumpy jeep ride along a dirt road. We were hoping to see a panther, but no such luck. We saw heaps of deer, with HUGE racks, and I just kept hearing my Dad shout his famous line, "Kill Em and Eat Em". The highlight of the trip was actually a tame deer that hung around the admissions office, which I got to pet! Even better was when two stray puppies came up and started cuddling and playing with the deer. All in all, another great day with friends.


I think that the local "nice" biscuits are my favorite....they're, well, nice!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Gerrit + Marina

Gerrit + Marina

Wow. I have been so blessed with an amazing family and community (and waves!) here in Arugam Bay. I am loving every second of it. Gerrit and Marina have been two of my closest friends here in town. The three of us are super stoked surf freaks that like to be in the water at the crack of dawn and surf until we cant possible paddle another stroke. We play games together in the afternoon and take turns playing their Ukelele (I'm obsessed and will be purchasing one ASAP when I get home!). Gerrit comes from a few generations of surfers and "home" is California and Hawaii. Marina is another Californian who has also lived in Hawaii. They are a super chilled, generous, shanti couple. They have been living with a local family here in town and last night I was invited for dinner. The meal: rice and curry (obviously). Ama (mom) made red rice, papadoms, dal, salad, carrot and coconut salad, banana leaf and coconut salad, fried potatoes and curried string beans, and vegetable curry. Holy hell, it was amazing and I had three helpings. As soon as you think it's over, Ama refills the bowls and comes back from the kitchen with more. In the true Sri Lankan way and tradition, we eat alone (the family watches and then eats separately after we have finished). I would say that it's weird but I'm used to it by now and understand that's just "the way it is". And so, after we were finished our epic meal, Ama made herself a plate and enjoyed her meal. It was such a treat to get a home cooked meal made with love, as well as a great "mom" hug.


Sunday, April 21, 2013

kathmandu via maria

My friend Maria sent these two photos that she'd snapped of me in Kathmandu. So grateful to have crossed paths with such a beautiful mamacita...she really helped me to find the peace that I was needing....

Saturday, April 20, 2013

And so it goes.

And so it goes...

4:30am wake up
In the water by 6am, not a minute later.
Surf 3 hours
15 minute NesCafe break @ Upali (cafe overlooking the break)
Surf 2 hours more


I may not have any lovers or boyfriends or "special friends" at the moment, but I am blessed with some *great* men in my life. Nir and Ziv (Israel) have taken care of my reef injury, Luc (France) has been my "world domination" shit head partner, Pontus (Sweden) and Miki (Israel) have been my Backgammon maestros, Gerritt(USA) is my ukele instructor, Simon (Wales) is my adventure partner and early morning surf buddy, and Nicola (Italy) is my personal comedian. Blessed.

Peacock Power Animal

I have been wondering for a few years about what my Spirit Animal, or "Power Animal" was. I kept being told that one day I would 'just know'. Well, I think I figured out what it was...a peacock (or shall I say "peahen" -- which is a female peacock). After reading about it I feel that it is the appropriate fit. I feel so blessed for this discovery and for my encounter the other day! 

Peacock/Peahen's Gifts Include - all aspects of beauty, wholeness, ability to see into the past, present, and future, immortality, dignity, rising out of ashes, self-confidence, watchfulness, immortality. 

The peacocks feathers are meaningful to those with this power animal, for they also have an association with resurrection, rising out of the ashes. They can help us shed the old feathers of the past and to take back the true beauty of our individuality. This increases self-respect and confidence. . The eyes on the peacocks feathers represent their ability to see into the past, present and future and can teach those with this power animal how to stir their clairvoyant gifts. The cycle of birth, death and resurrection (rebirth) is a whole. This relates to valuing all aspects of this cycle, and to have faith that we never truly die. 

Those with this totem often gain recognition for their talents and have the potential to be prominent leaders in their chosen field. 

Peacock's Wisdom Includes:
Active Service
Wisdom and Vision
Spiritual Abundance
Dignity and Beauty
Being Protective and Powerful

Friday, April 19, 2013


Played another gig last night in Arugam Bay. The love bucket was fruitful...yay!