not all who wander are lost.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

MmMm surf!

What a great day. Last night I made myself some dinner, bought a nice bottle of wine, and rented a movie (a British film, "Death at a Funeral", very funny). Laid low and went to bed early. Woke up this morning, stretched, had a strong cup of coffee and checked the waves. Ended up down the North End of Ocean City for some fabbbulous swell with some fantastic surfers. The sun was shining so bright that I didn't even need a hood.

Life is good.

Friday, November 28, 2008


I'm feeling unbearably restless.
I want to go somewhere, do something, or meet someone, but I'm not sure where that place is, that thing is, or who that person is. Money is making decisions for me, and I hate that - but it's something that I don't have in abundance, so I must spend wisely. Christmas is also affecting my travels because it is 4 weeks away...long enough that I don't want to spend here, but too short for me to really make plans to go elsewhere. Christmas in California with friends would be one thing, but Christmas in Costa Rica is just sad. What to do, what to do, what to do? I wish money grew on trees.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving Thanks

Bah. I'm crazy. For those of you who know me, you know this. For those of you who don't know me but have read my blog, I'm sure that you are catching on. I'm crazy. Passionate. As Feist sings, "I Feel It All", sometimes too much. I have high high highs and low lows. My dad said to me once, "Cailin, you can't just be happy or sad - you are either overly ecstatic or you take on all the sadness of the world. Too extreme." So I've tried to work on finding a happy medium, but after years of trying and trying, I've just accepted that I'm always gonna be a bit unbalanced! Recently I've been feeling overwhelmed with sadness, I feel it all the way down to my bones. And to add to that, I just realized that I am growing older every day - and that this is LIFE. I'm living it. My mom and my dad aren't going to make decisions for me anymore, I have to make them. My parents aren't going to provide for me anymore, I need to take care of myself. Shit - it's a lot for somebody to process. Anyways, I woke up this morning with swollen, tear-filled eyes, one of those low low days. I drove over to my parents dwelling on all that's been uninvited into my life recently but won't seem to go away. Boohoo. When I got to my parents, my mom gave me a card that said "Sometimes life seems hard but there's always lots to be thankful for. I'm thankful for you." It made all these things I've been worrying about seem so, ridiculous. I have so much to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for my Dad, my bearded mountain man who loves me more than anybody ever has or ever will. For his thoughtful advice, his loud mouth, "killem n eatem" and "you're dead to me". Ha, for always making me laugh, teaching me how to surf, how to fish and how to just 'ride the river of life'. I'm thankful for my Mom. She is a force, 'I'm woman hear me roar' - you can feel her presence before you even see her. Since the day I was born she has lived for me with such fierce passion that only mothers have. For her ability to whip up a party for 50 likes it nothing, and how champagne is totally acceptable 365 days of the year, 24 hours a day. I'm thankful for her teaching me how to play my first chord on the guitar, it changed my life. I'm thankful for my beautiful, bunny-loving, wonderfully gifted and artistic, wholesome and giving friend Gina. She makes me a better person just knowing her. Selfless and sincere. I'm thankful for Julia who I've known since birth, and it doesn't matter if we go a minute, an hour, a week, or a year, we always just pick up where we left off. I'm thankful for my friend Sharon and her boyfriend Jeff who have become family, caring for me, feeding me, and making sure I laugh. I'm thankful for Sharon's love of baking pies, and the hours she puts into it, and Jeff's unwavering passion for 3 things: surfing, fishing, and Sharon. I'm thankful for Christian and how he always knows how to make my new song better, make it complete. For his freakishly amazing mind, his love of music, cigarettes, Jeopardy, and his snoopy t-shirt. I'm thankful for Sven's energizer-bunny-energy, his fire for love - particularly Tara, and his child-like-innocence. He's one of the most talented people I have ever met, and he plays the djembe with his whole soul. I'm thankful for my quirky Corkill and her crazy glasses, her Asian travel destinations, her desire to try every food there is and travel to every spec of the globe, and her love for kickball and playing ping-pong with the old Japanese men down the street. I'm thankful for Paul, who is the closest thing I'll have to a brother--for all the nights that he's listened to me laugh, rant, and cry. For giving me a home to live in, rides to the airport, and for being my date-night-dinner-buddy. I'm thankful for Rob Kulisek's beautiful photos and his obsession with everything retro. I'm thankful for Bart's ability to tell the same story over and over and over with just as much enthusiasm as the first time he told it. I'm thankful for Andy and his 'pep-talks', and his drive and determination to be successful - and he does it with integrity. I'm thankful for Emily Bogushefsky and her sweet words that pick me up whenever I'm down. I'm thankful for Strathmere. I'm thankful for Rochelle and her love for Martha Stewart, for Harry's fabulous coffee, Jill's sweet innocence, and Fiona's chubby cheeks. I'm thankful for the blues. For Bonnie Raitt, Mississippi Fred McDowell, Iron & Wine, Cold War Kids, Cat Power, Meiko, Martin Sexton's "Glory Bound" and Gillian Welch's "Revelator". I'm thankful for my ten fingers that play guitar and write songs. I'm thankful for Linda Goodman and all of her astrology books. I'm thankful for Channin and my fabulous, love my of life 9' pintail. I'm thankful for soft-spoken Gordon and his love for Julia, cooking and meat. I'm thankful for Ceceila who has overcome more than anyone a know, and did it with a smile. Jessie for surviving, and coming out 'green'. I'm thankful for everyone I've met and will meet, everywhere I've traveled and will venture to go in the future. I'm thankful for wine, miller high life, and my dad's kick ass gin & tonics {supersized and ice cold}. I'm thankful for surfing, which has saved my life and given every day a purpose. I'm even thankful for ex-boyfriends, who taught me a lot about myself, dealt with my madness, and still care for me to this day. I'm thankful for the internet; myspace for getting my music out there, facebook to keep in touch, and my blog for helping me release some of the madness that's running around in my head.

If I don't stop now, it may never end. My point is, there is SO much to be thankful for. Just step back and look in. I'm thankful that it's Thanksgiving and that I have so much to be thankful for.

Thank you to all of my friends, those mentioned above and those that weren't, you make me complete.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Word Wednesday

Today's word is Friendship, because it has been coming up rather often lately. I have been blessed with some amazing, truly wonderful people as my friends. For the past three weeks I have been staying with friends on the West Coast, and they have cared for me like family. Even now, as I'm typing this letter, I'm staying at my friends Jeff & Sharon's house. Knowing that I've been a bit down, they have opened their home to me - feeding me, laughing with me, and being my friends.
Here are some words about friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledgeesteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trustthat someone or something will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

:Here Are Some Of My Fabulous Friends:

Christian and Sven, my bandmates and great friends

My roomates and support group, Raksha, Kara and Kim

My friends-since-birth, be-there-whenever-you-need her kickass friend, Julisa

Jeff & Sharon, my fabulous, funny, fun, surf buddies, food buddies, and true believers.

JamieD: Sweetest, Supportive, Surfin Mama

GINA!!! I don't think that there are words to describe her. Wonderful. Phenomenal. Beautiful.

Paulie - the brother that I never had. Family.

Corkill, ah corkill. My creative, colorful sister. 

There are many more friends that I don't have up here, but I love them all!! Probably my best friend of all is my Dad. When you have friends you aren't alone. 

Here are some friend quotes.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"What is a friend? I will tell is someone with whom you dare to be yourself."
~ Frank Crane

"To know someone here or there 
with whom you can feel
there is understanding
in spite of distances or
thoughts expressed
That can make life a garden."

"There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential."
~ Rusty Berkus


''''Best friend (or close friend): a person(s) with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.'

Acquaintance: similar to a friend, but sharing of emotional ties aren't present. An example would be a coworker with whom you enjoy eating lunch, but would not look to for emotional support.

Romantic friendship: the very close but non-sexual friendship shared between two friends, often involving physical contact such as hugging, holding hands, and even cuddling.

Soulmate: the name given to someone who is considered the ultimate, true, and eternal half of the other's soul, in which the two are and forever were meant to be together.

Pen pal: a person who shares a "postal" relationship with another and regularly writes via "snail mail". They may or may not have met each other in person and may share either love, friendship, or simply an acquaintence between each other.

Internet friendship: a widely debated and criticized form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet. It is similar to a pen pal, in a sense a "technologically modern" form of pen pals, and the people may or may not have met in person. It's often considered dangerous.

Comrade: means "ally", "friend", or "colleague" in a military or (usually) left-wing political connotation. This is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Former New York Times war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote:

"We feel in wartime comradeship. We confuse this with friendship, with love. There are those, who will insist that the comradeship of war is love — the exotic glow that makes us in war feel as one people, one entity, is real, but this is part of war's intoxication. [...] Friends are predetermined; friendship takes place between men and women who possess an intellectual and emotional affinity for each other. But comradeship – that ecstatic bliss that comes with belonging to the crowd in wartime – is within our reach. We can all have comrades."[2]

As a war ends, or a common enemy recedes, many comrades return to being strangers, who lack friendship and have little in common.

Casual relationship or "Friends with benefits": the sexual or near-sexual and emotional relationship between two people who don't expect or demand to share a formal romantic relationship. In the U.S., this is considered "a fling".

Boston marriage: a term used in the ninteenth and twentieth centuries to denote two women that lived together in the same household independent of male support. Relationships were not necessarily sexual. It was used to quell fears of lesbians after World War I.

Blood brother or blood sister: may refer to people related by birth, or a circle of friends who swear loyalty by mingling the blood of each member together.

Open relationship: a relationship, usually between two people, that agree each partner is free to have sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. When this agreement is made between a married couple, it's called an open marriage.

Roommate: a person who shares a room or apartment (flat) with another person and do not share a familial or romantic relationship.

Imaginary friend: a non-physical friend created by a child. It may be seen as bad behavior or even taboo (some religious parents even consider their child to be possessed by an evil spirit), but is most commonly regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior. The friend may or may not be human, and commonly serves a protective purpose.

So everyone, call your friend(s) today and tell them how much they mean to you. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"I'm Stuck!"

Ha. Funny story.
I went surfing today in cold-ass new jersey.
I was wearing my new 5'4 wetsuit, 5 mil booties and gloves.
Surfed for two hours, until I was freezing.
Got back to Jeff & Sharon's and I couldn't get out of my suit.
I was sitting in the shower, stuck.
Like I was in a straight-jacket.
Sharon finally came in to help me out.
Ha. Ha. Ha.

Back In Jersey

Almost missed my flight.
I'm leaving California.
LA is all about...excessiveness.
You can't just have boobs, you have to have huge, perky plastic boobs. You don't need another pair of those Jimmy Cho heels, but you'll buy a few more just for good measure. Well why would we go out in LA and ONLY have 3 drinks when we can have a TON of drinks? Ha. Last night was a ton of fun, filled with excess, but I am certainly paying the price today.

I slept through my alarm, so thank God Lara woke me up - we left Dianes house @ 4:35 am - my flight was pulling out of LAX @ 6am. I went to the wrong terminal (I'm flying Delta, not US Airways) and then a small, angry asian woman from Delta yelled at me and told me that I couldn't check in - it was too late, get to the back of the line. BAH - the woman next to her could sense my tears because she helped me out - and I JUST made my flight. I mean, JUST made it. Oh yeah, my bag was 52 pounds, and the limit is 50 lbs, so they charged me $90. With 20 minutes until my departure I figured it was no time to argue or negotiate. Damnit.

I almost died on the plane - death by hangover. Is that possible? My hour long flight to Salt Lake City felt like it took an eternity. Walking off the plane was wonderful. Slammed some OJ and chugged some water. Feeling a bit less awful. Now I'm stuffed into my next flight to Philly like a sardine between to very robust people.

Finally arrive in Philly, and Paul picks me up. I head home and take a shower. Starting to feel alive again. It's cold and gray and drizzling. I'm definitely beginning to regret leaving California. Not to worry though cause I headed over to my friends house, Jeff & Sharon. They fed me a delicious dinner and gave me a bed. Woke up this morning to some hot coffee and a big breakfast. Things are looking up because the sun is coming out. One month left in Jersey, let the countdown begin....

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Last Night In Lompoc

My last night in Lompoc.
We drove over the river and through the woods for "pizza". I didn't understand at first but once we got there it clicked. Wonderful. Wonderful local wine, wonderful organic food, wonderful wonderful wonderful. Afterwards we headed to the shamrock bar for some music from Le Petit Protest. I didn't end up playing, but that was ooookay!!! We had a fun time dancing and then headed home. Good thing because I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to catch a train to LA.

I left Lompoc an hour ago.
3 Hours to go until I reach L.A.
I'm riding the train along the coast . It's beautiful.
I've almost cried 4 times since I woke up this morning. It's been an exciting, fulfilling, enjoyable 3 weeks I've had on the West Coast. I think that I'll return to California to set some roots after my winter of travel. I'm not sure where I'll end up in California, but I'm feeling connected to Lompoc. It's a quiet, small-town, real people, uncrowded line-up (for you non-surfers, that means that there aren't alot of surfers in the water), cows, horses, and vineyards!! Who knows -- I change my mind every few minutes, so I'm sure that it'll be up for debate until the day I move.

I've only been in LA for 20 minutes, but I've had 2 crack heads come up and ask me for money and hit on me, and I've had one homeless guy asking me for money -- telling me that he needs it for a ticket. My aunt's boyfriend picked me up (he's 2 years older than me...) and then we went to my favorite mexican place in all the world, CASA VEGA. Marco made us fabulous margaritas and we snacked on some delicious, AUTHENTIC mexican food. My friend Lara Pappas, whom I met in Costa Rica last year, met up with us. We got a buzz on then went shopping at Buffalo Exchange as we sipped Starbucks' Americanos.

Now we are back at the house, sipping some Pali wine (my aunt is part-owner in Pali vineyards) and waiting for whats next. I'm so so so so so so soooo (are you getting the point) very sad that I have to go back to the east coast tomorrow -- but I miss my family and friends, and I need to make sure that I get in some quality time before I head out for a winter of travel.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Surf, Songs & Saturday's

So last night Jay and I just had a mellow evening. Grabbed burgers and a beer down the street and then came home to watch a movie. This morning we woke up early and got a couple hour session in at Jalama Beach. We had to head back to house because Jay had some work to do on the yard -- so I laid out back with the dogs and threw on my ipod. I have a VERY diverse music selection on my ipod, and I got to thinking about GREAT ones that you can listen to from start to finish without having to hit the "skip" button. Here is the list that I came up with the best albums, from START to FINISH.

Alanis Morissette: Jagged Little Pill
Andrew Bird: The Mysterious Production of Eggs

Ben Taylor: Gravity

The Black Keys: Attack & Release

Bob Dylan

Bob Marley

Bonnie Raitt: Give It Up
CAT Power: You Are Free
Crosby Stills Nash & Young: Four Way Street Live
Damien Rice: O

Dave Matthews Band: Crash

David Gray: White Ladder

Dispatch: Bang Bang

Feist: The Reminder

Fiona Apple: Tidal

Fiona Apple: When The Pawn...
Fiona Apple: Extraordinary Machine

G.Love: The Hustle

Incubus: Morning View

Iron & Wine: The Sea & The Rhythm

Iron & Wine: The Creek Drank The Cradle
Iron & Wine: Our Endless Numbered Days
Iron & Wine: Woman King

Iron & Wine: The Shepard's Dog

Janis Joplin: Pearl
Jewel: Pieces of You
John Frusciante: Curtains
Joni Mitchell: Blue

Joni Mitchell: Ladies Of The Canyon

Jose Gonzalez: Veneer

Kings of Leon: Aha Shake Heartbreak

Kings of Leon: Because Of The Times

Lauryn Hill: The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

Lauryn Hill: MTV Unplugged

Meiko: Meiko

Modest Mouse: The Moon & Antartica
Modest Mouse: Good News For People Who Love Bad News
No Doubt: Tragic Kingdom

Ray LaMontagne: Trouble

Rodrigo Y Gabriela: Rodrigo Y Gabriela

The Roots: The Tipping Point
Sheryl Crow: Sheryl Crow

Tracy Chapman: Tracy Chapman

The White Buffalo: The White Buffalo

So that's my master list of cd's I can listen to without touching the skip button. I'm sure that its missing a couple here or there, and I may have given some cd's too much credit and put them on the list -- but regardless, hope you like em.

Speaking of MUSIC: Jbird, Kyle and I are going to see Le Petit Protest tonight at a bar in town. We hung out with them the other night (they are friends of Kyle) and we also met the bar owner - and they said that they would be stoked if I got up and played some music. So wooo hooo...I'm playing music tonight. Going to but on my hotmama dress and sing some of my favorite songs!

Friday, November 21, 2008


No More Booze {wine, alcohol, beer, sake, etc.}

Bah. Day 4? 5?

It's all just blending together. Not sure what day it is, but I know that I'm in the state of California.
But I do have my notebook, which I've been writing in, so I will reference that for today's blog.

Wednesday night Jay, Toy, me, and the shark-man himself (Kyle) went out for sushi. We ate a million rolls and drank a ton of japanese beer and sake. Kyle, aside from being unfazed by the infamous great white sharks, is a winemaker {"vintner"}, and he has a dog, DOG [dee-o-ghee]. His hands are stained a deep purple, almost black, from working with the grapes.

Yesterday, Thursday, I went to work with Toy @ Bridlewood Winery to learn all there is to know about wine. It's beautiful here; the grapes, the hills, the horses. I hung out in the office for a bit while Toy got some work done. She gave me the "bible" with all of the information about wine. Here are some things that I learned:
-Top 3 US States in terms of wine consumption: CA, NY, FL
-Why swirl? Because when you swirl your wine you invite oxygen into the glass, which allows the aromas to escape (if you taste or smell vanilla, the wine was most likely aged in oak casks)
-One bottle of wine has 2.4 pounds of grapes.
-Bacchus: the Greek and Roman God of Wine
-The horses @ Bridlewood are named Oprah (cause she's a big, black powerful woman), Charlie, Dr.Pepper, Cannon & Utah. There were a few more, but I didn't like them as much as I liked these horses.
-Fermentation: the process that occurs when yeast changes the sugar in grapes into alcohol and carbon dioxide.
-Tannin: a bitter compound found in the seeds, stems & skin of grapes, and is extracted from wooden barrels. It is quite astringent and causes a puckering sensation in the front of the mouth.
-Tannic: word used to describe wine in which tannins overpower the fruit and other elements. A tannic wine is not well-balanced.

In the afternoon, Juan took me on a tour. First, you crush the grapes. Not with your feet people, they use a machine. Then the wine ferments with yeast in steel containers for 2-3 weeks. After this they are moved into barrels where they will sit for anywhere from a year to 3 years. At Bridlewood they use 75% French Oak and 25% American Oak barrels. I drank unfiltered, still fermenting white wine - it was cloudy, still very fruity, and tasted almost like a white-wine spritzer or a mamosa. Similar to sparkling wine. Juan's job is to taste and test wine. Difficult, I know. He said sometimes you "just dont want to drink anymore wine" hahaha. He also told me that the best way to learn about wine is to drink drink drink. SO I took his advice, starting right then and there, and proceeded to drink for the rest of the day, and into the evening. Around 4 pm Jbird picked me up and we headed to the Red Barn , a local and famous spot. Jay and I sipped cocktails for a couple hours until Toy met up with us. After that we headed to some other bar, where we drank some more drinks! Debauchery should be today's word.

This morning I'm feeling a tad-bit hungover, which serves me right. I'm going to sip some tea and prepare for what the rest of the day has in store for me. Jay is getting done work early, so we will get to go for a surf. Definitely need to rest up for that...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Word Wednesday

I almost forgot!! Today is Wednesday. And from now on every Wednesday there will be a "Word of The Day". (I got the idea from my friend Rob Kulisek who was having Flannel Fridays on his blog). Sometimes I will have one word. Sometimes I will have two words. Sometimes I will have a dozen words. But look forward to this being a weekly event.

Main Entry: vo·lup·tu·ous
Pronunciation: \və-ˈləp(t)-shə-wəs, -shəs\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin voluptuosus, irregular from voluptas pleasure, from volup pleasurable; akin to Greek elpesthai to hope, Latin velle to wish — more at will
Date: 14th century
1 a: full of delight or pleasure to the senses : conducive to or arising from sensuous or sensual gratification : luxurious voluptuous dance> <voluptuous ornamentation> voluptuous wine> b: suggesting sensual pleasure by fullness and beauty of form <voluptuous nudes>2: given to or spent in enjoyment of luxury, pleasure, or sensual gratifications

*I love the word voluptuous. I love it. Voluptuous Voluptuous Voluptuous. Perhaps it's because it is a word that was created just for my bum! Ha! It glorifies fullness! I love classic pin-up girls and Marilyn Monroe, and to me, their "voluptuous" bodies are what is truly beautiful. I mean does anyone really find the Olsen twins, Kate Moss or Calista Flockhart beautiful? For crying out loud, Sir Mix-A-Lot even dedicated a song to us big-booty, voluptuous ladies! Here are some real voluptuous beauties:

Botticelli's (Voluptuous)"Venus"

and the timeless, voluptuous, gorgeous Marilyn Monroe

California : (Day 2) & Day 3

Yesterday was lovely. It began with getting a perfectly brewed Americano (well, not as great as Julia makes them, but pretty damn good) at a small cafe down the street. Toy, Clancy (toy's son) and I headed out for some breakfast then came home. Toy was feeling "sick" so she couldn't make it to work that day...

I took myself for a long walk around Lompoc, enjoying the sunshine and bopping in & out of a few antique stores and thrift shops. Got some cute little goodies, which is great because all I have with me is my not-so-warm-weather-friendly clothes that I had packed for Seattle. Jbird let me borrow some flip flops too, so now I almost have a california wardrobe.

When I got back from my walk, I sat outside with the dogs and started a new book, compliments of Julia, Tom Robbins "Skinny Legs and All". Ruby, the cattle dog, was dead set on helping me read, so she sat on my lap. Around 3pm, Toy came outside declaring that it was cocktail hour!! Now just a bit of FYI about Toy - she runs Bridlewood Winery. She's the real deal. So not only did we drink some fabulous wine - but I got a bit of an education about the process and art of winemaking and drinking. Also during our back-porch afternoon happy hour Toy and I talked about everything. Turns out that she lived in Japan for 5 months teaching businessmen english. Singing Karaoke, dancing at random japanese techno-bars, and eatting crazy foods. We talked about life, traveling (the importance of!), animals, love, and of course - WINE!

Jay got home about an hour before sunset, so we quickly hopped in the truck, loaded in the dogs, and headed to Surf Beach. I said that it looked like fun out there -- and then Jay ruined it for me. His buddy has been stalked by a great white three different times at this spot. This guy, KNOWING that there was a great white hanging out in the line-up, continued to surf here!! I know -- it doesn't make sense to me either. SO anyways, the third time that this guy was out there, he saw the shark again. And again, he just stayed in the water. Well a few minutes later the great white shark took a HUGE chunk out of this guys surfboard. I'm talking all three fins - gone. This guy is lucky to have his legs!! ANd you know what -- he was out there surfing just the other day. If I move out here to California, I CERTAINLY will NOT be surfing Surf Beach. I love my limbs, and I plan to keep them. When I was walking off the beach all I could hear were those two notes....

Today (wed) is day 3. Toy just left for work, and I'm about to cruise down to that Cafe and grab some caffeine. I am definitely planning on working on some of my new tunes, and for those of you who haven't checked out my youtube yet then shame on you!! Tonight we have plans to go out for SUSHI mmm with Jay and Toys' friend Kyle. I'll be sure to report about it all tomorrow!! Gotta go now, the little attack-kitten is using my pants as a play toy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

California : Day 2

So I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert between the Tom Robbins novels that Julia gave me. I'm really enjoying this book. The first third of the book, Eat (while she was in Italy) was my favorite. The Pray part (while she was in India) was just okay, and now the final part "Love" (while she is in Bali) is just wonderful! The medicine woman, "healer", gives Elizabeth a cure for her broken heart.

Fail-Proof Broken-Heart Curing Treatment:
Vitamin E
Get much sleep
Drink much water
Travel to a place far away from the person you loved
Teach you heart that this is destiny

I love it! And it's oooh so very true. Another tidbit that I'd like to post is from Elizabeth's indian Guru. It's about happiness.

" People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck,
something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough.
But that's not how happiness works.
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.
You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.
You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.
And one you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it:
you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever,
to stay afloat on top of it. "

With all of that said, I'm very happy!! Jbird (great, life-long friend Jay Oliver) picked me up at the Santa Barbara airport and we headed straight to the beach. We surfed waist high, clean waves...just the two of us. We surfed until the sun completely set, and I was so content, knowing that I made the right decision to stay on the west coast a bit longer. Jay and his woman Toy have a great house in Lompoc, CA. They have three dogs: Lulu (and old, blind, deaf very sweet bulldog), Ruby (a cattle-dog who's sole goal is to kiss you as many times as possible), and Osa (a part-wolf puppy with nothing but energy and love). They also have a very rambunctious new kitten and a very loud parakeet.

Jay is at work now, and we just finished a late breakfast and some delicious coffee. I'm going to play with the dogs, sip some tea, play some music, read Tom Robbins and think about my next blog. Hopefully Jay and I will be able to get in a surf session before dark.

Happiness is something I've created this week, with special help from my great friends (whom I consider family).

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Life is a River.

I was talking with my dad the other day and he had some great advice.

Life is like a river.
It'll bend right, then left, overwhelm you with raging waters, and sometimes run dry.
And you have no control over the direction that the river goes. So there is no use fighting it, you just have to flow with it.

There is no controlling life. Yes, you can make life to be just about the way that you want it, but there is always going to be some aspects that are out of your hands.

SO. I'm riding the river.
Riding it to California.
This morning I cancelled my return flight to New Jersey from Seattle, and instead I will be leaving tomorrow for Santa Barbara, California. I'm going to stay for one week, a few days with my friend Jbird in Santa Barbara County and then a few days in L.A. with my Auntie D.

So for all of you out there fighting the currents, you just gotta flow with the way the water is taking you.

Mojito MmMm

I had the most delicious mojito of all time last night at this great little bar, Zig Zag.
It hit the spot.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Tom Robbins "The Genius Waitress"

My friend Julie reads a lot, and we have a similar taste in authors. So I have been super excited about a recent author she has introduced me to, Tom Robbins. He is actually from Seattle. I just started one of his novels, but I have been reading short stories from his book "Wild Ducks Flying Backward". One story that really made me smile was "The Genius Waitress". I have waitressed all my life, and I feel like this story was spot on. I hope that you enjoy:

Of the genius waitress, I now sing.
Of hidden knowledge, buried ambition, and secret sonnets scribbled on cocktail napkins; of aching arches, ranting cooks, condescending patrons, and eyes diverted from ancient Greece to ancient grease; of burns and pinches and savvy and spunk; of a uniquely American woman living a uniquely American compromise, I sing. I sing of the genius waitress.
Okay, okay, she's probably not really a genius. But she is well-educated. She has a degree in Sanskrit, ethnoastronomy, Icelandic musicology, or something equally valued in the contemporary marketplace. Even if she could find work in her chosen field, it wouldn't pay beans- so she slings them instead. (The genius waitress is not to be confused with the aspiring-actress waitress, so prevalent in Manhattan and Los Angeles and so different from her sister in temperament and I.Q.)
As a type, the genius waitress is sweet and sassy, funny and smart; young, underestimated, fatalistic, weary, cheery (not happy, cheerful: there's a difference and she understands it), a tad bohemian, often borderline alcoholic, frequently pretty (though her hair reeks of kitchen and bar); as independent as a cave bear (though ever hopeful of "true love") and, above all, genuine.
Covertly sentimental, she fusses over toddlers and old folks, yet only fear of unemployment prevents her from handing an obnoxious customer his testicles with his bill.
She doesn't mind a little good-natured flirting, and if you flirt with verve and wit, she may flirt back. Never, however, never try to impress her with your resume. Her tolerance for pretentious Yuppies ends with her shift, sometimes earlier. She reads men like a menu and always knows when she's being offered leftovers or an artificially inflated souffle.
Should you ever be lucky enough to be taken home by her to that studio apartment with the jerry-built bookshelves and Frida Kahlo posters, you will discover that whereas in the public dining room she is merely as proficient as she needs to be, in the private bedroom she is blue gourmet virtuoso. Five stars and counting! Afterward, you can discuss chaos theory or the triple aspects of the mother goddess in universal art forms- while you massage her swollen feet.
Eventually, she leaves food service for graduate school or marriage, but unless she wins a grant or a fair divorce settlement, chances are she'll be back, a few years down the line, reciting daily specials with her own mixture of warmth and ennui.
Erudite emissary of eggs over easy, polymath purveyor of polenta and prawns, articulate angel of apple pie, the genius waitress is on duty right now in hundreds of U.S. restaurants, smile at the ready, sauce on the side. So brush up on your Schopenhauer, place your order- and tip, mister, tip. She deserves a break today.
Of her, I sing.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Day 8

I went to Seattle's Arboretum (translates literally to "tree place"). I walked all over the place, through the Botanic Gardens and the Japanese Garden. I walked for about 4 hours. I fed some cute little ducks that followed me for about a mile, found some peace in the Japanese garden, and smelled some gorgeous flowers that were along the trail. It was definitely chilly today, but atleast the sun was peeking through and the rain stayed away. After that I walked through town and ended up at a Japanese restaurant for some lunch. I had miso soup, two sushi rolls, and some Genmai Cha (my FAVORITE, toasted brown rice green tea). Sleepy and full, I found my way to a bus and headed back to Julia's house. I got home and cuddled with Shimo (the cat), sipped some tea, and recorded some more songs for my YOU TUBE. Today I added Fell First, Bigger Than Me, and Louis Armstrongs "Saint James Infirmary".

I'm getting ready to head BACK into downtown Seattle to meet up with my friend Noele. Noele is a Canadian that I met while I was in Costa Rica. We stayed in touch, and when she found out that I was visiting Seattle she said that she would hop a 2 hour boat ride and head down to see me!! So we will be going out on the town for some cocktails and I HOPE some dancing.

Noele and Me @ Tortilla Flats in Costa Rica, March 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Night 6 and Day 7

So after I planned my trip through Rome, Adam and his friend/roomate/bandmate Rory picked me up @ Julia's and we headed for ALKI BEACH. Adam, Rory, Carol and Kelly share a GORGEOUS apartment that overlooks alki's beautiful scenery (see photo above). It's the perfect spot in Seattle, in my opinion. You can throw a rock into Puget Sound from their porch, there is a bike path, walking path and beach to launch your kayak. It has the small town vibe, think Rhode Island beach town meets the North Shore. All the businesses are cute little bungalows that have been there for a looonnng time. ANyways...I will get back to those details after I give you all the exciting news about our evening.

There is never a dull moment with my friend Adam. Never. He is a crazy man. We all loaded into the truck and headed to the Red Line for some cheap beer, and some cheap cheap bar food (I'm talking $1 apps). After that we headed to a WELCOME SNOW party thrown by the snowboard company K2. It was here that I had too many locally-brewed beers and met my new great friends, Kristen and Tre'. Kristen is a petite, beautiful girl with a kind smile and tons of great travel stories. She is one of those people that you instantly meet and want to be best friends with. Tre' is a bearded man who's eyes laugh (yes, they laugh). The second you get within 10 feet of him, you feel comfortable -- like you grew up next door to him. I spent a couple hours throwing back beers and exchanging travel stories with my new friends. Later, we hopped in Tre's car and headed BACK to the Red Line for the {eccentric} open-mic night. Adam rocked out with a badass rendition of louis armstrongs "saint james infirmary" as well as some bad-ass originals. A few others graced the stage and then I trumped up there. I sang Phil Phillips "Sea of Love", Bonnie's "Angel from Montgomery" and my new song "Two Words" (all of which you can watch me perform @ ). We had a fantastic laugh filled, dance filled, beer filled, friend filled evening. We headed back to Adam's cozy abode and passed out. This morning I woke up early, way before the boys (surprise suprise), and decided to go exploring. The walk was just what I need. A slightly cool breeze, but the sun so warm that I could walk around without a jacket on. And because everyone in Seattle is so damn friendly, ever person that passed greeted me with a smile and a "hello". Everyone was out. Strolling Alki Beach. I stopped into the Alki Bakery for an americano. It was delicious, and of course the girl behind the counter was Seattle Friendly (that's my new word for super super duper friendly people). I felt so content walking along the sea wall on my way back to Adam's. I've been meeting some wonderful people and experiencing some amazing things in the north-west. I'm so thankful for all of the kind, eccentric, interesting, and passionate people that I've met -- it's definitely motivated me. Seattle is a city of art, music, food, brewed beers and local wine. Organic food and canvas bags. Kayaks, dogs, and being outside as if it weren't raining at all. I've made more friends - genuine friends - during my week here than I have in the past 10 years in New Jersey. This is when I curse surfing. Cause (as my friend Jeff Pace put it), "Surfing has ruined my life". Ha. I love surfing, I love love love love love it so much, and that's the problem. Cause if it weren't for surfing, then I could live in Seattle. Or Rome. Or London. Or Vermont. But I can't. Because there aren't waves. But, I guess it's just one of those sacrifices that I'll have to make in life. I will be sure to visit Seattle more often though. I feel at home.

Tonight I'm getting all gussied up and going to dinner by myself. It's my new favorite thing to do. Go places by myself. Eat by myself. Shop by myself. Explore by myself. You meet more people, absorb more of your surroundings, and just EXPERIENCE more. But tonight I won't be totally alone. I'm going to eat at Julia's restaurant, La Medusa for some gourmet Sicilian food. She won't be able to sit with me, but after dinner she'll be close to done and we can sip some vino.

ANyways -- I hope that everyone is experiencing something great or meeting someone new. The world that we live in is a big place.

Love cailin

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Day 6.
4 days left.

I couldn't sleep last night, I kept having crazy dreams.
The kind of dreams that when you wake up, it takes you about 30 minutes to realize that what you experienced was not real, it was just in your head.
This makes for a groggy morning, a 2-cup-of-coffee kind of morning.
Julie works one of her crazy 14 hour days today. As well as tomorrow, and the day after that.
Gordon has his day "off", but not really, because he just left to go to Vios to do the ordering.
Check out his restaurant on Usually reviews are negative, but they got rave reviews.

I'm finally (physically) feeling better. No more coughing, no more fatigue, no more headaches. I'm very very thankful. Hopefully I will be able to meet up with Adam Price today, my great friend and old drummer. He plays in a band, The Bits of Knowledge. Check them out: He lives in Alki Beach, which is only a few minutes drive away from Julia's.

That's all for now. I'm going to read some books. Being at Julie and Gordon's is like living in a Library. A library that only carries cookbooks and travel books, but a serious library none the less. So far I have planned my trips through Italy, Bali, Spain and India. I wonder what book I'll open today...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

my life: food and music

I have been eating all day. And it's been glorious. It is 4:53 pm right now, and I'm on my 2nd glass of red wine.

I started the day with a Bialetti americano (duh), and some toast with cream cheese. But not just any cream cheese -- the most delicious cream cheese in all of the world. Local, organic and creamy. Fantastic. Then Julisa and I did DEBBIE. Debbie's "beach body" workout. It was a 75 minute workout dvd. I almost died...twice. So I sweated out my breakfast of toast and cream cheese...and then we went to the supermarket so I could load up for goodies for the day!! I grabbed:
-a bottle of Bohemian Highway red wine
-romaine lettuce (organic, of course)
-tomatoes (locally grown and organic, of course)
-cheese with chives and onion (local, obviously)
-gourmet salami stick (wooohooo spicy meat)
and some kick-ass ciabatta bread from a local bakery.
For lunch I had a salad with tomatoes and quinoa with a tahini dressing.
Through-out the day I have snacked on the cheese, salami, and bread dipped in gourmet olive oil. Which now brings me to the wine.

I figured that I couldn't have a day with zero productivity (after all, my host and hostess are both working 12 hour shifts while I lay around their house eating like it's my job), so I figured out how to use Mac's Photobooth. There is a video section, so I've been recording myself singing songs. Some covers, some new originals, all going on my YOUTUBE site. Hopefully they will make me famous so that music and food and blogging can REALLY be my job. Anyways, check out my youtube through-out the week.

Gotta run, my wine glass is getting empty and I only have one song up on youtube so far!!

Julie & Gordon

I'm so glad that I came to Seattle and got a chance to stay with my good friend Julie and her boyfriend, Gordon. Being around them has taught me what love could be, and should be.

Julie has had a boyfriend as far back as I can remember (we've been friends since birth, predestined by our parents friendship). Some were good, some were bad. So when she said that she had a new boyfriend in Seattle, and that they were buying a house together, I was skeptical. But rest assured, Julie and Gordon are the real deal. A perfect example. They have truly shown me the joy of love.

When they wake up in the morning, they always stay in bed for a few extra minutes to cuddle. And from the moment that they wake, they aren't just living their own day - they are living for each other. Whoever gets up first starts the ritual of coffee. Grinding, measuring, brewing and pouring. Gordon has been sick for the past few days. Super sick, had to go to the hospital kind-of-sick. THe next day (the day of my arrival), Julie found a note in her purse from him. He apologized for being a grump over the past week that he was ill, but he was so appreciative of all she'd done for him -- that he loved her, and then he thanked her for being his best friend. She got teary-eyed, but she told me that he leaves her notes rather often. Something that only takes a few seconds to do - but means so much to the receiver.

Everyday at 4:30 Gordon takes a break from work to walk around the block. Whether or not he has anything to "talk about" or "report" - he calls anyways to tell Julie that he's thinking of her, and that he loves her.

Julie does not make one decision based on her. Not one purchase, one move or one idea based just on her. Everything that she does (and this goes for Gordon as well) is based on how it will affect not only her, but how it will affect Gordon (emotionally, financially, physically). They are true partners.

Main Entry: part·ner·ship
1: the state of being a partner : participation
2: a relationship resembling a legal partnership and usually involving close cooperation between parties having specified and joint rights and responsibilities

Sure, there are a million guys in the world, and if Julie weren't with Gordon she could certainly find happiness and love in the arms of someone else - but that's the point. There is no need to love multiple men, when she has this one - someone she has vowed to share her life with: the good and the bad. Her partner in crime and laughter.

A couple came into Julie's restaurant the other night to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. Jules asked how they did it - what's the secret? The woman smiled and replied "Be nice. Just be nice."