not all who wander are lost.

Monday, August 5, 2013

MCM Day One Review

FEAR. Bah. What a sneaky bitch fear is! Gabrielle sums it up perfectly...

"Choosing loving thoughts over fearful delusions was a tough transition at first. It seems easy - who doesn't want to trade in fear for love? But giving up fear is like giving up sugar: they're both sneaky ingredients that hide out in almost everything. And just when you think you've got that craving under control, suddenly it rears its not-so-pretty head again. Releasing fear isn't for dabblers. It requires diligence and commitment. It requires you to become a full-on miracle worker."

Amen sister.

Today's fear that was most prominent had to do with teaching. I want to share what I wrote in my journal after this mornings class in Margate...

"Teaching new students in Margate who usually practice with Ari triggers my fear. I worry that my class won't be "physical" enough or will be "too spiritual". This makes me second guess myself and I move into a scattered, insecure place. I feel very vulnerable and judged, which makes me shut down. I fear that I am not good enough. Doubt triggers my fear. The feelings that come with this are insecurity and vulnerability...which affects my behavior by causing me to shut down on the inside."

There was more that I jotted down throughout the day, and I'm so thankful for all that everyone on the email list shared as well. Julianne shared....

"...and every time my alarm went off saying "I am willing to witness my fear," I was amazed that another hour had passed. I wrote "time moves so quickly," completely freaked that the day was moving like this, but later I realized that it was something positive that I could learn from. Time moves so quickly; I don't have time for fear."

Time moves so quickly; I don't have time for fear.

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