not all who wander are lost.

Sunday, November 3, 2013


Opening my heart in surrender to the Divine, moving with Faith that I am a beloved child of the Universe.
Faith (n)
1. Confident belief in the truth, value or trustworthiness of a person, idea or thing
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof of material evidence

My faith has been tested so much lately. Despite sticking to a strict diet for the past 6 months as part of my two year healing I woke up the other morning sick as a dog, with every symptom of my illness under the book. I was throwing up because I was in so much pain, and couldn't stop crying because I felt so defeated. My mom was so worried about me, demanding that I go to a specialist. No. Absolutely not. Call me crazy, but I have faith that this cleanse will work. I have to. Our thoughts become our reality, and if I start to entertain the thought of this not working then I truly believe that this will manifest as my truth. First thing this morning I hopped in the car and headed down to my Mom's house to gather up a few things that I needed for my trip to Mexico tomorrow. The drive gets me every time. First thing in the morning, just after the sun has risen and the bay is quiet - I can't help but to think of my Dad. We spent so much time on the water, and this is where I feel most connected to him. I cried and cried until I had to pull the car over to gather myself. Again - my faith being tested. Despite any sadness I feel, I have Faith that though my Dad isn't here anymore, that he is still all around me. I have Faith that he was able to experience the beauty that I was seeing all around me as I drove south this morning. Better yet, I have Faith that wherever he is, he is existing amongst a beauty so much greater than I can even imagine. And what other option is there? I simply refuse to believe anything less. Faith is like energy -- just because you can't see something doesn't mean that it isn't there. You just have a deep KNOWING, a deep TRUST, and a deep UNDERSTANDING - and this is faith.

Faith is the pillar of allowing yourself to surrender. Surrender, by definition, is "to cease resistance to an enemy". More often than not, WE are the enemy. So how do we get out of our own way, allowing all that IS to BE? Our insecurities, our ego, our to move past these? Ishvara Pranidhana. Ishvara Pranidhana is the 5th Niyama (There are 8 limbs that make up "yoga"...yamas, niyamas, asana, pranayama, pratyahara, dharana, dhyana, samadhi), and it means to "Surrender to God" or to "Surrender to a Higher Source".  This 'initiates a sacred shift of perspective that helps us to remember, align with, and receive the grace of being alive'. We start to cultivate this shift by embracing the concept of Ishta Devata. Yoga Journal writes...

The yogic concept of Ishta-Devata recognizes that we each have our own, personal relationship with and taste of the Divine and that this serves as a powerful means of yoga (unification) for us. In the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali refers to this inner presence of Ishvara as our foremost teacher (I.26). Through intimate listening to this voice within us, we begin to have a relationship with inner guidance in all aspects of our life. Ishvara pranidhana could be called "heartfulness" practice; it awakens our constant devotion to the Source of life and keeps our hearts open to the Divine in every moment, no matter what arises.

And so, despite the illness and sadness that I am experiencing at this moment - I have surrendered my heart and my body to the Divine, moving into this surrender with a deep, profound Faith...knowing that I am beloved child of the Universe, and that the Universe will take care of me now and forever more. Aho.

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