not all who wander are lost.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

ShitFuck and Florence.

I had a beautiful day, followed by a sad evening. I'm not sure when it hit -- maybe the Lululemon Trunk show? Maybe my delicious dinner at Clancys? Whenever it was, it hit me hard - and fast. I threw some money at my friend Erika and was quickly in my car and on my way home. I pulled over by Lake Magnolia (only a few miles from my house) and turned on my music...and I turned it up loud. Florence and the Machine "No Light, No Light" and "Shake it Out"...full blast, windows closed. I shut my eyes and felt the vibrations of the music pulse through my being. I listened to each song 3x before heading home and cuddling my mom. Loud music is so comforting to me, and in my car, windows up, I could feel each note in my chest. I went to bed feeling totally fucking defeated -- physically I was exhausted. Despite multiple meditations and yoga classes, spiritually and emotionally I was done. I barely slept, and woke up just as defeated as I had been when my head hit the pillow the night before. After my class this morning I had a parking ticket on my car. It seemed as if this shitfuck of a day would never end. But then I turned up my Florence again, and read Osho's thoughts about "choice"s and now I'm back to feeling alright. Beach + Beer + Mom + Loud Music = BLISS.

Physically and emotionally exhausted, I punished myself with a CrossFit WOD.
Hanging with my friend Erika and our darling Cali...who wanted a beer. 

Determined to get my mom out of the house, and get her to the beach, we set up a camp to protect us from the wind and sand. We sipped champagne and "pirate" port.
Osho says that you have a "choice" can choose Misery or Bliss. There was a story about his familys home. His father payed a contractor to build the family a house. He was a simple man, and while Oshos father was away, just days after it was built and just days before his family was to move in, the house fell down. Osho was devastated, but his father said "What a wonderful thing! What a reason to celebrate! You, me, your mother and your 10 brothers and sisters could have been in the house when it collapsed!! How lucky we are!!!". So today, despite this overwhelming sadness, I choose Bliss. I choose to celebrate Having my wonderful mother, despite losing my beloved Father.
Billy with the "catch of the day"....a dozen beers.

No comments:

Post a Comment