not all who wander are lost.

Saturday, June 25, 2011



    noun /glo͞o/ 
    glues, plural

    1. An adhesive substance used for sticking objects or materials together
    2. Doreen Callahan

We are a pretty tight-knit family, thick as thieves, but I promise you that the person behind us all is my mother. She is the glue that holds it together. Aside from having a brain tumor, my dad has had one major illness or procedure every other year since I was born {kidney stones, herniated discs, fractured skull, torn rotator cuff, etc. etc.}, and my mother has always been his nurse. My mom has always handled the bills for the house, the grocery shopping, among hundreds of other odds and ends that consist of owning a home and having a family. She was my personal chauffeur when I was a kid, and was constantly busy entertaining me {as well as my friends and neighborhood kids}. She never missed a school play, a piano recital, stage band concert, t-ball game, basketball game, volleyball game, field hockey game, spelling bee, student government event or surfing competition. The only problems that her and I have ever had have honestly been a result of her loving me TOO much, which is pretty alright considering the alternative...

She wakes up at 6am, gives my dad his medicine, and then tucks him back in. She comes downstairs and slices up his huge bowl of vegetables for his morning and afternoon juice. She sets out a coffee cup for him, with a spoon and agave nectar. She puts his morning supplements into a dish along with a note telling him the date, the time of the high tide, along with some reminders about what lies ahead for the day. Then she works her ass off, ALL DAY, grooming dogs - only stopping to check on my dad, give him supplements or antibiotics or help him get a meal together for himself. Her time off inbetween dogs is spent researching things about nutrition considering brain tumors, talking to doctors or nurses, or taking care of health insurance nonsense. Then she makes us an epic, super healthy and delicious dinner.

I haven't been working too much since I've been back -- not like in years past. I was a bit pissed about how my schedule worked out at the restaurant at first, but now I feel it's a blessing. I felt like it all worked out as it should so that I could spend more time with my family and I'd be able to be home and help out around the house and with my Dad. Taking him out on the boat, making his juice in the morning, making him breakfast, and keeping the house tidy. Well - after an amazing morning I went out for a surf and seriously fucked up my knee. I have a full leg brace and crutches - and now my mom is nurse not only for my father, but for me as well. She had to help me in and out of the bathtub, up the stairs, and has been delivering me beverages and food. I'm devastated - I'm hoping that this is a strain and not a tear in my work, unable to help around the house, and just adding to my mothers "to do" list. My dad and I keep apologizing for needing help...I finally understand how he feels. You want to do things by yourself - you want to ask the least amount as possible from those that you love - but sometimes you just need to accept it. And my mom is not complaining - she actually yelled at both of us tonight for apologizing. I don't know if any of you have ever been put in your place by my mother - but that woman is NO JOKE and when she tells you to do something, you don't disagree with her.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is that the ship would be sinking without my momma. She stays tough for my Dad and I when we are weak - and even though she's scared and upset, you would never know it - because right now she's holding all of us on her back. And this very moment, she is LITERALLY carrying me on her back. Thanks Mom for being the glue that keeps us together, we'd be lost without you. I love you.

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