Awareness.

Nicoles amazing (and freaky) yogi toes.

Playing with Puppies at the Beach.

Sushi Ocean View...the best. Black Dragon Roll (+cream cheese) and Cailin Roll. Boom.

Bill @ Dead Dog making us some "HEROS"

...and then a proper Guinness.

The one thing I've really been focusing on lately has been awareness. Awareness about my relationships, awareness about my intentions, awareness about my emotions, awareness about my body. When I recognize that I'm sad, I figure out where the sadness is coming from and how to respond to it. Sometimes it's the type of sadness that just needs a good cry, and sometimes it's a sadness that just needs a hug from a good friend, a little bit of yoga, and some sunshine. Yesterday- that was the type of day that I just needed to be out.

In my first yoga class of the day I had Nicole, Sue Webb, Michelle, and one of my favorite summer students- Gene. Classes lately have been quality over quantity, and we have gotten to go into a deeper practice than id be able to teach with one of the summer classes (25people!). Nicole has the most freakish "yogi toes" ever, and yesterday I finally captured it on film...

After yoga I headed to the beach for some sunshine...and puppies!!! Bridget was on sumner with her husband and her dog Barley, and then my cousin Jenny came down with her 3, and the sand started flying as the pups swam, played, wrestled and chased the ball. I was in and out of sleep as I laid in my beach chair- moving between contentment and anxiety...with all of dads funeral stuff going on I am just a bit on edge.

Taught yoga class #2 at 4pm to another small but epic group of friends. So many people have asked me how I'm Back to teaching already, but I'd lose my fucking mind if I didn't have this to keep me grounded. Nancy came with flowers, Nicole with chocolates, Gene with gift certificates, Jeannie with a necklace...I've been bombarded with cards and hugs and delicious granola. The yoga community is a *compassionate* community and their support is some powerful stuff.

After yoga I grabbed some sushi with my cousin Jenny. It was great to just relax, enjoy, and laugh. We are trash-talkers from waaaaay back and we had each other in tears as we laughed over all the great times on Sumner ave in years passed.

Fast forward to later in the night and we are at the Dead Dog Saloon, my favorite bar. It was full of locals, and my corner of the bar was full of my favorite people. We ordered a round of "Heros" (see blog below) to toast to my dad, and I gotta say- if my dad drank that he would have said "This is a goddamn pussy drink- that's A LOT anti-Christ", which made us all laugh (and cry) a little bit harder. After sipping down the very-sweet ode to my father, I toasted to him with HIS favorite, a Guinness- or "mothers milk" as he always called it. After that I'd had my limit, I felt like tears were just a blink away so I switched to club soda. Megan Albrecht, Nicole and Phil, JOHNNY DIGENNI, my beautiful Lorraine, Mama Madge, my cousin Jenny, the Mahers (Christian, Jim and Kate), Megan and Tully, Marie....quality people, who's hugs and love and laughter were just what I needed.

Played two songs with Christian but my heart wasn't in it- so I packed it up, said my goodbyes and headed home for bed. Today people start filtering in and flying in for the funeral, and though I hate the reason she's coming, I'm so so so fucking insanely grateful that my best friend Julia is arriving today.

Moving and loving and laughing with awareness.

Captain Callahan

Our good friend Iggy keeps an amazing blog, After Hours With Iggy. He is a chef and avid fisherman, as well as a man who loves his cocktails -  and he is always posting great stories and recipes. Yesterday he wrote a blog about my Dad, and he really hits the nail on the head.....

He writes:

This has been a year of loss for me, and many in South Jersey.  This past weekend, one of the more large than life characters I have had the pleasure of knowing has passed.  His name was Paul Callahan and he was known and loved by many.  There are so many stories running around in my head, and so many things to say, but for once, Paul has got me, I just cannot put into words what his passing means to me.  If ever there was somebody I thought was going to outlive us all, if there was someone I would have voted for that was going to enjoy their retirement more than anyone, it was this guy.  He hunted and fished for a hobby, and grew up on commercial fishing boats, so he knew a thing or two about those two subjects.  His most famous saying was “Kill em and eat em” .  Let me tell you, to a chef, those words were music to my ears when he and his wife Doreen would throw parties at their house.  He did everything South Jersey style (hunt fish, surf,ect) but with more flair and working knowledge than anyone else, and don’t try to tell him different.  Not enough birds to shoot on a hunting trip.  No problem, I’ll raise them and then let them loose into the wild and then go hunt them.  No waves today because of the way they are breaking out on the tip of the Jetty?  No problem, I’ll just row my kayak out there and take advantage of the Striped Bass feeding out there.  Want fresh pig for the parties, I know how to raise, kill, butcher and cook them better than those services that come and  bury them in your yard.

This is an attitude that I can get behind.  Why rely on others when you can so it yourself, and do it better.  One of the reasons I became a minister.  When old Paul there found that out (his daughter, 15 at the time, told him she wanted me to marry her.  She meant do the ceremony, but let me tell you, I had a lot of fun with that one at Paul’s expense for awhile) he took to calling me the Anti Christ.  Little did he know that his wife would enlist me to renew their vows two years ago.

I can still remember the day I went over Doreen’s and Paul’s house and was told that a tumor was found in his head.  He had whacked himself with a surfboard and some wax had gotten lodged into the wound and gotten infected.  When they x-rayed his head to find out what was up, they found that ugly fucker in there as well.  No one I knew other than the Callahan’s even entertained the thought that it could have been serious.  And at the time, it was not, it was benign, but they wanted to keep an eye on it.  Well long story short, eventually it wasn’t benign.  Doreen said it best, he wasn’t dying form it, he was living with it, and live with it he did.  He did everything to the fullest until he couldn’t, and that is the way Paul Callahan rolls, and we should all take a big lesson from that.

So what do I say to remember him by?  That his parties were awesome, they were.  That he could surf like a champ?  Anyone who says that South Jersey doesn’t get any waves never saw Paul charge Hurricane surf in Cape May.  That he was a great hunter?  Look on his facebook page to see all the deer.  I will always remember the day we were in a surf contest and he was waxing “STAND HERE” on the nose of his board.  With three fishing sharpies gone this year (Bill Nickerson, Doc Adams, and now Paul) the fish population should skyrocket in Jersey, let me tell you.

So what to do to toast the man the myth the legend?  A drink called the old salt?  Well, unfortunately Capt. Paul left us far before he could get old, so not that one.  I am going to have to say the HERO COCKTAIL.  Why? Well because anyone who did anything dangerous first on our beach was called the “hero” and Paul go that title a lot.

THE HERO

1/3 oz coconut rum

1/3 oz peach schnapps

1/3 oz triple sec

1 splash of grenadine

1 cup of pineapple juice

Layer in a tall zombie style glass filled with ice and top with pineapple juice.  Stir, drink until you kill em and eat em.

Obituary and Such.

Dads obituary was in today's paper. Mom and I were so overwhelmed with writing it that we forgot to send a picture in. I think this one would have been fitting. Several people have been confused about what a "visitation" is....it's a viewing, but without the body. Also, dads service at the Whitebriar begins promptly AT 9am on Tuesday. Hope to see you there.

Dads obit read:

Paul J. Callahan The man, the myth , the legend. Born to John and Margaret Callahan on 8/11/56 . He died on 9/9/2012 way too soon. He had lived a life full of love and adventure. He was one of ten children. He had 7 sisters, Thomasine, Mary (deceased) ,Cissie, Kate, Nellie,Kelly and Megan and 2 brothers Michael and Sean. He was loved by them, their spouses and their children. His wife Doreen and daughter Cailin were the center of his universe. He was very competitive and sought "World Domination" in hunting,clamming,crabbing, fishing ,and surfing, He loved gardening and raising animals.He could do just about anything he put his mind to. He had his US merchant Marine 100 ton, 100 mile Ocean Operators license. He had worked as a clammer, commercial fisherman and ran sport fishing boats.He was a member of the Strathmere Fishing and Environmental Club. He was a Nate certified HVAC technician for SJI. He had a larger than life personality that touched everyone he met.He will be sorely missed by all. We will have his Visitation at the Stone Harbor Golf Club 905 Rt 9 North CMCH , NJ 08210 on Monday Sept. 17th from 6-9PM and we will celebrate his life in a Memorial Service at The Whitebrier 260 20th Street Avalon,NJ 08202 at 9AM Tuesday Sept 18th. In lieu of flowers everyone please bring a story or memory that you have of Paul and drop it in the basket when you sign our guest book.

Soaking up the Sunshine.

My friends know that "cailins" are a way to bring a smile to my face...

Yesterday Mom. Meg McD, Bridget, Megan Albrecht and I enjoying some sunshine, some cocktails and some quality time together. We decided to have his service at the Whitebrier and we were just testing out the venue. 

Sumner Avenue Love. 

Mikes Seafood. Save A Chicken, Eat *Fried Clams*.

I started off my morning cuddling in bed with my Mom. Then I headed out for my first yoga class in a long time. It felt great to be a student and to practice alongside some very special people, under the guidance of my love, Ari. After class I met friends on Sumner Avenue, my family's beach in Strathmere. The beach was desolate, the waves were small, and the sunshine was bright. It was the most beautiful day and I was grateful for all that came my way. We drank some cold beers (thanks Bridget), practiced inversions in the sand, caught some fun little waves in the line up, and played with the dogs (Paisley, Bailey, Murphy, and Barley) all day long. Sunburned, buzzed, and completely happy - we headed to Mike's Seafood, me and my Dads favorite restaurant, for some food. All the guys there were so sad, offering up kind words, hugs and fried clams. We laughed and reminisced, we drank and ate. Life is good and I am grateful for the days bounty. Love you Dad. 

Beautiful Day.

My cousin Jenny, one of the many people who dedicated their surf yesterday to my Dad. You can't help but to feel connected to his spirit when you are in the water.

Ceceila came to sit at our beach, with my Dad's summer favorite : Fried Chicken and Corona , to reminisce about what a great man he was. 

Sumner Ave Love. 

"The Captain grew tired and let go the sails, 

stayed the winch and oiled the rails, 

looked to the east and let the ship go

The Son of Neptune, in the morning tide's flow

must leave us now...and we must let him go."

My Aunt Kate (one of Dad's SEVEN sisters) wrote this and posted it on facebook yesterday. It really was touching and I wanted to share it with you all. They called my Dad the Son of Neptune, and my mom had even had it inscribed on his wedding ring. Back to the sea he goes...

Rochelle, keeping us well fed with her delicious meals. Food is the way to our heart, and thank you Rochelle (And Karen and Bill Barlow) for the delicious, nutritious meals that have been sent our way. 

Mom and I woke in the morning and weren't quite sure what to do with ourselves. Usually I would make his juice and get his breakfast ready while Mom would give him a shower and get him dressed. So we came downstairs and enjoyed the silence for a bit (we had quite the packed house at 2 oclock in the morning). We cooked up a bunch of bacon in Dad's honor and had a huge breakfast. And then the friends started coming, which we needed.  My mom needs to stay busy, so she was shocking the pool, covering the pool, cleaning the hot tub, moving outside furniture and chopping down our cherry tree. She was giving out orders to Dad's friends, who were also happy for the busy work. Everyone channels their sadness differently, and mine is certainly NOT through doing chores (sorry Mom). I walked three circles around the house, crying my eyes out, before I threw my board in the car and said goodbye - headed for the beach. The water is somewhere that I have always shared with my Dad. Whether it was fishing, clamming, crabbing, tubing, surfing, minnowing, or just enjoying - salt water is our thing. I paddled out and was grateful that there was no one in the lineup that I knew....I had only slept a little over an hour, and my eyes were nearly swollen shut. I took it all in, working on one of the nature meditations that I read in an Osho book. I took in the smell of the salty ocean, the crisp clean scent of the cool breeze, I felt the sun beating down on my face and warming my whole body and I felt the warmth of the water on my skin. And as sad as I had been, and as sad as I wanted to be - I could only feel happiness and extreme gratitude. Gratitude to have been able to love such an amazing person, and to be loved in return. Gratitude to have been able to learn from him and to be shaped by him - he is so much a part of me, and in the water I really felt that. My cousin Jenny paddled out after a bit, her eyes just as swollen - and we hugged and laughed and shouted "LEFT RIGHT", and all those other ridiculous things my Dad would shout when he was in the line up. Our sadness transformed to laughter, and I knew that everything was going to be okay. Thank you Dad for the most beautiful Day, the most perfect waves, and for the eternal, all-encompassing, forever-kinda-love.

Goodbyes and Guinness.

My dad passed this morning a little after 1am. All of our prayers that gave him strength to live these past two and a half years are what helped him to have the strength to leave. Mom and I sat with him for a while before Joe King came over - his best man, and best friend. We put on some music and then the three of us toasted to him and his beautiful life with an ice cold Guinness. It was a good run, a damn good run.

Captain Paul J. Callahan

8/11/56 - 9/9/2012

Long day.

A little bit of yoga adds a lot of comfort. Grateful for Viparita Karani which helped me to relax for the first time in the past few days. 

RoRo cooked up some breakfast quinoa, lemony carrot farro "risotto", and a spicy Dal  soup. 

Well this is certainly not the easiest thing that I've ever gone through. One minute I feel acceptance and peace, looking at my Dad and holding his hand. And then the next moment I'm dry-heaving and the tears won't stop. Today was a long day. I don't think that my mom and I have had a chance to really decompress at all since arriving home from the hospital. It's all happening so fast, and is so intense...my head is just throbbing. Dad is not there for the most part, all that seems to remain is his body -- and his body is working so hard and is so tired, it is a horrible thing to witness. We are working with our nurses now to bump up all meds so that he can breathe better and be as comfortable as possible. Most of you reading this know my Dad, and for those of you who don't - well, I'm sure that you've figured it out by now...Paul Callahan is one of the most, if not THE most, vibrant human being you'll ever encounter. He is so very alive, and loved so very much by everyone around him. I hate to see him in these conditions, and the few times I've closed my eyes today I've sent out a prayer that he passes soon. I want to remember my Dad as he was these past 25 years...a larger-than-life, kill-em-n-eat-em, nosewalking, trashtalking MAN.

I taught a class this morning, which I was very grateful for. It was nice to get out of the house for a bit, get out of my head -- to sweat it out and shout it out and yoga it out until I found some peace. I had to give a massage after the class to one of my favorite clients, Lou. Lou is married to my darling Penny, and both of them have been a blessing and a source of love in my life. Lou is an avid fisherman, particularly fresh water fishing, and more specifically - salmon fishing. We always chat for a bit about being in the water and being in nature before (and after) the massage. Today he brought me a present: a rock. Years back while fishing in upstate New York, Lou kept seeing a glimmer in the water admist all of the dull rocks. Eventually he scooped it up and it was a beautiful rock (granite? crystal?). He has held on to it for years and it has brought him "good things". Today he passed the rock on to me and said that he hoped the stone brought me the same good fortunes it had to him. I'm not your average girl - I don't like diamonds, I could care less about jewelry and fancy things -- and this rock, well - it was the perfect gift. And this damn rock had me crying the whole way home as I clutched it in my palm. Thank you Lou for sharing something with me that you've held so close. Thanks to EVERYONE for sharing with us: your love, your positive thoughts, your FOOD (and a special thanks to Rochelle for the delicious NUTRITIOUS goodies and to Katie Trainor for the epic homemade organic granola), and everything that we have been showered with. Say a prayer tonight for my mom, and one for my Dad that this be a smooth and peaceful transition into his final voyage....

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

 -- A.A. Milne, Winnie-The Pooh

Home.

Danielle, Margaret and Dad....the Dream Team.

Edward, Bella and Me. My best friend Julisa lives on the west coast but she  always makes me smile with a twilight cut-out. 

Terri teaching me and Mom how to administer medicine. 

And now we are home. Hospice is all lined up and we are set for Dad to pass in the comfort of his home. Mom and I were taught by the hospice nurse today how to give him his medication and now we are just counting the days. Thank you to the "dream team" (Margaret and Danielle) at HUP for the amazing care that they gave to my father. It is rare that a nurse cries for a patient, and the beautiful truth is that there have been many tears shed for my father at HUP. Thank you again to everyone who offers up their constant love and support. 

Friends.

Life is challenging- even if you try to avoid pain or conflict, there are obstacles that you will encounter more often than not. There is a quote that says just because you're a vegetarian doesn't mean that a bull won't charge at you- just because you're kind doesn't mean that the world is going to treat you kindly. No matter how righteous of a path you may lead, no matter what "plans" you've made for life...Life sometimes has other plans for You. And this, this is why we have friends. The people who laugh with you during the good times, cry with you during the sad times and just sit with you when you need to sit. My family and I have been blessed with an amazing bunch of friends who love and support us. As we sit in the hospital now we have friends prepping the house for hospice and our return, we have people checking in and bringing flowers and cooking meals and saying prayers. I have received countless emails, Facebook messages and texts offering up kind words and love- thank you thank you to everyone for that. Last night I had a packed room at Living Well for my Yin class (a room
Full of good friends) and we all enjoyed food and cocktails at Steve and Cookies afterwards. This morning I had only one person at my 7am, and it just so happened to be my friend Marie - who brought us coffee and scones. We sat in the dark room with the faint shining of the twinkle lights, listening to beautiful music: I cried, we laughed, we did a bit of Yin yoga and it was just what I needed. Back in Philly now with my family. My Dad opened his eyes and looked at me for a few seconds before going back to sleep...and now, little moments of recognition like that are precious.

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together- keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." --Winnie the Pooh

Sadness, Happiness and Espresso.

Osho says that in order to enjoy the good, you must also endure the bad- and the one helps you appreciate the other. 

"Experience life in all possible ways --
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light,
summer-winter. Experience all the dualities.Don't be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become."
― Osho

So despite all of the negative right now, I'm trying to focus on the positive. I am in love with the restaurant, Gia Pronto, that's in the Perelman Cancer Center (currently we are across the street at the hospital, but it's well worth the walk). It has deeeeelicious, decently-priced (considering that we are in a hospital) food. They also have epic coffee. Just when I thought that I knew all there was to know about coffee, I've discovered a new way to enjoy espresso-- the Cortado. I get a double...it's espresso with a bit of steamed milk and a *touch* of froth. It hits the spot and wakes me up without making me jittery, and is creamy but doesn't fill me up. So as I sit here in sadness, watching my Dad in-and-out of sleep- I sip in a bit of happiness with my cortado in hand. Finding the balance. We are here for two more days as hospice (along with the help of our good friends Joe King and Billy Herr) prepare the house for our arrival home. I'm sure that we will be having lots of visitors once we are home, and I'll be sure to have espresso and milk close by to have handcrafted cortados for all our friends....

"Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That's its balance."
― Osho, Everyday Osho: 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now

The roman catholic priest just came in and gave dad his final rights. I was surprised that I remembered The Lords Prayer (I'm a CCD dropout), and on that note I need to remedy these tears with some of my beloved caffeine.

The Lords Prayer:
Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

And so the time has come...

We came up to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania today to get an MRI and to meet with our doctor, Dr.Arati Desai. She didn't have very good news, but [unfortunately] we weren't expecting any. She told us that his tumor is growing, and that we now will be stopping chemotherapy as well (we stopped Avastin about two months back). His body and his brain have just had enough. So we talked about how to handle the ending of his [beautiful] life. At this point comfort is all that we are concerned with. The pain in his throat, jaw and face could very well be caused by a blood clot, but to operate at this point would be a waste, and we don't want to cause him any more discomfort. He has been admitted to the hospital to be hooked up to an IV of antibiotics and so we can meet with pain specialists as well as a doctor who will help us arrange for hospice care. We should be home in two days (I'll still be driving back and forth to teach yoga- it's the one thing that keeps me grounded and the sadness at bay), and when we get home hospice will be helping my mother, myself and my aunt nellie to care for him. Dr.Arati Desai and Dr.Kelly Guld have been very helpful in breaking down how the end will come, and how to handle it. Hospice is in line to help treat the *pain* (no longer the symptoms) and to ease your way, peacefully, into your passing.

We have all known the inevitable was approaching, but fuck does it hurt to say out loud. Thank you everyone for your love, support and prayers over these past two years- and keep em coming, it's not over til it's over...

"Fare you well, my honey, fare you well my only true one.
All the birds that were singing are flown, except you alone.

Going to leave this brokedown palace,
On my hand and knees, I will roll, roll, roll.
Make myself a bed in the waterside,
In my time, I will roll, roll roll.

In a bed, in a bed, by the waterside I will lay my head.
Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.

River going to take me, sing sweet and sleepy,
Sing me sweet and sleepy all the way back home.
Its a far gone lullaby, sung many years ago.
Mama, mama many worlds Ive come since I first left home.

Goin home, goin home, by the riverside I will rest my bones,
Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.

Going to plant a weeping willow,
On the banks green edge it will grow, grow, grow.
Sing a lullaby beside the water,
Lovers come and go, the river roll, roll, roll.

Fare you well, fare you well, I love you more than words can tell,
Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul." --Jerry Garcia

Happy Birthday Nellie.

Nell, Kate and Dad back in the day.

So many candles that she almost caught on fire....

Happy Birthday to my Dad's "Irish Twin" (only 10 and a half months apart), my Aunt Nellie. She has been a blessing having around the house, and aside from my mother, she is the only one that my Dad feels comfortable around (as far as care-taking goes). She has MS and has some pretty rough days, but you wouldn't know it because she's always here cleaning dishes, helping dad, and just doing anything that needs doing around the house.  We love you Nellie, thank you for all that you do! Happy, Happy Birthday.

Long Day.

Mom and Dad. 

Last night we had to take my Dad to the ER because of his throat. I was laying down in one of the chairs, eyes closed, somewhat dozing-off, when I caught the whispers. The conversation went:

Dad: "You're the best"
Mom: "YOU'RE the best"
Dad: "No....I'm not. I have nothing. I'm sorry."
Mom: "That's not true. If I'm the BEST, then you must be pretty great too - or else I wouldn't have picked you. You make me better, and I make you better."
Dad: "Yeah....... I love you."

It went on along these lines for a while. Beautiful and heart-breaking all the same. We eventually got discharged and got home late late at night, just in time for me to catch a few hours of sleep before beach yoga...

Beautiful full moon.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; 

Don't go back to sleep. (Rumi)

Susan and Eileen.

Beach yoga was a bit overcast at first, but I was grateful for the beautiful cool breeze. Also, I had the most quality bunch of yogis who were an inspiration to push through my sad and tired funk. 

After yoga I got home and we discovered a cute itty bitty baby bunny hiding near the woodpile, and even though he has probably been eaten by a cat between now and then, well - the cute little bugger made me smile. 

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves."

Tonight was my final night at singing at the Stone Harbor Golf Club. Long days, hard days, sad days...and then there are Sundays. Though I'm not always inspired at the end of the week to serenade the SHGC patrons, I always end up having a good time once I arrive. Love and Gratitude to my amazing SHGC family who feed me, love me, keep me wine glass full and who offer up prayers for my family and me on a daily basis. (Ruthann even stopped by the hospital last night with a SHGC bag of goodies, snacks and beverages!).

"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes." --Ee Cummings

You must ask for what you really want; Don't go back to sleep. (Rumi)

Tripods and Trash Talking

Jess, Final Day of Yoga. 

Michelle and I, taking in all of the Phillip Askew knowledge....

Phillip, in a crazy fucking headstand.

Erika and Me....smoochie faces, happy girls.

Yesterday was Jess McClanahans last yoga class....her and her husband are moving to maryland this week. Jess has been one of my core yogi's this summer and I'm sad to see her go. But it was an epic final farewell with some crazy rebel yells, kundalini breath work, sweaty vinyasa and a wild dance party to LCD Soundsystems "Dance Yourself Clean". Later that night I went to Philip Askews workshop on back bending and inversions @ the zen den. It was intense and super inspiring. Cried it out during savasana, and was glad to have Erika by my side who held my hand an just gave it a squeeze every once in a while. Thank god for yoga and friends. A perfect cap to the evening was a friends birthday party in Margate where Erika and I (as well as most of the party) had much too much to drink. Laughing, trash talking, and more laughter. Paisley drove us home and tucked us in and now I'm ready to conquer this holiday weekend. Boom.