Friends to FRIENDS.

Julia and I, a friendship evolution from babies to besties.

It's crazy the way it happens. When a friendship changes from one depth to another. 

My mom met Erin Biddle years and years and years ago in Strathmere. They were great friends, and remained so throughout the years despite Erin living in Colorado. Fast forward a bit and Erin has two kids, Kelsea and Ryan, and my mom has me. We have met up during the summers in South Jersey and have exchanged Christmas cards and phone calls. I was 'friends' with Kelsea and Ryan, but it was a friendship based on our familial ties - not a true bond. Well, I am grateful for the evolution. This past trip to Colorado we somehow moved from being family friends to having a wholesome, full, friends-forever-type-love. Feeling so very grateful for my short, but refreshing, jaunt to Colorado, and for the time spent with dear friends.

"What We Need is Here"

Geese appear high over us, 

pass, and the sky closes. Abandon, 

as in love or sleep, holds

them to their way, clear

in the ancient faith: what we need is here. 

And we pray, not for new Earth or heaven, 

But to be quiet in heart, and in eye, 

clear. What we need is here.

*Julia sent me this poem yesterday, and as she said, I feel like our 'here' is us together. 

DadDadDadDad

When I was a little kid and my Dad was out at sea, I would pick up the marine radio and say "DadDadDadDadDadDadDadDad". He said that the guys on the boat would shout, "Snapper, she's looking for you."

Well, I feel like that's what I've been doing lately, shouting "DadDadDadDad", waiting for a response. They say that if you amputate your arm, even though its gone, your body still believes that it's there. Like your body and your mind can't quite grasp that what was once there is no longer. That's how I feel right now. Like I'm looking at my amputated arm, seeing that its not there- but it FEELS like its still there and I can't quite wrap my head around it actually being gone. It's become quite the mindfuck. 

As silly as some may think it is, I love oracle cards. And I have been specific to not just but any deck, but only the ones that resonate with me. I have "Ask Your Guides", "Osho's Tarot", and "Spirit Guides". Well the other day, before we were heading out for Summit, Ryan, Paige and I picked a Spirit Guide card. The one that picked me was Pueo (Hawaiian Owl) which says "Your ancestral spirit guides are offering you guidance now, so pay close attention to signs and omens from them". In the booklet, it continues...

"You can receive guidance from your ancestors in the spirit world, no matter what their age or when they died. They're offering you help in many ways right now, so pay close attention to the signs they give you. This guidance can come to you in many forms, whether through your eyes, ears, feelings, or thoughts. Often a particular animal making an appearance before you is a way in which your ancestral guide is trying to reach you. You might hear something that makes you think of a specific ancestor, or simply feel their presence. 

Repetition is key here. In whatever ways your ancestors attempt to contact you, signs continue to show up that make you think of your deceased loved ones, know that these physical manifestations demonstrate that they're with you."

Obviously I got chills when I picked this card and read the meaning. I decided that one my way to summit and while I was up in the mountains that I'd try to move and be with more awareness than usual...

It happened when kelsea and I left early for chai. The cool morning had an auspicious feeling to it from the moment that I walked out the door. We got in the car and shortly after pulling out of the driveway there was a raven that flew alongside our car for the length of the road. I felt something as it flew alongside us, and was even more moved that a raven flew alongside the car upon our return home too. When I got back to the house I looked up the symbolism of the raven. 

The raven is not just a symbolism of death, but also of communication. Legend says that they are the ultimate oracle, and that they reveal omens and signs.  Moreover, the raven is a messenger too, so its business is in both keeping and communicating deep mysteries. They are the holder of ancestral memories. 

*Digest That For A Bit*

Yesterday when I was walking around boulder, just strolling, taking in the sunshine, and I picked up my phone and called my Dad. It wasn't intentional, obviously- as much as I struggle with it, I KNOW that he's dead, but it was just habit. Whenever I travel he has been the one I share my stories and adventures with. So I picked up my phone, called "Dad" for some random rambling and an "I love you", and was brought back to reality when I heard a lady saying"This number has been disconnected" over the line. It's just going to take some time I suppose, but I will take comfort in all the things around me that serve as a reminder that he is everywhere and inside of me, today and every day, and I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for any ravens that are cruising the skies....

Goodbye Boulder.

Tipping is good for your health : Atlas Purveyors

Laying in the grass, Plane in the sky. 

Burratta on toast with local herbs, tomatoes and olive oil @ The Kitchen. 

Digesting with Cortados @ Ozo. 

Last night was my final evening in Boulder. I started my morning with a Cafe Au Lait @ the Unseen Bean. This coffee shop is owned by a blind man who started roasting coffee out of his house, and now has a successful business, with the most delicious coffee. I mozied around town, read my book, mozied some more...soaking up the sunshine. Made my way down to Atlas Purveyors for some coconut oolong and then laid in the park for a bit and read my book some more. Emily finished up work and  met me at Shine a little after 1pm and we had a pint of their house-brewed Lager. Delicious. The conversation flows, and covers a broad range from family, food, and spirituality. Hungry, we headed to The Kitchen for a fancy and delicious lunch. Emily had the lamb salad, I had a grilled pork baguette, and we split a burratta appetizer and a bottle of Grenache. Everything at The Kitchen is sourced from organic, sustainable farms -- and in most cases everything is local. Good stuff, great service.

We were so full and a bit buzzed, so we walked next door to Ozo for Cortados. It was the first time I ever had a Cortado served in a glass instead of a paper cup - and I loved it!! So delicious. Fueled up and ready to go we went to REBECCAS APOTHECARY: be warned, this place is amazing. I spent over a hundred dollars on teas and herbs, and spent a ton of time talking with the (incredibly) knowledgable staff about lymes disease, joint pain, and candida. It was really eye-opening...I wish that we had a place like this back home....

A few blocks away, and we were at the Bitter Bar. We made it just in time for Happy Hours last call. Two margaritas. Again - the conversation was here, there, and then back again - and insightful and inspiring and full of love.

What to do after a long afternoon of beverages and a now-grumbling-tummy? Hot Dogs, obviously. Again, just a few blocks walk away and we were at MUSTARDS LAST STAND, an ancient institution around these parts. We ate and talked until they kicked us out and then it was home for bed and a movie. Something lighthearted and on the surface: Somethings Gotta Give. We giggled and sighed, it felt every bit like a grade-school sleepover.

Bags are packed and I'm headed to Denver now to meet an old friend for lunch before heading back East. I'm so grateful for my fun times here, and for Emilys amazing hospitality. This was the fuel that I needed to get through the upcoming cold months in Jersey. See you East Coasters soon....

Tall, Dark and Handsome.

I wake up early, no matter where I am. And so does Kelsea. We had cuddled in her bed so after spending a few minutes whispering we decided to head out for chai and let the youngn's sleep. She took the long way to the cafe so that I could see a bit of Summit. We stopped by the lake to take in the breathtaking morning views. It was a bit colder than I would have liked, but it was so beautiful that I didn't mind. We arrived at Blue Moon Cafe and sipped Bhakti Chai, and we chatted. And chatted. I have known Kelsea for decades, but haven't ever really known her. Well our morning was beautiful, and insightful, and what I needed. It's been fun laughing and adventuring and eating and drinking, but there is some heavy, deep, fucked up sadness that I have been pushing down - and Kelsea allowed me the time to let it all out. We talked about Dad a lot - she has spent a fair bit of time on the beach and in the boat with him, and she had just flown out to Jersey for his services. I talked about how I can't imagine ever getting over it, and that I'm okay with that. I miss him, and I think that I'll miss him every day of forever. We laughed with tears in our eyes, cried at times, and just spent some time digesting 'life'. Bellys full of Chai, we wiped our eyes and we headed back to the house to wake up Paige and Ry so we could start our day of fun.

The town of Dillon, in Summit. A crisp, cold morning in the mountains. 

All you need in life is a few good friends...

Always being the best hostess, we took the long way to Breckenridge so that we could take in even MORE unbelievable views. Kelsea, like Emily (and Ry and Paige), have been pretty aggressively trying to convince me to move out west. Love, love, love them...love, love, love Colorado....but hate hate hate the motherfucking cold. But it's flattering, so thank you. At the top of this path there was a ton of wildlife, which was entertaining to watch. Life is beautiful. 

I couldn't quite capture it, but there were about a hundred chipmunks, two dozen squirrels, and an insane amount of BlueJays...all running and fluttering around. Too cute. 

Oatmeal Stout is my favorite of Brek's Brews...and go figure, they describe it as TALL DARK AND HANDSOME...my kinda man. Boom.

...And so we made it to Breckenridge, and made our way right into Breckinridge Brewery!! I was in the market for some Oatmeal Stout - they make the best.ever. We ate burgers and drank beer until we had food babies, and then we walked it off as we strolled and bopped through town. Once we got home Ry and Paige napped, and Kels and I cracked out on the couch and watched AVATAR!! It was nice to just relax and not "do" anything. We said our goodbyes and then we were off, headed back to Boulder. 

Last nights Harvest Moon was the most beautiful moon that I have seen in all of my years. It seemed so close that you could reach out and touch it. This photo does it NO justice....

The sun went down just as we were pulling back into town, and as the darkness took over you could do nothing but be mesmerized by the nights Harvest Moon. It was just unbelievable. No picture, especially one taken on my iPhone, would do this majestic moon justice. I think it made us all feel a bit of something, because none of us talked - and then we pulled over to take it in. We rebel yelled at it, and then got back in the car and were off.

Had a mellow, nourishing night of vegetable Pho and conversation with Emily and a great nights sleep. Day 5, here I come...

Strawberry Hot Springs!!!

And finally we arrived at our destination!! The healing hot springs at strawberry park in steamboat. It was $10 entrance fee, and I would pay quadruple that if I had to--- it was ammmmazing. There were multiple pools, varying in temperature. The bottoms of pools were sand and pebble, and the air was just crisp and cold enough that it wasn't Too painful to get out and move from pool to pool. We soaked and laughed for several hours before we called it quits, mostly due to pruney hands and feet. As night fell we packed it up, had some pizza in town and then came back to summit and fell quickly to sleep. Life is good.

PURE EXCITEMENT.

The Beautiful HotSprings!

Enjoying the hot.hot.hot healing waters. 

Somehow we scored an epic hot private pool! 

Private Pool, Pruney Fingers. 

Steamboat

Anytime I see a pig, I think of Dad. Kill em n Eat em. 

Eating our sammys by the river. 

The hike was beautiful, and the abundance of Aspen trees were amazing. 

Hiking, Hiking. 

We scooped up Kelsea and then laughed all the way to Steamboat, which was about an hour and a half from Summit. She is one of the funniest people that I have ever encountered. Pulled into town and scooped up Sammy's and then sat by the river to enjoy them. We wanted to move a bit before soaking so we hiked a beautiful trail in town, which was full of beautiful trees with their fall colors. Kelsea said a week from now that all the trees would be bare, so I was feeling grateful for my perfect timing her in Colorado.

Loveland Pass

Ryans driving caused me a bit of anxiety as we drove up the loveland pass. Shortly after this I closed my eyes...

BRRRRf*ingBRRRRR. Breezy and cold at the top. 

Beauty from the top, Loveland Pass. 

Headstands in the Mountains. 

Loveland Pass. 

Half way to Summit, we stopped at Loveland Pass. The temperature drop from the main road was drastic and intense. The road winding up to the pass was pretty sketchy too, and with Ryan's driving I finally just closed my eyes, paralyzed. There's a beautiful view, and we trekked around to take it all in. And then, we were back on the road.

Pre-Mission Morning

Atlas Purveyors : that Mayan calendar is CHALK! 

Morning reflections...

"Comfort Coffee" : espresso, steamed milk, vanilla, cinnamon, agave. 

Moe's "Morning After" with coffee. 

Only the Best get Baked. 

Before we left for our adventure, we fueled up. A mission without proper caffeine and food is no bueno, so we started at Atlas Purveyors for coffee. It's Ryan's favorite, probably because they have an epic, endless amount of teas. He had coconut oolong. I opted for the "Comfort Coffee", simply because I was intrigued by the name. It was espresso, steamed milk, a touch of vanilla, cinnamon and agave. Super delicious and super "comforting". I especially loved that it was served in a glass and not a mug, and I loved their coffee sleeves to protect your hands from the heat, which were cloth on the inside and recycled coffee bag on the outside. Also, the chalk art on their chalkboard was unreal. Yes, that artwork is All Chalk!

For breakfast we stopped at the famous Moe's, who's slogan is "Only the Best get Baked". I had the "Morning After" (bacon, egg, cheese and smoked jalapeños) on an everything bagel and some more coffee.

And then we were off, Summit bound so we could scoop up Kelsea (Ryan's sister) and then make it to our ultimate destination, Steamboat....

Steamboat Bound.

Paige enjoying a rootbeer. 

Me enjoying a Brek Agave Wheat brew. 

After my mellow morning I headed to Ozo, on 11th and pearl, for a delicious hand crafted caffeinated beverage. I decided on a latte and then sat outside and enjoyed my Osho "Autobiography of a Spiritually Incorrect Mystic". The sun was super bright and the temperature was about 80 degrees, but the air was still that crisp, clean mountain air that I love. Paige met up with me for the afternoon and for lunch we toured some of my favorites: a taco at the taco stand on 13th, a salad at Shine and then a beer and a BLT (with French fries, obviously) at Salt. We made great friends everywhere that we went, but our server at Shine was particularly amazing...Josh. He talked with us for at least an hour- about food, food, food, and beer, and he even gave me free samples of all of the house-brewed beers. I said goodbye to Paige and took a class @ Om Time with "Jessica". The flow was just what my body needed and she even gave us raw treats after class (raw cacao, goji berries, shredded coconut, coconut oil, and cinnamon).

I spent some time with Emily and we picked animal spirit guide tarot cards and sipped tea. She had to work at 4am the next day so I left her to sleep and went out to dinner with my friend Ryan Biddle, his roommate Sage, and Paige. We ate at Sherpa, the Nepalese restaurant in town. It was epic. Back to Ryan's for conversation and such and then to bed.

Today Paige, Ryan and I head to Dillon to scoop up his sister and then we are Steamboat bound for the Strawberry Hot Springs!!!! Can't wait!