"Relationship...is the mirror in which you discover yourself. Without relationship you are not; to be is to be related; to be related is existence. You exist only in relationship; otherwise you do not exist, existence has no meaning. It is not because you think you are that you come into existence. You exist because you are related..." - J. Krishnamurti
not all who wander are lost.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Community.
"Relationship...is the mirror in which you discover yourself. Without relationship you are not; to be is to be related; to be related is existence. You exist only in relationship; otherwise you do not exist, existence has no meaning. It is not because you think you are that you come into existence. You exist because you are related..." - J. Krishnamurti
Friday, September 13, 2013
BiBimBop and ScrubADub
| Bi-Bim-Bop |
Labels:
bi bim bop,
korean food in NYC,
manna kitchen,
manna korean food,
nyc
Thursday, September 12, 2013
In the Water, Upside-Down
| This was what I posted for the mornings yoga class...and I had to keep reminding myself of this every time that I tried for the headstand on the unsteady board. |
| Slowly Slowly...Shanti Shanti. |
| Coaching my yoga student and good friend Quentin into a headstand... |
Monday, September 9, 2013
One Year
| Me, Mom and Dad on our Sumner Ave in Strathmere. |
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to. He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.
| Dad, In Ireland, enjoying "mothers milk". |
" life can only be understood looking backwards,
but must be lived looking forward".
By no strange chance, I have had encounters and interactions with several powerful and amazing women this week who also lost their fathers (when they were about my age). What I've taken away from all of these conversations is that I really owe it all to him....not only did he love me and make me who I am while he was here, but through his passing I have gone through a transformation that would not have taken place otherwise - a transformation that has empowered and enlightened me beyond my expectations. We all agreed that we would have our fathers back in a heartbeat if we could, but looking back - there is nothing but gratitude because that day forever changed the direction ahead. So, it's been a rough few days, and an emotional year - but looking back - I understand that everything happens as it should, and now I'm just living life looking forward. Life is beautiful, and I feel so grateful for all of It's blessings. Today I woke up feeling grateful that Paul Callahan was my Dad, which surprised me, because I thought that my first emotion would have been one of sadness that he was gone. And so I raise my pint of Guinness to a great man, he forever lives in my heart.
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my own familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Canon Henry Scott-Holland, Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral (1847 – 1918)
Friday, September 6, 2013
Lazy Day, the Lodge, and the Quest for Almond Milk...
| Day 6 of the #moveyoasana instagram yoga challenge |
| beautiful doorways in beautiful brooklyn |
| my love Rob, a kickass veggie burger (with a fried egg) and some tea @ the LODGE in BK. |
| Rob had this hanging up in his studio...and I love it. |
| Bye bye NYC. |
I meandered around the city the rest of the afternoon, searching out a cafe with almond milk. Hooray for The Bean in the east village that has a kick ass decaf "spiced" tea, almond milk, free wifi, comfortable seats and lots of plugs (to charge up your constantly-drained iPhone!). After my (non)-caffeine fix I headed to Robs for one final hug, then onto the subway and back to Jams place. Rachel was home and we got deep into conversation about the magic of India and then, exhausted from this blissful weekend, I passed out on the couch for a short sunset cat nap. I'm hopping into Jammie's truck now and we are headed back down to south jersey, just in time for the weekend to begin...
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Decaf Almond Milk French Lavender Latte
| A very sleepy JamieD, reading super rich...upside down. It was THAT type of morning. |
| JamDeezie and Me. |
| Upright Coffee...well worth the journey. |
| FINALLY! A place in NYC that has some fucking almond milk!! Hallelujah! |
| Jammie, Bling, and Iced Almond Milk Lavender Latter. Boom. |
Yes.
Decaf,
Almond Milk,
French Lavender,
LATTE.
Amazingness.
Godbless JamD for rolling her tired ass out of bed and driving us around on this wild goose chase for almond milk cafes in the BK. We were both delirious when we woke up this morning, we sipped some tea and had a few laughs in bed and then for our asses in grove so I could get my (non)caffeine-fix and Jam could get to work.
The verdict? Upright Coffee, for the most delicious latte. It was the best way to start a beautiful day that just continually got better.
Upright Coffee
Greenpoint, Brooklyn
860 Manhattan Ave
(between Noble St & Milton St)
Brooklyn, NY 11222
Wandering Yogini
| Eka Pada Koundiyanasana I |
| Natarajasana Variation @ Dharma Center, NYC |
| Utthita Trikonasana in NYC, Day 5 pose for #moveyoasana |
| Busting a headstand in Times Square |
| PILIN |
Subway Savvy
#MoveYoAsana
| Day 3 |
| Day 4 |
Monday, September 2, 2013
Tapas and Tea
| Perhaps the sight of deer skulls after meditation is a bit unsettling for most, but for me, seeing these warms my heart and reminds me of my main man..... |
I will preface our "tapas" talk with a bit of background information. First of all, there are eight limbs to yoga, "asana" (physical postures) only being one of them. They are...
1. Yamas (external code of conduct)
There are 5 Yamas: ahimsa (nonviolence), satya (truthfulness), asteya (nonstealing), brahmacharya (conserving energy, continence), aparigraha (noncoveting)
2. Niyamas (internal code of conduct):
There are 5 Niyamas: saucha (purity), santosa (contentment), tapas (spiritual austerities), svadhyaya (self study), ishvara pranhidana (surrender to god)
3. Asana (postures)
4. Pranayama (breath control)
5. Pratayhara (withdraw of the senses)
6. Dharana (concentration)
7. Dhyana (meditation)
8. Samadhi (enlightenment)
While in India, I actually worked my way through the Yamas and the Niyamas, embodying (and journaling about) each for a full week. It was such a great practice in awareness, and I highly recommend it to all of you as well! The Yamas and the Niyamas are the backbone of how I live my life, with each building upon the one before. Observing and living these in my daily life have shed so much light on so many things...I am so grateful. Anywho, TAPAS:
***************Tapas : 3rd Niyama (austerity, fiery discipline)*****
“Tapas” is one of the most powerful concepts in the Yoga Sutras. The word “tapas” comes from the Sanskrit verb “tap” which means “to burn”. The traditional interpretation of tapas is that it is “fiery discipline”. It is this discipline which burns off the impediments which us from being in the state of yoga. Another way to understand tapas is to think of it as consistency. One of the highest disciplines is that of consistency: getting on the yoga mat every day, sitting on the meditation cushion every day, observing the antics of the mind every day, forgiving your mate or your child yet another time. If tapas is considered in this vein, then it becomes a more subtle practice, a practice that is concerned with the quality of life and relationships, not just with outlasting some difficulty.
When we bring a commitment born of love to our consistent practice of yoga, we are practicing the niyama of tapas. It is with this spirit of abiding in the midst of difficulty which is at the heart of tapas. This is the spirit of tapas: the willingness to follow through with difficult decisions while maintaining compassion for all the effects that those decisions might have for self and others. Tapas is ultimately measured in the consistent willingness to begin practice again and again, over and over again to bring awareness to this very moment. (http://www.judithlasater.com/writings/livingtheniyamas2.html)
Tapas is the joyful willingness to do what is necessary to reach a goal with fiery discipline.
Tapas (austerity) refers to strength of character in resolute pursuit of yoga’s ultimate goal of the union of Self (Atman) and Brahman (God). The word “Tapas” translate as a spiritual purification or fiery discipline that burns away impediments that keep us from achieving our highest potential of Self.
Many have mistakenly practiced Tapas as self-mortification. Fasting, a meager diet, and other forms of extreme asceticism are not in alignment with our first, and most important, yama of ahimsa (non-violence). While the practice of austerities in moderation trains the will and develops body and mind, excessive asceticism and self-mortification has the opposite affect. Tapas is one of the most powerful practices in the Yoga Sutras.
The word “Tapas” comes from the Sanskrit verb “tap” which means “to burn.” The traditional interpretation of Tapas is a “fiery discipline” that is a fiercely focused, constant, intense commitment necessary to burn off the impediments that keep us from being in the true state of yoga (union with the universe).
Practice: Maintain a constant determination to pursue daily practices. Make sacrifices as necessary, but do not hurt self or other in the process. Be enthusiastic about the spiritual path. Be joyfulness with outer discipline as a means of refining a joyful inner discipline. Remember Tapas is a joyful willingness to do what is necessary to reach a goal with fiery discipline, it is not a punishment.
Tapas turns up the heat
Tapas is a practice of balanced austerity, sacrifice, and discipline. Tapas means “heat” or “fire.” Go through the heat and accept it – invite it in. Fire brings transformation while leading into stillness. If you are not in stillness, you are in craving or in aversion. In other words, you are suffering. Transformation happens through the fire with presence and persistency. As the layers of ego melt away, the truth of love shines through.
Tapas (Discipline vs Difficulty)
Unfortunately, many people mistakenly equate discipline in a yoga practice with difficulty. They see another student striving to perfect the most difficult poses and assume she must be more disciplined and therefore more spiritually advanced.
Difficulty does not make a practice transformational.
It is true that good things are sometimes difficult, but not all difficult things are automatically good. In fact, difficulty can create its own impediments. The ego is drawn to battle with difficulty. Even mastering a challenging yoga pose can bring pride and an egoistic attachment to being an “advanced” yoga student. This impedes or slows your progress. A better way to understand Tapas is to think of it as a non-attached consistency in striving toward your goals.
Ultimate practice of Tapas: Love yourself and your life exactly as it
IS. Change nothing, but move with more and more presence and
consistency. Be vigilant that your thoughts, actions and speech are
rooted in love. (http://www.gaiaflowyoga.com/2010/07/31/tapas-3rd-niyama-austerity-fiery-discipline-2/)
I begin Gabrielle Bernsteins "May Cause Miracles" 40 day affirmation and meditation series four weeks ago, and I haven't missed a day since I began - because I took it on as one of my tapas. Also as a tapa, I am doing the Kundalini kriya, "Ego Eradicator" every morning before I read the day's entry. After my morning breathwork, reading and meditation I head inside and begin my ritual: I boil water and almond milk with a cinnamon stick, fresh ginger, cardamom and green tea chai. I sit down, quietly sip and thoroughly enjoy my mornings cup of tea. Are there mornings when I'm fucking exhausted and would rather hit the snooze button? Absolutely. But I am choosing to honor the tapas that I've made, knowing that they are helping me to come into my highest self. One of my favorite parts of my morning tapas is that I have been practicing outside, in the same place, seated on the edge of our property, looking out over the grass and into the trees that my Dad planted around our home. It is this time in the morning that I feel most connected to him, when all is quiet and the world seems to be completely still. Sometimes I feel his presence in the breeze around me as I sit in meditation. Once he even sat with me in meditation. When I open my eyes I see the deer skulls from one of his last hunting ventures sitting outside in the grass, and I know that there must be more to life than this short existence that we are in. Whether he is in heaven, or just floating around on the breeze - his body has passed but his spirit is still here and all around.
I invite you all to take on a tapa for a week. And then add another week. And another. They say that it takes 40 days for true change to set in, for old patterns to be broken, and for new patterns to emerge. So perhaps you set it for fourty days. But be kind to yourself, and don't set yourself up for failure by setting some crazy insane goal. While in India my tapa began as one week of waking up and doing 3 rounds of uddiyana bandha followed by a one minute headstand. The next week I decided to add 3 rounds of U.B. followed by a minute of kapalabti and a 2 minute headstand. The third week it was 3 rounds of U.B., 3 minutes of kapalabati, and 3 minute headstand. So on, and so forth. It was a gradual increase and then at the end of 7 weeks I had powerful lungs, a killer headstand, a proud heart, and a still mind. Best of luck to you all. God Bless.
#MoveYoAsana
OCHS at OCZD
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." -ee cummings
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Cheetah
Cheetah.
I always have my oracle cards with me. There are two decks in particular that I am especially connected with, and at any given time I usually have one of them on me. In the Fall, one of my favorite things to do is to go to dinner at Steve and Cookies in Margate, and sometime throughout the night, pick cards with friends. The bartenders, servers, and owners are now very familiar with me and my eclectic ways...and though they all tease, they (not so) secretly love when the cards come out.
"Dumpster Diving" is the term that I use to refer to those who just dive in and pick a card. Obviously, the card that they pick is never appropriate for them or their situation. Duh. You have to *sit* with it for a bit. I either hold my hands above the cards, scanning for what feels best for me...or I shuffle the deck seven times and hold it to my heart before cutting the deck and selecting my oracle. It works best to really come into a clear mind and heart before carefully selecting a card, and it's even better to think of a question or request in your mind before picking.
To say that I have been in a transition state lately is an understatement. Ever since my dads passing nearly one year ago (it'll be one year on the 9th of this month...), my life has been nothing but a constant transition, transformation, and evolution of sorts. It has been such an exciting unfolding and I am so grateful for the journey. As most of you have read, I have recently decided to really step it up in the yoga department. Obviously this is going to be my life's path, and I feel as if it is my lifes work to share the bhakti in my heart and the knowledge that I have collected (and will continue to collect) from various teachers around the globe. I've set the intention and the ball rolling to create a website, several videos and podcasts, among other various treats to share via the world wide web. Before picking a card, as I sat with the stillness, I kept thinking of the guidance that I needed for this journey ahead. Sure enough, I picked the CHEETAH. It reads:
**************
Cheetah
"Get clear on your intention, stay focused, and move quickly to achieve your goal."
Stop deluding yourself by thinking that there isn't enough time, there are too many other things to do, or youre not up to the mission that's calling you to action. These and many other beliefs are delay tactics that keep you from accomplishing what you're here to do. It's much too easy to play it safe by staying caught up in the mundane dramas of life rather than honoring Spirit's purpose for you by making a run for it.
The first step is to write out your intention as clearly as possible. Keep it nearby and create an appropriate affirmation that you can repeat several times over the course of teh day - one that states your intention as if it has already occurred. Then write out a sequence of action steps that will help you move toward your ultimate goal. Don't be shy or hesitant to think big -- bigger than you've previously allowed yourself. Once you've set the wheels in motion by doing these steps, it's time to move -- not in some frenetic, hurried way, but steady and purposeful, designing much of your activity to support what you need to do.
In all this movement, once you've successfully achieved a significant piece, take a breathere and look back on how far you've come. Give yourself a pat on the back with each step that's accomplished as a way of acknowledging your progress. Go for it!
Associations:
Speed, Focus, Insight, Passion, Swiftness, Flexibility, Efficiency, Self-Esteem, Powerful, Graceful, Purposeful, Energetic, Sensuous, Accomplishment, Directness
**************
Today I am feeling POWERFUL and AMAZING. Boom.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)

