not all who wander are lost.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Community.

This morning was the last beach yoga of the season. I was sad to see it go, but the air was cold, the sand was like ice, and bundled up with hoodies and a beanie just barely kept us warm enough. I got a bit weepie when I was driving over the bridge this morning, watching the glorious sun rise. I truly don't know where I would be without this strong, supportive, beautiful community. We all lift each other up and challenge one another to be the best person that we are capable of being. We nurture one another, comfort each other when times are tough, and encourage each other to push through. But best of all, we laugh together...a lot. I feel most connected to God when in nature and when surrounded by strong community, so to practice along the seaside in the early hours of morn, engulfed by a circle of stupendous human beings...well, it fills my heart. I have learned so much about myself through my relationship with all of these yogis, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. See you next year beach yoga!

"Relationship...is the mirror in which you discover yourself. Without relationship you are not; to be is to be related; to be related is existence. You exist only in relationship; otherwise you do not exist, existence has no meaning. It is not because you think you are that you come into existence. You exist because you are related..." - J. Krishnamurti

Friday, September 13, 2013

BiBimBop and ScrubADub

Bi-Bim-Bop
I did an NYC express trip on Thursday. I woke up at 6am, did my kundalini kriya "ego eradicator" and meditation, read from my May Cause Miracles, and then sipped some hot tea. I was on the 8am bus in Atlantic City, headed for Port Authority. My only plan was to go to the Master Class with Dharma Mittra at the Dharma Center, and to track down "The Bean" because it's the only place aside from Upright Coffee that carries almond milk (side note: seriously NYC?! ALL those damn coffee shops and theres only TWO that have almond milk..!?!). There's a Bean in Union Square, and after I got my decaf spice tea latte I wandered about. Directly across the street were two yoga centers:  one, the very famous Jivamutki Center, and the other was a little grassroots place called The Shala. In India we practiced in "the Shala", and I felt a pull in my heart to try out the studio. Well, it certainly wasn't Mittras Master Class, but I am glad that I tried it - and it was nice to zone out into an Ashtanga flow. I've always said that there's no such thing as a "bad class", because even in a class you don't enjoy you'll take something away from it. I walked away with two things: a cool stretch for the hamstrings and the thought that I will NEVER, EVER count out breaths for my students-- it is distracting, counter-intuitive, and I found that I breathed less than I would have naturally. Anywho, the day continued....I met JamieD by her work and we grabbed a quick but INSANELY-FUCKING-DELICIOUS Korean lunch at Manna Kitchen (28 E. 18th Street, NY NY). I love love love Bi-Bim-Bop, and I was happy that they offered brown rice (which I am allowed to have - in moderation - with this candida cleanse). Not only am I allowed to eat everything that came with the dish, but it's all recommended for the cleanse (miso soup, kim chi, and lots of veggies and seaweed in the dish itself). Make sure that when you order this traditional korean dish that you get it with the hot skillet - otherwise the rice won't get crispy (with the toasted sesame oil), and that's the best part!! I said my goodbyes to Jamie and then headed to my Korean spa for a scrub and a massage. Back on the bus, read my book most of the way,  and asleep as soon as I walked through the door.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

In the Water, Upside-Down

This was what I posted for the mornings yoga class...and I had to keep reminding myself of this every time that I tried for the headstand on the unsteady board.
Slowly Slowly...Shanti Shanti.
Coaching my yoga student and good friend Quentin into a headstand...
I needed a few day hiatus from writing the blog. The past few days have been a been heavy on the emotions, so I have just been relaxing, reading and enjoying the company of friends and family. My Auntie D flew in from California, Jbird and his fiancé were in from the west coast as well, and the festivities were a'flowin' in the Callahan house. I laughed a lot these past few days, reliving and re-telling so many stories about the adventurous, full, wonderful life that my dad led. And so the fun continued, as I healed my heart with some salt water....I joined my frieda Katie and Quentin on the bay yesterday for some paddleboarding. The sun was shining, wind was light and the bay was still. We paddled around and then played around with some headstands. It wasn't easy, but the new elements proved to make for a super fun inversion practice. We had some lunch then I grabbed a few waves down the north end in OC, getting some nose time that would have made my Dad proud. Enjoying every day. God bless.

Monday, September 9, 2013

One Year

Me, Mom and Dad on our Sumner Ave in Strathmere.

My tapas have been strong, and I have stayed committed to this diet through and through. But yesterday I had to break it for one ice cold Guinness and toast to my Dad...on his beach, with his beer, with his Wife, surrounded by his friends. It tasted bittersweet.  
Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care. Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to. He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely within your heart.




Dad, In Ireland, enjoying "mothers milk".

" life can only be understood looking backwards, 
but must be lived looking forward".

By no strange chance, I have had encounters and interactions with several powerful and amazing women this week who also lost their fathers (when they were about my age). What I've taken away from all of these conversations is that I really owe it all to him....not only did he love me and make me who I am while he was here, but through his passing I have gone through a transformation that would not have taken place otherwise - a transformation that has empowered and enlightened me beyond my expectations. We all agreed that we would have our fathers back in a heartbeat if we could, but looking back - there is nothing but gratitude because that day forever changed the direction ahead.  So, it's been a rough few days, and an emotional year - but looking back - I understand that everything happens as it should, and now I'm just living life looking forward. Life is beautiful, and I feel so grateful for all of It's blessings. Today I woke up feeling grateful that Paul Callahan was my Dad, which surprised me, because I thought that my first emotion would have been one of sadness that he was gone. And so I raise my pint of Guinness to a great man, he forever lives in my heart.

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my own familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Canon Henry Scott-Holland, Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral (1847 – 1918)

Friday, September 6, 2013

Lazy Day, the Lodge, and the Quest for Almond Milk...

Day 6 of the #moveyoasana instagram yoga challenge
beautiful doorways in beautiful brooklyn
my love Rob, a kickass veggie burger (with a fried egg) and some tea @ the LODGE in BK.
Rob had this hanging up in his studio...and I love it.
Bye bye NYC.
Today was a somewhat lazy day in the city. I woke up early but lounged around the apartment in Brooklyn with JamieD's roommates. I talked travel with Rachel, love with Chloe, and had a cuddle with Pi on the couch as I read his palm and talked about craft beers and tropical fruits. Then I hopped the subway one stop to Williamsburg to meet my dear friend Rob. Rob has my heart. Period. End of sentence end of story. We enjoyed an amazing brunch at The Lodge (just off Grand Street), where I had the most delicious cup of chamomile tea and a perfectly-crafted veggie burger (topped with a fried egg!). We walked around town, arm in arm, soaking up the brilliant sun and the company of one another. I jabbered away about yoga, travel and my Dad and Rob filled me in on his most recent art projects, life in the city, and his new addiction to fresh pressed juice. He snapped some photos of me doing yoga and we hung out at his studio, going through his prints, photos and past + present projects.

I meandered around the city the rest of the afternoon, searching out a cafe with almond milk. Hooray for The Bean in the east village that has a kick ass decaf "spiced" tea, almond milk, free wifi, comfortable seats and lots of plugs (to charge up your constantly-drained iPhone!). After my (non)-caffeine fix I headed to Robs for one final hug, then onto the subway and back to Jams place. Rachel was home and we got deep into conversation about the magic of India and then, exhausted from this blissful weekend, I passed out on the couch for a short sunset cat nap. I'm hopping into Jammie's truck now and we are headed back down to south jersey, just in time for the weekend to begin...

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Decaf Almond Milk French Lavender Latte

A very sleepy JamieD, reading super rich...upside down. It was THAT type of morning. 
JamDeezie and Me. 
Upright Coffee...well worth the journey.
FINALLY! A place in NYC that has some fucking almond milk!! Hallelujah!
Jammie, Bling, and Iced Almond Milk Lavender Latter. Boom. 
Whoa! Wait! What?

Yes.

Decaf,
Almond Milk,
French Lavender,
LATTE.

Amazingness.

Godbless JamD for rolling her tired ass out of bed and driving us around on this wild goose chase for almond milk cafes in the BK. We were both delirious when we woke up this morning, we sipped some tea and had a few laughs in bed and then for our asses in grove so I could get my (non)caffeine-fix and Jam could get to work.

The verdict? Upright Coffee, for the most delicious latte. It was the best way to start a beautiful day that just continually got better.

Upright Coffee
Greenpoint, Brooklyn
860 Manhattan Ave
(between Noble St & Milton St) 
BrooklynNY 11222

Wandering Yogini

Eka Pada Koundiyanasana I
Natarajasana Variation @ Dharma Center, NYC
Utthita Trikonasana in NYC, Day 5 pose for #moveyoasana


Busting a headstand in Times Square



PILIN
So I've changed my profile name to WanderingYogini on Instagram, because no one knows how to spell my name anyways. Had an epic day of classes today and I got into two poses that I've never done before. Dharma Mittra's class was exactly as I had thought it would be...straight outta India. Dharma is in his late 70's, and he was still the strongest and most flexible in the room (and it was an advanced Master Class). Nicole was cursing me the whole class, but I loved it. It was straight and to the point, no frills, as is done in the motherland. There are small cues, strong adjustments and a stern strict guidance from the teacher. There was chanting and mediation, and the longest and most amazing savasana ever. What I liked most was the unpretentious, cozy feeling of the studio. Loved it. After class we literally ran into JamD who we visited with for a few minutes before jetting uptown to Reflections Studio for an hour Afro-Flow Yoga class taught by a fellow (new) friend, Pilin. She is a little bundle of goddess joy, and her dance that was driven by the beat of the African drum was the exact opposite of Dharmas class. It was super fun, fluid, and intuitive. I can't wait to share this style with all of you! The days classes were so yin and yang, night and day, but this is what I crave in my practice and in my life- a balance of the two. So grateful for another beautiful day!

Subway Savvy









I have never been good with directions, and the City gets me particularly turned around. Well,goddamn, I made it from the Upper West Side all the way to Jamie's apartment in BK all by myself thanks to the Embark NYC (FREE) application. This app is priceless. You type in your starting address and your destination, it finds the closest subway station and then gives you multiple routes and how long they should take (approximately). Love love love this app.

#MoveYoAsana

Day 3
Day 4
The yoga challenge continues, and I continually enjoy the daily opportunity to snap a shot and post it on insta. It's great to look at everyone else's photos who are participating, especially those that make it work during their "real jobs", snapping photos in the workplace. Check it and me out #MoveYoAsana and WanderingYogini ❤

Monday, September 2, 2013

Tapas and Tea

Perhaps the sight of deer skulls after meditation is a bit unsettling for most, but for me, seeing these warms my heart and reminds me of my main man.....
Every morning has started out with my Tapas and a cup of (piping) hot tea. I have so enjoyed the daily routine and I feel as if there is an underlying peace now that wasn't totally there before. I started adopting and practicing weekly tapas while in India. What is a "tapa" you ask (no, it's not a small dish at a Spanish restaurant)?

I will preface our "tapas" talk with a bit of background information. First of all, there are eight limbs to yoga, "asana" (physical postures) only being one of them. They are...
1. Yamas (external code of conduct)
There are 5 Yamas: ahimsa (nonviolence), satya (truthfulness), asteya (nonstealing), brahmacharya (conserving energy, continence), aparigraha (noncoveting)
2. Niyamas (internal code of conduct):
There are 5 Niyamas: saucha (purity), santosa (contentment), tapas (spiritual austerities), svadhyaya (self study), ishvara pranhidana (surrender to god)
3. Asana (postures)
4. Pranayama (breath control)
5. Pratayhara (withdraw of the senses)
6. Dharana (concentration)
7. Dhyana (meditation)
8. Samadhi (enlightenment)

While in India, I actually worked my way through the Yamas and the Niyamas, embodying (and journaling about) each for a full week. It was such a great practice in awareness, and I highly recommend it to all of you as well! The Yamas and the Niyamas are the backbone of how I live my life, with each building upon the one before. Observing and living these in my daily life have shed so much light on so many things...I am so grateful. Anywho, TAPAS:

***************Tapas : 3rd Niyama (austerity, fiery discipline)*****

“Tapas” is one of the most powerful concepts in the Yoga Sutras.  The word “tapas” comes from the Sanskrit verb “tap” which means “to burn”. The traditional interpretation of tapas is that it is “fiery  discipline”. It is this discipline which burns off the impediments which us from being in the state of yoga. Another way to understand tapas is to think of it as consistency.  One of the highest disciplines is that of consistency: getting on the yoga mat every day, sitting on the meditation cushion every day, observing the antics of the mind every day, forgiving your mate or your child yet another time. If tapas is considered in this vein, then it becomes a more subtle practice, a practice that is concerned with the quality of life and relationships, not just with outlasting some difficulty.
When we bring a commitment born of love to our consistent practice of yoga, we are practicing the niyama of tapas. It is with this spirit of abiding in the midst of difficulty which is at the heart of tapas. This is the spirit of tapas: the willingness to follow through with difficult decisions while maintaining compassion for all the effects that those decisions might have for self and others. Tapas is ultimately measured in the consistent willingness to begin practice again and again, over and over again to bring awareness to this very moment. (http://www.judithlasater.com/writings/livingtheniyamas2.html)



Tapas is the joyful willingness to do what is necessary to reach a goal with fiery   discipline.
Tapas (austerity) refers to strength of character in resolute pursuit of yoga’s ultimate goal of the union of Self (Atman) and Brahman (God).  The word “Tapas” translate as a spiritual purification or fiery discipline that burns away impediments that keep us from achieving our highest potential of Self.
Many have mistakenly practiced Tapas as self-mortification.  Fasting, a meager diet, and other forms of extreme asceticism are not in alignment with our first, and most important, yama of ahimsa (non-violence). While the practice of austerities in moderation trains the will and develops body and mind, excessive asceticism and self-mortification has the opposite affect. Tapas is one of the most powerful practices in the Yoga Sutras.

The word “Tapas” comes from the Sanskrit verb “tap” which means “to burn.” The traditional interpretation of Tapas is a “fiery discipline” that is a fiercely focused, constant, intense commitment necessary to burn off the impediments that keep us from being in the true state of yoga (union with the universe).

Practice: Maintain a constant determination to pursue daily practices.  Make sacrifices as necessary, but do not hurt self or other in the process.  Be enthusiastic about the spiritual path. Be joyfulness with outer discipline as a means of refining a joyful inner discipline. Remember Tapas is a joyful willingness to do what is necessary to reach a goal with fiery discipline, it is not a punishment.

Tapas turns up the heat
Tapas is a practice of balanced austerity, sacrifice, and discipline. Tapas means “heat” or “fire.” Go through the heat and accept it – invite it in. Fire brings transformation while leading into stillness. If you are not in stillness, you are in craving or in aversion. In other words, you are suffering. Transformation happens through the fire with presence and persistency.  As the layers of ego melt away, the truth of love shines through.

Tapas (Discipline vs Difficulty)
Unfortunately, many people mistakenly equate discipline in a yoga practice with difficulty. They see another student striving to perfect the most difficult poses and assume she must be more disciplined and therefore more spiritually advanced.

Difficulty does not make a practice transformational. 
It is true that good things are sometimes difficult, but not all difficult things are automatically good. In fact, difficulty can create its own impediments. The ego is drawn to battle with difficulty. Even mastering a challenging yoga pose can bring pride and an egoistic attachment to being an “advanced” yoga student.  This impedes or slows your progress.  A better way to understand Tapas is to think of it as a non-attached consistency in striving toward your goals.

Ultimate practice of Tapas: Love yourself and your life exactly as it IS.  Change nothing, but move with more and more presence and consistency.  Be vigilant that your thoughts, actions and speech are rooted in love. (http://www.gaiaflowyoga.com/2010/07/31/tapas-3rd-niyama-austerity-fiery-discipline-2/)
  
I begin Gabrielle Bernsteins "May Cause Miracles" 40 day affirmation and meditation series four weeks ago, and I haven't missed a day since I began - because I took it on as one of my tapas. Also as a tapa, I am doing the Kundalini kriya,  "Ego Eradicator"  every morning before I read the day's entry. After my morning breathwork, reading and meditation I head inside and begin my ritual: I boil water and almond milk with a cinnamon stick, fresh ginger, cardamom and green tea chai. I sit down, quietly sip and thoroughly enjoy my mornings cup of tea. Are there mornings when I'm fucking exhausted and would rather hit the snooze button? Absolutely. But I am choosing to honor the tapas that I've made, knowing that they are helping me to come into my highest self. One of my favorite parts of my morning tapas is that I have been practicing outside, in the same place, seated on the edge of our property, looking out over the grass and into the trees that my Dad planted around our home. It is this time in the morning that I feel most connected to him, when all is quiet and the world seems to be completely still. Sometimes I feel his presence in the breeze around me as I sit in meditation. Once he even sat with me in meditation. When I open my eyes I see the deer skulls from one of his last hunting ventures sitting outside in the grass, and I know that there must be more to life than this short existence that we are in. Whether he is in heaven, or just floating around on the breeze - his body has passed but his spirit is still here and all around.

I invite you all to take on a tapa for a week. And then add another week. And another. They say that it takes 40 days for true change to set in, for old patterns to be broken, and for new patterns to emerge. So perhaps you set it for fourty days. But be kind to yourself, and don't set yourself up for failure by setting some crazy insane goal. While in India my tapa began as one week of waking up and doing 3 rounds of uddiyana bandha followed by a one minute headstand. The next week I decided to add 3 rounds of U.B. followed by a minute of kapalabti and a 2 minute headstand. The third week it was 3 rounds of U.B., 3 minutes of kapalabati, and 3 minute headstand. So on, and so forth. It was a gradual increase and then at the end of 7 weeks I had powerful lungs, a killer headstand, a proud heart, and a still mind. Best of luck to you all. God Bless.

#MoveYoAsana

Yesterday was Day 1 of MoveYoAsana. This is a month long Instagram challenge for September, where you have to do a specific pose every day and post it with the #MoveYoAsana hashtag. I love a challenge and have felt myself flourish under Bernsteins 40 day "May Cause Miracles" (yep, that's right...day 29 and I still haven't missed a day), so I'm excited to add another commitment to my day. Check it out and follow me on Insta CAILIN_CALLAHAN

OCHS at OCZD

Shelby (5th one in) has been coming to class all summer. She always has a smile on her face, she asks amazing questions and you can feel her full devotion and presence to her practice. Yesterday she brought half of Ocean City High School with her to class (well, 7 of them...), for their first ever yoga experience. I had to tell the boys a few times to quiet down with the chatter, but they were GREAT. They were present, and giving their all to their practice. I was so grateful to have you youngn's in the studio and I am so grateful to share my passion with such an open and attentive audience. The theme and dharma talk of yesterdays class was about being YOU, authentic YOU, no matter how much people try to change that. It was something that resonated with them, and I was glad to hear the feedback through the grapevine later in the day....

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle that any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." -ee cummings

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Cheetah

Cheetah.

I always have my oracle cards with me. There are two decks in particular that I am especially connected with, and at any given time I usually have one of them on me. In the Fall, one of my favorite things to do is to go to dinner at Steve and Cookies in Margate, and sometime throughout the night, pick cards with friends. The bartenders, servers, and owners are now very familiar with me and my eclectic ways...and though they all tease, they (not so) secretly love when the cards come out.

"Dumpster Diving" is the term that I use to refer to those who just dive in and pick a card. Obviously, the card that they pick is never appropriate for them or their situation. Duh. You have to *sit* with it for a bit. I either hold my hands above the cards, scanning for what feels best for me...or I shuffle the deck seven times and hold it to my heart before cutting the deck and selecting my oracle. It works best to really come into a clear mind and heart before carefully selecting a card, and it's even better to think of a question or request in your mind before picking.

To say that I have been in a transition state lately is an understatement. Ever since my dads passing nearly one year ago (it'll be one year on the 9th of this month...), my life has been nothing but a constant transition, transformation, and evolution of sorts. It has been such an exciting unfolding and I am so grateful for the journey. As most of you have read, I have recently decided to really step it up in the yoga department. Obviously this is going to be my life's path, and I feel as if it is my lifes work to share the bhakti in my heart and the knowledge that I have collected (and will continue to collect) from various teachers around the globe. I've set the intention and the ball rolling to create a website, several videos and podcasts, among other various treats to share via the world wide web. Before picking a card, as I sat with the stillness, I kept thinking of the guidance that I needed for this journey ahead. Sure enough, I picked the CHEETAH. It reads:

**************
Cheetah
"Get clear on your intention, stay focused, and move quickly to achieve your goal."

Stop deluding yourself by thinking that there isn't enough time, there are too many other things to do, or youre not up to the mission that's calling you to action. These and many other beliefs are delay tactics that keep you from accomplishing what you're here to do. It's much too easy to play it safe by staying caught up in the mundane dramas of life rather than honoring Spirit's purpose for you by making a run for it.

The first step is to write out your intention as clearly as possible. Keep it nearby and create an appropriate affirmation that you can repeat several times over the course of teh day - one that states your intention as if it has already occurred. Then write out a sequence of action steps that will help you move toward your ultimate goal. Don't be shy or hesitant to think big -- bigger than you've previously allowed yourself. Once you've set the wheels in motion by doing these steps, it's time to move -- not in some frenetic, hurried way, but steady and purposeful, designing much of your activity to support what you need to do.

In all this movement, once you've successfully achieved a significant piece, take a breathere and look back on how far you've come. Give yourself a pat on the back with each step that's accomplished as a way of acknowledging your progress. Go for it!

Associations:
Speed, Focus, Insight, Passion, Swiftness, Flexibility, Efficiency, Self-Esteem, Powerful, Graceful, Purposeful, Energetic, Sensuous, Accomplishment, Directness

**************

Today I am feeling POWERFUL and AMAZING. Boom.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Fall Schedule

This is my Fall Schedule....which starts TUESDAY September 2nd!