not all who wander are lost.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It's the little things...



It's the little things that make me miss him the most...

Yesterday my iPhone left this world. Well, the back of it shattered into a thousand itty bitty pieces and now the screen keeps freezing. I do absolutely everything on my phone and use it for all of my businesses, so I went straight up to Apple to replace it. I have iCloud, so transferring photos and such shouldn't be a problem. But my new iPhone is bigger than the old one- so it won't fit in my camo case. My friend Ro had bought this case for my Dad, the king of "Kill Em and Eat Em". Then, she realized that he didn't have an iPhone- so she gave it to me. My Dad would always joke about me using "his" case...literally, every time he saw it- which was every day- he'd make a comment and laugh and laugh. And now, every day when I look at the case I think of him, hearing him tease me about stealing his case. Then there is the home screen of my phone. Which is a picture of my Mom and Dad. It's not like I can't put this same photo as my homescreen on my new phone, but you understand...it's just the process of doing it again. I know this seems such a small thing, and maybe my Dad even had a hand in it so id stop getting all emotional about him because of a damn cell phone. But I cried a bit on the way home from Apple, knowing that each day puts more and more time and distance between us. I don't want to let him go, but I don't want to hold on so tightly to him either. Navigating the balance with all of these emotions has been tricky, and in the end- it's usually the small things that set me off in the biggest way. Today I think I'm going to have a full Paul Callahan Day...watch his favorite movie, eat his favorite foods (minus the ice cream...damn candida!), and rock out to his favorite songs. I just want to hold him today...but not too tight...

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