Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I'm smiling from ear to ear now as I'm typing this up in the cab (on my way to the Indonesian Embassy), and I gotta admit- I have a really good life.
6pm...catch the 13hr night train to Chiang Mai. Oh yeah, waited too long to buy a ticket and missed out on one of the beds. Sleeping in a seat. Brilliant.
For Meesh's last night we ate our favorite....street food! After mango salad we smoked some apple Shisha and sipped a cocktail. We dipped into a packed, sweaty, smelly bar to listen to a great cover band and drink overpriced beer. By the time we got home it was 2am...and Meesh's shuttle to the airport was leaving in an hour and a half! So I vowed to stay up with her until she left. We chatted and packed and planned our Indonesian surf adventures...I'll be meeting up with her in less than 4 weeks time! Fell asleep a bit after 4am, probably the latest that I've ever gone to bed!! Let's hope I don't make a habit of this....
Friday, February 25, 2011
Please send cash payment to Cailin@PartyBoyFanClub.com
I am having a great time- you can tell that from reading the blog, viewing my pictures, and following my facebook. I have a smile on my face 98% of the time- and on the occasion that I feel anger or sadness, it passes as quickly as it arrives. Any bit of emotions going on Inside of me I have chosen to ignore- though lately they've been surfacing after an intense physical practice followed by a deep meditation. Most people fully accept my smile, but there's been two people who have called me on my bullshit: Ratha Kong and Meesh.
Ratha Kong is a Khmer woman who works at a fancy hotel in Siem Reap. Her and the Borgeious's (my good friends, yoga students and surf buddies) became friends after they stayed at the hotel a few years back. Before I left the states, Eileen sent me with a gift for Ratha. I made my way to the hotel to deliver the package, and after I dropped it off she asked that I return in a few hours. A bit after sunset I headed back to the hotel. Ratha had a thank you note and a gift for me. She sat down with me in the fouer and asked about my trip. Then she said "Are you happy?". Her English isn't that great, so I figured that she was just asking 'how are things?!'. With a huge grin on my face, I replied "Absolutely!!". Afterall, I WAS having a great time, and I WAS happy. She didn't buy it, replying, "No, but are you HAPPY ...on the Inside???". Well fuck, I broke down. Heavy year. And a complete stranger saw right through me.
Last night at dinner, Meesh looked at me and said "Okay Cailin, what the fuck is going on? I read your blog, I know what's going on in your life- but let's be honest. What the fuck is going on? You don't have to be fucking superwoman. As soon as you walked into the hotel the other day I just knew that something was off with you." well- it was a loooooong dinner. We talked and talked. Shawn, Dad, Dad, Dad, feeling lost a bit in this new chapter of life- blah blah blah. "Heavy. Fucking Heavy." ...that was her response.
Both Meesh and Ratha helped me to realize that it's okay to keep smiling through the bad, but you also need to mourn- otherwise (as Meesh would say) "Fuck man, it'll fucking kill you!".
So starting today, I'm going to give some love and attention to what's going on inside....
the lover is always getting lost.
The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning;
the whole business of love is to drown in the sea.
Intellectuals plan their repose;
lovers are ashamed to rest.
The lover is always alone,
even surrounded with people;
like water and oil, he remains apart.
The man who goes to the trouble
of giving advice to a lover
gets nothing. He's mocked by passion.
Love is like a musk. It attracts attention.
Love is a tree, and lovers are it's shade.
For the past 3 days I've woken up feeling like I have a wicked hangover. But- I havent had anything to drink. I think that this hangover is an emotional and physical result of the one intense month of travel in Cambodia...GO, GO, GO! So, I'm in the Booze capital of southeast Asia- Bangkok, and instead of beers I'm sipping on iced coffees and fresh coconuts. It's loud here at night- and my usual "to bed by 9, up before 6" schedule has become "asleep around 1, begin to come back to life around 9!". My days have been trek free and excursionless...but my adventures have been confined to two streets- trying every bit of street food that I can get my hands on before retreating back to our cozy hostel to relax and read. It's been a lazy few days in Bangkok, but I gotta admit- I'm enjoying every minute of it. My ass and thighs continue to grow at a rapid pace- making me eternally grateful to the loose baggy pants that are in style here. I stress about it for a few minutes- but then head out for another plate of fresh delicious Pad Thai ($1usd) and vow to do extra yoga and log extra surf sessions once I arrive in Indonesia. My big plans for the day: eat some papaya salad, ship a package to my parents, get my armpits waxed and read the last bit of SHANTARAM. I hope that your day is as stressful as mine.....
Future stop: sneaking into a rooftop pool to cool down....
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I woke up this morning next to Michele, and I just felt happy: inside and out. I was so fortunate to meet her the first time around in Costa Rica all those years ago, but I feel even more gratitude for the bit of time that we have together now in Thailand. There's people: bad people, decent people, people, alright people, good people, great people. And then you have people like Meesh. People that not only are good friends and good people, but that help to bring out and inspire the best in you. She's headed out tomorrow for Indonesia- but I'm thankful for the time we've had and I look forward to the good times we'll be having once I arrive in Indo next month!
You better wear a latex,
Cause you don't want that late text,
Uh oh "I think I'm late" text
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
I got two cute videos of them doing their thing. Going to try and post some on here....
Friday, February 18, 2011
I have only 4 days left- not enough time to venture elsewhere. I'd hate to end my amazing trip to Cambodia on a bad note so I've decided to plan a trip onto one of the outlying islands ASAP. Im going to eat obscene amounts of delicious, fresh, inexpensive seafood- and im going to drink myself silly so that I can laugh and the nonsense of this town.
Just booked 2 nights on an island, "lazy beach", along with 3 days of snorkeling. No Internet, so no updates for a bit. Wish me luck!
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Received an email from my mom this morning...an email that I have anxiously been anticipating since my Dad got an MRI last week. The worry has really been eating away at me since my arrival here-- guilt for being away, anxiety for the unknown, and sadness for the grim possibilities. I have been having an amazing time- but there was always an underlying stress. Well- now I can continue my travels without such a heavy heart.
Begin forwarded message:
Hey everybody, the tumor, mass, whatever you want to call it, is still there (as it will always be), but when the doctors at the Brain Tumor Conference looked at it the other day, it not only looked the same, it actually looked better. They only call it NON-SIGNIFICANT CHANGES. I call it AWESOME!
Eileen the nurse is my main contact. I love her. She is going to set us up with a neuro-ophthalmologist at Penn. She will make all the calls , which means we will get in there quickly. Paul's main problem right now is his vision.He has almost a double vision when he uses both eyes looking at a distance. He has good vision out of both , as long as he's only using one at a time. If he looks out of both at the same time he gets dizzy. Eventually that leads to a headache. He's been wearing an eye patch and that works , but it also limits him. The doctors were told about this, and they had the results of his Field Vision test that he had down here last month , but they don't see a direct link to the tumor, so now we are going to see the EYE experts and try to solve this problem.Hopefully they can figure this out.
For now we just relax for another 3 months when we will have another MRI. Except for the eye, and the right side numbness, Paul is feeling great. He rarely ever needs naps, he's sharp as a tack, he can focus on reading again, he's getting stronger, he's been helping me dry dogs when I need him. He's taking care of making his veggie juices, he's "kitchen boy " all of which helps me to no end.
Cailin will be able to continue her traveling with no worries. We can continue to live and love every day that God gives us. Please keep us in your prayers, keep the love and good vibes coming our way. Another plus is that Paul is probably going to take early retirement.The company has made a great offer and he's considering it, so if all goes well he will be a farmer, hunter, fisherman, doggie drier, great father, husband, and all the other things he's always been for many years to come.
Frodo: this is what?
Sam: if I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.
Frodo: come on Sam. Remember what bilbo used to say: "it's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet theres no knowing where you might be swept off to."
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
1. Ah Kuhn (thank you)
2. Ah Kuhn Jaran (thank you very much)
3. Ah Kuhn Tom Tom (big big thank you)
But today I was in a deaf establishment, so I said thank you with ASL (American Sign Language). Turns out, you sign it differently in Khmer! In ASL to say thank you have a flat hand, palm facing you body, fingertips touching your mouth. Then you lower the hand so it's pointing out. In Khmer Sign Language you have your hands in prayer by your face. Then you release the right hand to draw a circle with it (an outward twist of the wrist) and then bring the hands back to prayer!