I cried when Julia dropped me at the airport today. The past two weeks have been amazing, and as sad as I was to be leaving today I am equally excited for my next adventure. This is a first for me- completely solo in a country where I don't speak the language, in a completely unfamiliar culture and I don't know a single soul. I have butterflies in my stomach, but a smile on my face. I'm looking forward to the unknown...I just have a good feeling....
I feel like I should post a blog of my own about you. I don't blog and I'm not sure what separates a blog from a letter from an essay but here goes. I woke up this morning and you weren't here, three coffee cups still on the counter from the previous day. Now we're back to two. It made me think about how sometimes you just win the freakin jack pot of life. I don't think about we ended up together, it sort of just evolved into the most amazing relationship of my life. Many good, great and epic times, many tear filled, heart breaking and shitty times. Sometimes when you're least expecting it, you get all aces. For instance: I was living in an apartment by the beach on a beautiful caribbean island. I stayed up late and I slept late. That is until the neighbors started construction on the house below. Morning after morning, hammers would wake me at daybreak and I would pull the pillow over my face and writhe in bed planning to not only confront them but massacre everyone hammer-wielding local (think Uma Thurman in Kill Bill) It became cyclical. Day after day, BANG, BANG, BANG until one morning I reached my tipping point. It was dawn, I stormed downstairs and I wanted blood. I turned the corner with venom oozing out of my pours, I think I actually hissed at one point. And then, I stopped. I ceased to hear the banging, I was witnessing the most beautiful sunrise of my life. I was speechless. I sat there for 45 minutes. All that time spent under the covers brooding with hate I was missing this. This sunrise to beat all sunrises. You get where I'm headed. Cailin Callahan is that sunrise, she's the royal flush on your last hand, she's the goddamn $10,000 tax return from that year you forgot to file!!! And let me tell you, winning feels pretty fucking good. I seriously feel like I won something that I get to have her in my life. It's crazy, I win every freakin day! What I'm trying to tell you, (cailin) is that I love you as big as the universe and I miss you already!
ReplyDeletexoxox Julie