not all who wander are lost.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Tears. Training. Transitions.

So, training has begun, and I can tell you already that blogs will be at an all time low. Because this 200hr is an intensive, our days are 13 hours long, 6 days a week, Saturday being our only day off. I am exhausted already and it's only just begun. Last night I was sound asleep by 8:30pm, and my morning started when my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning. 

It was an emotional day when I arrived. Anytime I'm making a major transition and disrupting my routine, I find that all the emotions I've pushed down - come up. I cried about my Dad a lot while I was on my flights, waiting on my layover, and in the taxi on the way here. I settled into Whispering Lakes in Arambol, Goa-- and I just wasn't "feeling it". But all of that disappeared once the opening ceremony began...

I'm a firm believer in signs, that is how I ended up doing this training afterall. When I walked into the Shala, the wall hanging was the same that we have in both of our Zen Den studios, the one of Ganesh. In front of our seats were a little stack of books for each of us: our manual, a notebook, and an OSHO book. I started crying. So lame, I know, but of all the books, of all the yogis, they gave us Osho...who has influenced my life, my practice, my teaching an my relationships more than anyone I've encountered. And then the third and most powerful sign, Piyush. He's one of the teachers assisting Rory and Scarlette (the head teachers). Piyush is Indian, from London, and is probably in his late 40s/early 50s. He is handsome with the most kind face and demeanor, and he has my Dads eyes. His eyes are brown, not baby blue, but he has that same sparkle in his eyes that I haven't seen in anyone aside from my Dad. It's a magical sparkle, and again- instantly brought me to tears. And then the real kicker....when it was his turn to introduce himself, he ended his intro with a big smile and a "GOD BLESS YA". I went to sleep last night knowing that despite any feelings of hesitation that I was having that THIS was exactly where I needed to be. 

So, my blogs won't be daily as they usually are. I will try to keep up a little blog diary on my notebook and then post the little tidbits at the end of every week, but I'm not making any promises. I'm looking forward to the challenging weeks ahead, so wish me luck. 

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