Saturday, January 12, 2013
Epic Cry, Epic Cleanse.
Last night was a bit rough. I skipped out on the group dinner and outing to play music with my teacher Sequioa and some of her (hippy) friends. It turned out to be an epic fail, with no guitars showing up and no food ever being made. The venture home was quite an adventure, because it is DARK here, even with a flashlight. I was exhausted and hungry, a touch frustrated and running a fever because I've been sick for well over a week now. I decided to try the Internet again (id already tried 3x earlier in the day!) and went to a popular touristy restaurant. Unfortunately my favorite local eating spots don't offer wifi haha. I haven't eaten any meat in quite a while, but I was feeling pretty fatigued and thought that maybe my body could use some protein, so I ordered chicken. Another epic fail...one bite and I knew it was off so I didn't eat anymore. Well, on the walk home that one bite punched me in the stomach and I had to dash into the bushes for...:some business. Ugh.
Home, tired, sick - asleep. Woke up this morning and did my Kriya of breath work (pranayama) and meditation. Since its Saturday there is no classes but we all were to have breakfast at the Blue Pyramid which is a bit of a walk down the beach. I sat next to Jessica (one of the most magical gentle beings here) and Piyush (the one who has my dads eyes and who says "god bless ya"). I should have known that my body strategically placed me next to these two beings, because I needed them. Feeling tired, run down and sick - I was already on the edge. And then I finally told Piyush about the parallels between him and my Dad, and of course I shed a few tears. And the tears never quite stopped. They were on and off as Piyush and I talked and hugged, and then after breakfast Jessica asked if it was alright for her to sit behind me. I thought that she was asking to sit behind me so that she could talk with the PEOPLE behind me, but she literally meant right behind me. She put her hands on my shoulders, and it was so comforting that I closed my eyes. She continued to move energy that was stuck in my body and in my chakras and that opened me up to feeling and releasing a lot of the pain that I keep trying to push down- because let's face it- who wants to cry in front of a group of strangers, in India, and have snot running down their face?! But Jessica knew what I needed, so she continued- and then held space for my sadness as she literally held me....and I cried for about an hour. It was more of a sob than a cry, but her, Piyush and Bogey held the space for me to just let it out. I would get self conscious at times and try to stop crying, but just a touch of Jessica's hand on my back and her encouragement to fully feel and release was what I needed to continue crying. It was exhausting, but necessary. Afterwards we had a swim in the sea and then lounged on the beach, soaking up some vitamin d, talking about IMPORTANT things, and of course we picked some oracle cards! I brought along my "spirit guides" deck and we picked cards for the past, present and future. They were spot on! My present was a mouse, and my future was the tiger ;) After sun and cards we enjoyed some lunch and quiet time- and this Saturday has been exactly what my soul has needed. The mouse card read that sometimes people need things or have stuff going on that you don't see from the outside ... So THANK YOU to Jessica for seeing past my exterior to what was really going on, and to encourage the healing process. So grateful today. Sometimes an epic cry is exactly what you need for an epic cleanse.