The greatest pains and the greatest of pleasures all pass. I have held both pleasure and pain so close this winter and as much as you may cling to them, indeed they go just as they came... And I've found that pleasure and pain aren't so different after all, they're intimately connected- because it's usually pain that follows the pleasure. How could one feel pain if they hadn't held pleasure?! And how could one appreciate pleasure if they hadn't suffered pain? And so it has been, this dance between the two, navigating extreme sadness and the most wholesome, nourishing happiness. Both experiences are an opportunity to grow, and I know that I am returning home a different woman than the girl that set off in late Autumn.
T.S. Eliot said,
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
And so, after all this exploring, I'm returning into my spiritual self and my physical home, for the first time. Fresh.
This winter has held so many magical moments, and so many beautiful people. It has offered up delicious food and perfect waves. The days and the nights haven't been long enough to contain the fun, bliss and abundance that has been sent to me. I owe it all to the company I've kept, so ill end with one more quote from TS Eliot, which sums up how I feel about the importance of some good friends. Thank you to EVERYONE who held me, loved me, nourished me and laughed with me this winter! I'll see you all again, someday...
"You do not know how much they mean to me, my friends,
And how, how rare and strange it is, to find
In a life composed so much, so much of odds and ends,
(For indeed I do not love it ... you knew? you are not blind! How keen you are!)
To find a friend who has these qualities,
Who has, and gives
Those qualities upon which friendship lives.
How much it means that I say this to you-
Without these friendships-life, what cauchemar!"
― T.S. Eliot