" Wow, I almost wrote this a few days ago and I'm glad that I didn't have time. Starting Thursday ,Paul had a real downward slide.He was having a tough time communicating and generally was "out of it". At the same time he was very aware that things were not right.Had I written just that, and stopped there , I might have scared you guys as much as it scared me.
He recognized everyone when he saw them, and talked to them as best he could, but within an hour of them leaving he had NO recollection of them being there. The first example of this was that on Thursday evening. Brad and Rochelle came over and provided us with an incredible Fish Taco supper. While this was going on his sister Nellie and her son Matt arrived. It was the first time she had been here since coming up from Florida. Paul was happy to see them, but very tired and quiet. It was strange because he's been counting the days until Nellie arrived for at least 6 weeks. Anyway he went to bed early. The next morning he had NO memory of Anyone being here. I tried to remind him by telling him where we sat, what we ate, etc but nothing registered. I told him I had even let him have cake.Two different kinds in fact. I thought for sure that would jog his memory, but his only response to that was," If I don't remember it , then it doesn't count."
There were several other examples of this behavior. I called Joe King at one point, and he assured me that we had seen him bounce back many a time, so hang in.
The next day was even scarier. We talked about some major things from his past that he had no memory of at all.It was starting to upset him , so at that point I told him that the past was the past ,and we didn't need to worry about it anyway. We would just live directly in the moment. I also told him not to worry if he forgot me ,because I would never forget him, and I would take good care of him. These were not easy days. By Saturday night I thought that maybe adding another steroid would help. That has us up to 7mg a day.He kept apologizing for being "out of it". He apologized for having to ask me the same thing over and over. I told him if he asked me something a million times I would answer him a million times, so he could stop apologizing.
Saturday was when the crazy storm had knocked out most of the power in NJ. Thank God our house came through unscathed. I know it wouldn't have put me over the edge, but it would have got me close.So on Saturday Nellie and Matt came and spent the night. On Sunday morning I rolled over and looked at Paul and said, "Do you know who stayed here last night?" He replied Matt and Nellie and then told me what we had for dinner , which he followed with the announcement, "I'm back!" I called Joe and let him know our boy had BOUNCED again. Oh , Happy Day!!!
By Sunday Megan and family had thrown in the towel trying to live in the hot house, running their freezer with the neighbors generator ,and joined us. All of us ended up in the pool, even Paul. That night we dined on Megan's Spaghetti and Meatballs. Just as we were discussing where everyone was going to sleep, Meg got a call from her neighbor saying the power was on. So they high tailed it back to their own beds.
Nellie stayed again and took Paul out to lunch and ran errands for me so that I could get some work done.She took him to check on his boat. He told me he saw Mary Schmelzer and talked to her just fine. He was happy with his progress. Nellie really enjoyed having some one on one time with her brother. That evening, his brother Michael surprised us with a visit. It was great. The next morning they took him out for breakfast and bought him early birthday presents. Some XX shirts and some XL pants.He is going to be STYLING!!!! Michael also got us a new pool ladder to replace the broken one I had been using. He had a great morning with you two. I miss you guys already.
When I had some free time I called the PA Karen. We had to discuss what the next course of action is going to be. She said he still needs to take time off the Avastin so that the kidneys and blood pressure can stabilize. After awhile they might try a different chemo, but she did say that pretty much anything will hurt his kidneys, so we are sort of between a rock and a hard place. For now we are just hoping that this break gives him time to get healthy enough to withstand whatever they come up with next.There's not much to do, but do what we do. Its worked for us so far, so why mess with success. Stay with us people. Team Callahan has added a few new members,Candy, Fred , and Willie. The more the merrier.Pray, or whatever it is you do. Positivity is what this team is all about.
A special hope that everyone is keeping cool. That everyone has a fun and safe Fourth of July. Say some extra prayers for Gary Jost.He fought a tree and lost while on the job trying to save people's power. He's fine ,but pretty beat up. And pray Cailin finds a good car to buy soon with the help of Jim B.And thanks to Chris Paisley for helping out in so many ways.We sure do surround ourselves with some quality people. We are so blessed and lucky to have the friends we do.
That's it for now. I do believe I am done work for the day. How cool is that!!! love, Doreen
I have a favor to ask. If you forward these emails to anyone just let me know how many people you send it to. I'm trying to get a better picture of who else is on our side. My official email count is 152,but I know for a fact that so many of you forward this everywhere to everyone. And between my customers, Cailin's friends, customers, and blog readers,all the prayer groups we are on, etc we have enough of us to start our own country by now.
I do believe we are going to the beach tomorrow. The only thing that would keep us away would be bugs."
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