not all who wander are lost.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Fresh Fall.

Oh me oh my, the changing of seasons...what a clusterfuck of emotions and physical sensations. Where to begin? After the 5-day-prep-Moroccan-feast, I felt like I was coming down off of a high. Not that it was a distraction from some stuff that's been going on internally for me, but it was a healthy distraction keeping me busy (doing what I love to do). I woke up Monday feeling pretty shitty. I was a bit congested, my eyes felt heavy, and my head was a bit foggy. I covered Michelle's class for her, hung with my friend Julie all afternoon at Who's on First, and then gave a Thai Massage at the Zen Den (which was a beautiful space to receive).

The Zen Den in Ocean City also serves as a great space to receive Thai Massage. With the change of seasons, Thai  Massage is a great way to move stagnant energy that's in the body, and to help cleanse the body of any toxins. 


After the massage I went to Ari's Sweat Express class because I needed to physically and emotionally detox. As we flowed through the practice, and up through our chakras, I tried to keep my eyes closed and mediate on the chakra that we were engaging and opening. I don't know if it was the playlist, or if I was successful in opening each.and.every.chakra, or if I just haven't practiced under someone else in so long - but I started crying when we were on the throat chakra and didn't stop until well after class was over. I was holding back tears until Ari said (of the throat chakra) "an imbalance in this chakra is when we want to say something but we haven't, or we have been holding back what we want to say. Well, the time is now." I just thought of all the things that I want to say to my Dad, that I wanted to say to my Dad, and that I'll never be able to say to him - and it just opened the flood gates. I cried, and cried, and cried. And though I don't think it's good to hold back tears - I was desperately trying because I just didn't want to be sobbing in front of this community that I love. I just wanted to be alone. I got a few great hugs at the end of class, which always feels good - but again, the flood gates were opened and there was nothing that was going to stop it. Poor Ari had my snot all over her shoulder from me dry heaving through her embrace.... Got home, cried with my mom, then did what I do when I'm sad : I cooked.

Cailins Spicy Sadness Soup: (P*if you leave out chickpeas, V, VG)


  • 1 leek
  • 1 carrot
  • 1 celery 
  • 1 bunch of kale
  • 1 can of chickpeas
  • coconut oil
  • vegetable broth
  • curry
  • Sriracha *Chili Garlic 


Dice and sautee the leek, carrot and celery in the bottom of the soup pot along with a big scoop of coconut oil. Clean, de-rib and chop up kale...add to the pot.Cover and cook about 10minutes. Add vegetable broth to cover the veggies, a large scoop of the sriracha chili garlic sauce, and a generous few shakes of curry powder. Add in another big spoonful of coconut oil for some healthy fats. Cover and let simmer for about 5 minutes before adding the (rinsed) chick peas. Let simmer a few minutes and then enjoy. 

Cold weather makes me crave warm, spicy foods. This spur-of-the moment creation hit the spot. 

After eating the whole pot of spicy soup I took two benadryl and was asleep by 10pm. I woke up the next afternoon at 12:30pm. I guess that my body needed sleep. A lot of sleep. More sleep than I've ever had in my life. When I woke up I housed a bowl of cereal and then some spicy Moroccan leftovers before retiring to the couch. Another *this never ever happens* happened...I laid on the couch and watched TV!!! ALL AFTERNOON! I was only awake for about 3 hours and then my eyes started to feel heavy again. I'm so grateful for my Mom who encouraged me to sleep and do nothing - because if she wasn't there yelling at me to relax then I would have been cleaning the house and doing work because I felt the need to "do something". So, at her advice, I laid down in my bed and took a nap for two and a half hours. Woke up, ravenous, craving pizza and television. So I cuddled up onto the couch again - enjoyed some pizza and TV, and then was back to sleep by 10. I woke up this morning not yet feeling 100%, but feeling a thousand times better than I did yesterday. I taught this mornings class and then caught a few waves in Sea Isle with my buddy Johnny DiGenni. It felt good to be in the water and in the sunshine, it felt great to be able to clear my head from the hoard of snot that is determined to clog my brain, and it felt great to laugh with Johnny -- he is the funniest motherfucker that you will ever meet, I promise.


Nothing like a natural-Neti....a dip in the ocean. Enjoyed a fun surf today in the warm water with my good friend Johnny. 
Got home and was craving Fresh and Cruncy and Spicy. Lucky me, my Mom had just roasted Duck breasts - so I decided on creating an epic salad (credit goes to Doreen on this one, who inspired this salad many moons ago)...

Spicy Crunchy Asian Salad with Roasted Duck Breast:


Crunchy Asian Salad with Roasted Duck Breast.



  • small handful Chopped romaine (only the hearts, not the green leafy bit)
  • 1 carrot
  • 1 celery
  • 1/4 red bell pepper
  • red cabbage
  • green cabbage
  • sunflower seeds
  • duck breast

Homemade Asian Vinaigrette.

Dressing:

  • Sriracha Chili Garlic
  • Spring Roll Sauce
  • Toasted Sesame Oil
  • ground Ginger
  • Rice Vinegar


The assemblage is pretty self explanatory. Chop up produce and put in a bowl. Remove any fat and skin from the duck breast and then shred and place on salad. The dressing is pretty self-explanatory as well....a scoop of spicy sriracha, a good amount of spring roll sauce, a drizzle of sesame oil, a sprinkle of ground ginger and then rice vinegar to finish it off. Whisk it together and throw it over the salad. And since I like this crunchy salad extra spicy, I always sprinkle cayenne pepper as a final touch. BadaBing...enjoy.



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