Let Us Rise Up...

I am so grateful for hip hop music. I am grateful for the inspiration that it gives me to move my body freely, fluidly and without any restrictions. I'm grateful that it lead me to teaching "HIP HOP YOGA" classes, where everyone simply let's loose, has fun, and moves into their inner Golden Buddha. I am grateful for our amazing community, of which is scattered around the globe. This morning Kelly Croce drove down from Villanova, Michael and Maddie came up from Cape May, The Greens were in from Chicago, Paige was in from colorado, and Gene was in from Michigan. The crew was back together again, and it was amazing. I am particularly grateful for Jeff,one of my favorite yoga students, who celebrated his birthday this year with us, booty popping, gangsta-MUDRA-throwin' and singing to the top if his lungs. I am so happy, so thankful, and so full of love! Namaste...muthafuckas! 

 Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us be thankful. --The Buddha

Sent from my iPad

Thanksgiving

 

This was the second Thanksgiving without my Dad. Last year was tough...it had only been a few weeks since he'd passed. My mom and I had spent the evening at the house, just the two of us, for a quiet, loving dinner...neither of us feeling up to the social encounters that the holiday holds. It was perfect and I was grateful for the alone time as part of my healing. This year I feel so much stronger than I was the last, and I feel a gentle peace and surrender when I think of my Dad. We did thanksgiving at home again this year, just the two of us, with me cooking a delicious and healthy dinner. We didn't talk about him much, but that's because we don't have to. Do you talk about the air? No, not really- but that's because it's everywhere...you just know. And that's how I feel about dad. So despite the inevitable sadness each day without him holds, I woke up smiling because he exists within me. And for that realization I'm grateful. God Bless.

Friendsgiving

Samantha, Me, Kaitlin and Bridget

What started out as a glorified kegger turned into a most glorious gathering...

My great friends John and Bridget own the Whitebriar in Avalon. They needed to empty out the kegs now that the season is over so they decided to invite a few friends over. Then the idea came up to do a Friendsgiving Feast, which was brilliant! John provided the turkey and the rest of us (all 25!) pitched in by bringing something as well. You all know that I love a good potluck, and this takes the cake as one of the biggest and best I've been to. Bridget set the table at the Whitebriar as if we were sitting down for a real thanksgiving dinner. The fireplace was going, everyone was dressed up, and you could feel the love. I felt a bit emotional at one point in the evening (gah, what's new there!?) because my friends love me so so much, and I, them. Despite going away for months at a time every year, we always pick up exactly where we left off...we love each other just as much if not more when we reunite...and despite the changes (Samantha and joe get married next week, Brian and Kaitlin got married last month, and john and Bridget had a baby two months ago) we are all growing together. So for this, I am THANKFUL. What better way to celebrate a holiday rooted in gratitude than with your beautiful friends?!

T-Day Top Secret Recipes

We have been surrounded by family and friends constantly for the past 3 years, so this Thanksgiving when my Mom asked me what I wanted to do, I replied "Nothing. You and Me, I want to cook, and I want to be at our house". So...that's what we did. I made a dish that was inspired by a meal that my friend Emily and I had at SALT in Boulder, Colorado...but the recipe is 100% original. 

Roast Duck Breast over Goat Cheese Lentils 

with a Blueberry Vinegar reduction and Creamy Kale. (P)

Blueberry Apple Cider Vinegar Reduction: (P, V, VG)

• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1 teaspoon agave nectar
• 1/2 pint of blueberrys
• fresh sage, fresh thyme, fresh rosemary...two sprigs each.

When you reduce vinegars, you get rid of a lot of the acidity and you heighten the sweetness....so reduced vinegars are great on everything from salads, to fruit, cheeses, meats, and even ice cream! I usually do balsamic reductions, but I felt that apple cider vinegar would be the best fit for the Mallard duck breasts. I infused the vinegar with fresh herbs, which simply means that I added a bit of fresh sage, thyme and rosemary to the pot. You cook the vinegar down over a medium heat for about 30minutes or so (you want it to reduce to less than half). I also added a half pint of blueberries to the mixture, and the end result was a bright purple reduction that was out of this world. Be sure to remove the herbs from the pot before serving. 

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Creamy Goat Cheese Lentils: (VG)

• 1 small log of goat cheese
• 1 cup French Lentils
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 clove of garlic
• 1 clove
• vegetable broth

Cook the lentils as you would....and if you're new to lentils, don't be intimidated. Simple rinse them and then put them in a skillet and cover them with water and bring to a mid-high to high heat. In about 5minutes you will have pre-cooked the lentils and the water will be gone. Add to the skillet the bay leaf, clove of garlic (whole, unchopped!), and the clove. Cover the lentils again, with vegetable broth, and bring back to med-high heat so it's simmering for about 25minutes. Depending upon how creamy you'd like the lentils you'll use anywhere from 1/2 the log to the full log of cheese. Simple crumble it over the warm lentils and it will start to melt into them. 

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Creamy Kale : (VG, P)

• 1 very large head of Kale
• salt and pepper
• nutmeg
• heavy cream (1/2cup to 1 1/2 cup)

First you'll de-rib the kale (simply pulling the greens off the dense bitter ribs of the kale). Wash it and then bring a pot of salted water to a boil, a ROLLING boil. You blanch the kale first, so a few minutes in the pot in the boiling water. Then drain it and in a skillet put your blanched kale and heavy cream and let it cook down for about 15minutes over med-high heat as the cream starts to thicken. I only used half a cup of heavy cream but if you want really creamy kale then obviously just add more! Season with a touch of salt and pepper (you really wont need much salt since you blanched the kale in salted water) and a generous sprinkling of *NUTMEG* <<< it sounds weird, but it's the finishing touch for sure. **This can be PALEO if you use coconut milk**

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Roast Duck:

• duck breast (we used Mallard)
• salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees fahrenheit. Season with a touch of salt and pepp. Sear the duck breast on each side in a hot skillet...this seals in the juices. You only sear it for about two minutes or so on each side, so don't walk away from the stove. To finish off the duck put it in a pan in the oven for about 8minutes. Boom. LET IT REST for at least 5 minutes and then thinly slice it on an angle. 

This is thanksgiving recipe is PALEO if you leave out the lentils and cook the kale with coconut milk instead of heavy creamy*. This would be just as delicious if served over the creamed kale and was topped with the reduction.

HAM on Thanksgiving...

This will be my first Thanksgiving without my Dad. I miss the shit outta him. I think of him all day, every day...when I'm happy, sad, busy, tired... -- always. And as sad as I am today, wishing that he was here, that sadness is trumped by overwhelming gratitude. You know that feeling, like when you're throat tightens and your heart feels like it's taking up your whole chest? It's truly overwhelming. I've cried a few times today, but the tears were because I just feel so grateful that the energy had to move somewhere, somehow. My life has been so bountiful, and every day I encounter and experience more beautiful moments than I can count. I have the most outstanding, fucking powerful and amazing friends and I'm not sure what I did to deserve them, but I thank the universe for them every day. Hugging them and loving them, telling them how much I appreciate them - it still doesn't seem to do justice to the love and respect that I hold in my heart for them. So THANK YOU to everyone that lifts me up...you've had a heavy load to help me carry this year with the loss of my Dad, and I couldn't have done it without you all. 

I'm grateful for Brookie and Lorraine, for our adventures and our friendship. I'm grateful for nights at the Dead Dog with Johnny DiGenni, and taco nights with Bill and Megan. I'm grateful for YOGA: for my practice, for my ability to teach and share, to the ZEN DEN which has become a home for me and has created a beautiful family for me, and I am grateful for Ari Green for loving me and believing in me, even on days when I didn't love or believe in myself. I'm grateful for Adam Green and his goofy text messages and emojicons, and his constant stoke. I'm grateful for my friend Rob, and his love and enthusiasm for my kitchen creations. I'm grateful for Meg McD and her pure love. I'm grateful for fucking Twilight, cause I love that shit: the books, the soundtracks, the movies. It's an odd addiction, which can't quite be explained, but goddamn it's good. I'm grateful for my Colorado adventures with my beautiful Coloradians Kelsea, Ryan and Emily. I'm grateful for my spiritual family in Encinitas: Gray, Breezie, Jak, Ev, Rachael, Nicole, Liz, Lauren.... it doesn't matter how much time passes, or how many miles separate us, their constant love is felt always. I'm grateful for Living Well...for Donny who has fixed my knee, to Crit Chris Sam and Ryan who have pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped me to realize how fucking powerful I really am. I'm grateful for the crazy CrossFitters that I've become friends with, who I've sweat with and complained with as we challenge our bodies and our minds. Through Living Well I've met Penny and Lou, who always fill me up with laughter. I'm grateful for Toni...who has fed my Mom, Dad and myself all summer...who has kept our wine rack full...and who has spoiled my Mom when my Mom wouldn't do so herself. I'm grateful for Joe and Lori King who have taken care of us before Dad passed, and continue to do so today, we couldn't do it without them and I don't think that they'll ever know how we much love them. I'm grateful for my best friend Julisa, who may live across the country but she's never too far because she lives in my heart. I'm grateful for Gina, for her love of cupcakes and bunnies, for her epic crafting and epic friendship. I'm grateful for our weekly Family Dinners with Brad and Ro...we have shared so many meals around the dinner table, so many laughs, and a fair bit of tears. I'm grateful for my cousin Tierney and her bootylicious backside -- she always knows how to make me laugh, and shes one of the few who got to experience the back bay with my Dad and me. I'm grateful for Adena and Erika and Pammy...my dance partners, my friends, my support, my drinking buddies - they always know what I need and they take me in all of my forms. I'm so very grateful for Chris Paisley who I love fiercely - he has been my rock since day one: he is the person that I can always turn to, no matter what. Chris holds space for my sadness, my anger, my drunkenness, my happiness and my fears...and he does so without judgement and never asks for anything in return. I'm grateful for my Mom, who has shown me what it means to truly be a partner. She has shown me devotion, love, patience and perseverance through lifes darkest moments. She is the strongest woman that I have ever met, a true warrior. I have never seen anyone love another the way that my Dad loved her, it was a beautiful thing to witness every day. And finally, I'm grateful for my Dad. He was the most important person in my world. He was the inspiration for everything I've done...everywhere that I've traveled, everything I've accomplished, everything I've experienced in this lifetime has been fueled by him and in devotion to him. Making him proud has made me happier than any human being could be. It's been quite an adjustment losing my best friend, but I still am inspired by him and aspire to enjoy EACH.AND.EVERY.DAY to it's height and it's depth. Thank you Dad for lighting this fire within me for adventure and for sucking down each and every drop of nectar of this beautiful life. 

Thanksgiving 2011.

Mom and Dad, Thanksgiving 2011.

Dad's famous "plate" photo hahaha. Thanksgiving 2011.

So with all of that gratitude expressed, I have one more thing to be grateful for: Thanksgiving Eve. Sometimes you need to just go out to dance it out and drink it out with good friends, and last night was that night. I drank my body weight in dirty martinis and shook my booty on the dance floor all night with my great friends Erika, Pam, Paisley and Brandon. I woke up in their guest bed this morning with my boots still on and laced up, and with a wicked headache. Erika and I stopped at Starbucks our way to get my car, and despite brushing my teeth 10x I tried to refrain from breathing...vodka was coming out of my pores and Erika and I both looked like we had been through the ringer. Coffees in hand, Erika turned to me and said sometimes you need to go "HAM". I responded with a "Huh?", and she said "HARD AS MOTHERFUCKERS". So cheers to going hard as motherfuckers on Thanksgiving Eve, cause it's just what I needed. Insanely hungover, cappuccino in hand, U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday " blaring through my speakers, I couldn't help but laugh as I drove home. HAM on Thanksgiving, overflowing with Gratitude....

Ham on thanksgiving.

Thanks on Thanksgiving.

Once again, I'm overflowing with gratitude. Thanks to yoga, I now incorporate the act of expressing this gratitude during meditation, during my practice, or even just recognizing it in my mind as I lie in bed at night just before bed...every single day. So, on this Thanksgiving holiday I don't feel the need to express gratitude for every thing, big and small, that I am thankful for - because this has become a daily ritual for me (like how grateful I am for Feist's new "Metals" album, or how thankful I am for my amazing friends, and how infinitely grateful I am for the yoga classes that I've been teaching and the people who have joined in...). Today, I am going to focus on just one thing that I am insanely, abundantly grateful for:

I am grateful that my Dad is reading the newspaper.

The man is a fucking walking, talking miracle. With an expiration date long past due, he lives each day with excitement, positivity and acceptance. He'd given up on reading the newspaper - it became difficult, frustrating and confusing. And then just the other day he declared "I'm going to read that damn newspaper!". It takes a little while, but he made his way through it - and read it yet again this morning. And for this - I am filled with gratitude. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and remember to count and acknowledge your blessings each and every day...the big AND the small....

Thanksgiving Thanks

Bah. I'm crazy. For those of you who know me, you know this. For those of you who don't know me but have read my blog, I'm sure that you are catching on. I'm crazy. Passionate. As Feist sings, "I Feel It All", sometimes too much. I have high high highs and low lows. My dad said to me once, "Cailin, you can't just be happy or sad - you are either overly ecstatic or you take on all the sadness of the world. Too extreme." So I've tried to work on finding a happy medium, but after years of trying and trying, I've just accepted that I'm always gonna be a bit unbalanced! Recently I've been feeling overwhelmed with sadness, I feel it all the way down to my bones. And to add to that, I just realized that I am growing older every day - and that this is LIFE. I'm living it. My mom and my dad aren't going to make decisions for me anymore, I have to make them. My parents aren't going to provide for me anymore, I need to take care of myself. Shit - it's a lot for somebody to process. Anyways, I woke up this morning with swollen, tear-filled eyes, one of those low low days. I drove over to my parents dwelling on all that's been uninvited into my life recently but won't seem to go away. Boohoo. When I got to my parents, my mom gave me a card that said "Sometimes life seems hard but there's always lots to be thankful for. I'm thankful for you." It made all these things I've been worrying about seem so, ridiculous. I have so much to be thankful for.

“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” -Woody Allen

I'm thankful for my Dad, my bearded mountain man who loves me more than anybody ever has or ever will. For his thoughtful advice, his loud mouth, "killem n eatem" and "you're dead to me". Ha, for always making me laugh, teaching me how to surf, how to fish and how to just 'ride the river of life'. I'm thankful for my Mom. She is a force, 'I'm woman hear me roar' - you can feel her presence before you even see her. Since the day I was born she has lived for me with such fierce passion that only mothers have. For her ability to whip up a party for 50 likes it nothing, and how champagne is totally acceptable 365 days of the year, 24 hours a day. I'm thankful for her teaching me how to play my first chord on the guitar, it changed my life. I'm thankful for my beautiful, bunny-loving, wonderfully gifted and artistic, wholesome and giving friend Gina. She makes me a better person just knowing her. Selfless and sincere. I'm thankful for Julia who I've known since birth, and it doesn't matter if we go a minute, an hour, a week, or a year, we always just pick up where we left off. I'm thankful for my friend Sharon and her boyfriend Jeff who have become family, caring for me, feeding me, and making sure I laugh. I'm thankful for Sharon's love of baking pies, and the hours she puts into it, and Jeff's unwavering passion for 3 things: surfing, fishing, and Sharon. I'm thankful for Christian and how he always knows how to make my new song better, make it complete. For his freakishly amazing mind, his love of music, cigarettes, Jeopardy, and his snoopy t-shirt. I'm thankful for Sven's energizer-bunny-energy, his fire for love - particularly Tara, and his child-like-innocence. He's one of the most talented people I have ever met, and he plays the djembe with his whole soul. I'm thankful for my quirky Corkill and her crazy glasses, her Asian travel destinations, her desire to try every food there is and travel to every spec of the globe, and her love for kickball and playing ping-pong with the old Japanese men down the street. I'm thankful for Paul, who is the closest thing I'll have to a brother--for all the nights that he's listened to me laugh, rant, and cry. For giving me a home to live in, rides to the airport, and for being my date-night-dinner-buddy. I'm thankful for Rob Kulisek's beautiful photos and his obsession with everything retro. I'm thankful for Bart's ability to tell the same story over and over and over with just as much enthusiasm as the first time he told it. I'm thankful for Andy and his 'pep-talks', and his drive and determination to be successful - and he does it with integrity. I'm thankful for Emily Bogushefsky and her sweet words that pick me up whenever I'm down. I'm thankful for Strathmere. I'm thankful for Rochelle and her love for Martha Stewart, for Harry's fabulous coffee, Jill's sweet innocence, and Fiona's chubby cheeks. I'm thankful for the blues. For Bonnie Raitt, Mississippi Fred McDowell, Iron & Wine, Cold War Kids, Cat Power, Meiko, Martin Sexton's "Glory Bound" and Gillian Welch's "Revelator". I'm thankful for my ten fingers that play guitar and write songs. I'm thankful for Linda Goodman and all of her astrology books. I'm thankful for Channin and my fabulous, love my of life 9' pintail. I'm thankful for soft-spoken Gordon and his love for Julia, cooking and meat. I'm thankful for Ceceila who has overcome more than anyone a know, and did it with a smile. Jessie for surviving, and coming out 'green'. I'm thankful for everyone I've met and will meet, everywhere I've traveled and will venture to go in the future. I'm thankful for wine, miller high life, and my dad's kick ass gin & tonics {supersized and ice cold}. I'm thankful for surfing, which has saved my life and given every day a purpose. I'm even thankful for ex-boyfriends, who taught me a lot about myself, dealt with my madness, and still care for me to this day. I'm thankful for the internet; myspace for getting my music out there, facebook to keep in touch, and my blog for helping me release some of the madness that's running around in my head.

If I don't stop now, it may never end. My point is, there is SO much to be thankful for. Just step back and look in. I'm thankful that it's Thanksgiving and that I have so much to be thankful for.

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.” -Buddha

Thank you to all of my friends, those mentioned above and those that weren't, you make me complete.

“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” - Albert Schwietzer

HAPPY THANKSGIVING