not all who wander are lost.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Safe + Sacred Space's been a heavy week. Family, friends, life ... sometimes it feels like the universe has handed me more than I'm able to properly handle. But then, there's my yoga mat. 72" x 24" of natural rubber. I often say in class that we practice in a circle to create a safe and sacred space -- a place where you can be fully yourself...where you are free to express any angry, sadness, anxiety or happiness that is pulsing within you. Sometimes I have to remind MYSELF of this as well.... Today I went to Ari's 9:30am vinyasa class. I was fine driving to the studio, chatting with the other yogi's before class, and then the second we began our practice I felt a rush of emotions. The next hour and a half followed with me choking back tears, letting a few escape here and there when we were tucked into childs pose where no one could see my face. And to add to the emotions, the class was full of back-bending, working on opening the heart and the heart chakra -- which just intensified everything I was feeling. When we finally came to savasana I was able to hold back the sobs for a few minutes before they finally bullied their way through. Thinking back I'm not sure why I fought so hard against them...I'm not necessarily worried if others perceive me as weak or vulnerable, it was more of how I was seeing myself as such. I pretty much ran out of the studio after class and got into my car, a private place where I could let it all out. And let it out I did. The whole way home I was having some serious conversations with myself in my head. Fuck, I'm so grateful for yoga and for that damn rubber is the one place that I stop pretending to be so tough and allow myself to be vulnerable and available to really feel exactly what it is I'm feeling. So next time you feel like you don't know where to turn, or feel like you have no one to talk to....take it to your mat. This safe and sacred space is open for whatever you need to release. Thanks to Ari for helping me to work through it and therefore out of it, and thanks to my mat for supporting me - yet again - in this gloriously challenging and exciting adventure of life. Happy Valentines Day everyone <3

"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost

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