not all who wander are lost.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Teacher for You, Teacher for Me.

Yesterday I took Michelle's yoga class @ NJYogaZone. It has been very difficult for me to leave my house, let alone get my ass to yoga. Overwhelmingly difficult. I was hoping that my jaunt in Ojai at the Crib would reinspire me, give my yoga practice the UMPH it needed. I studied under some of the most famous instructors in the industry: Noah Maze + Jason Crandell. Yoga ROCKSTARS. Their classes were great and super informative, definitely helping me to become a better teacher - but for some reason their classes didn't really resonate with me {spiritually}. Why? I don't know. I went with the expectation that I was going to be experiencing the best class of my entire existence {again - expectations...bad.} When I was unaffected by these amazing teachers, I thought that maybe I was broken. Like...I was in such a bad place that even yoga couldn't help me, because clearly if these famous instructors couldn't break through this fog then nobody could! With hesitation I headed to Michelle's class...worried that I'd seriously lost my saving grace, yoga...the one thing that always helps me out: making me a stronger person mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally.

Michelle started class with,

"Lazy. Dedicated. Peace. Fierce. Challenged. Happiness. Joy. Necessary. Failing. Repetitive. Evolving. -- These were the responses to the question WHAT ONE WORD DESCRIBES YOUR YOGA PRACTICE RIGHT NOW?" Well, that was easy for me - uninspired. Nonexistent. Then, we set our intention for class, mine being to become INSPIRED again with this way of life that means so much to I can be a better me, for myself and for my family - especially for my Dad.

The first half of class I flowed through but still wasn't fully present, trying to focus on my intention. And then somewhere in the middle it hit me. I think I was in side angle and BOOM, I choked back tears. Hallelujah! There IS something to make me feel better again. I don't know where it went, but it's back. I made my way through the rest of class and then eventually settled into Savasana. I began to relax, focus on my breath, focus on my intention, and then without any warning I just started to cry. At first there were just a few tears rolling down, but it was like the floodgates opened - there was nothing I could do to stop them. It took everything inside of me to choke back sobs. It felt good to feel again. Where I'm going with all of this is that there is a teacher for everyone...some will resonate with you, and some won't. Just because someone is famous doesn't mean that their practice is the one for you. I'm grateful to have studied under these outstanding instructors, but I'm even more grateful having Michelle. I feel safe with her - she teaches a physically challenging class, lined and enriched with the spiritual essence of yoga that I crave. Yesterday she created a safe haven for me in this tiny little sweat it out, to stretch it out and to cry it out. Someday we outgrow our teachers or what it is that we look for in a practice, and need to move on. But until that day, I will be thankful for having a fabulous teacher in Michelle. Right now what I cannot seem to work out in my daily life, I was able to work out on my mat. Thank you yoga - for this gift. Thank you Michelle, for your gift. Namaste.

Michelle, and her daughter Sophie.

Michelle teaches Mondays @ 9:30am at NJYogaZone in Margate.
Check out her blog:

1 comment:

  1. I so loved reading this and am happy for your breakthrough....You are such an inspiration more way than I can begin to list. Pat