not all who wander are lost.

Thursday, February 13, 2014


Today my Nana passed away at age 92. We knew that this was coming and I take comfort in the fact that her and I had a great conversation together one week before I left New Jersey. She was sharp as tack when we'd spoken and we covered all the important stuff...and when I said goodbye I knew that it would be our last.

I'm not really sure how the afterlife works, but id like to think that my Dad and her are getting to be together somewhere in the cosmic scheme of things. My Dad was one of Glams TEN children, but I think that he was the one responsible for every gray hair on her head! Ha!

As I sit across the world, experiencing this loss through Facebook and online messages, I can't help but to have a heavy heart, but this sadness is for my Dad. And maybe, if I'm being honest, for myself. For my loss. It's been a year and a half since he's moved into his next phase of existence, but sometimes it still doesn't feel real. Does that make sense? Sometimes I still pick up the phone to call ask his advice, or just to say hello.

And so, I'm feeling a bit sad. But that's the name of the game. Highs and lows. Happiness and sadness. This is life, no? Tonight I'm going to go to bed with the comforting thought of Nan and Dad, laughing it up in heaven, with Glam saying (in that way she always did), "oh Paul...."

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things."

~ Mary Oliver ~

Meanwhile, the world goes on....

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