Baller On A Budget

Heaven is expensive. Go ahead, laugh…but it’s true. People are always saying “Oh man, Mexico is so cheap…Costa is so expensive”…well, I say bullshit. The only way that Mexico is wallet friendly is if you are camping and cooking your own food. Lagarto, you told me about all of these little taco stands that have tacos 3x $1….they don’t exist anymore - atleast not within a 20mile radius of Heaven. Now, I’m not complaining, but – well, I’m complaining. And it’s not just me, I’ve heard this complaint from just about everyone under the sun here. The only person who has it wired is Bill. He drives his truck with a camper on top down to Mex and camps under a palapa for $5 a night. He cooks every single one of his meals, except for Tuesday nights when he goes out for Chile Rellanos which are $5. But for the average bear who isn’t driving down a camper for a few months, Mex is burnin’ through our pockets muy rapido. For example, the cheapest place to stay in town is $55 a night. That’s crazy! With my Spanish I bargained and bargained, threw my hands in the air, kicked the sand and finally got the Shack for $30 a night because we were staying for two weeks. In Costa I had a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home with a pool, a huge backyard, a view of the ocean, internet, a cool breeze because we were atop the hill and a ginormous kitchen…which worked out to be $35 a night. In Costa you have the option to live dirt cheap or let the cash flow – in Heaven, I’m finding it difficult to live on my somewhat strict budget. Internet is just under $5 an hour which may not seem like much but when you are spending five bucks a day it adds up…quickly. I had two shots of tequila at the bar last night, in Mexico – the LAND OF TEQUILA…it was $8. FOUR DOLLARS A SHOT. I thought that tequila was supposed to be cheaper than water? Bent on my camera that drowned, my split lip, expensive internet and shots of tequila I rallied some of my other frugal frustrated friends and we all went in on a bottle of tequila together so we could drown our sorrows. Again, it was listed at 200pesos for a bottle, but somehow when we went to pay it was 250pesos. I guess that when they realized we wanted it that they could charge us extra…and we were so bent on being ripped off, we just paid it! G’dang I say! Scott, his girlfriend Alex, Jamie, Miles, his brother, Zoe and I all headed back to the Shack, started up a fire and started drinking tequila out of coffee cups, bowls and cleaned out yogurt containers. Two guitars were making their way around the circle and we just enjoyed some good time, inexpensive fun. Now, the crazy thing about tequila is that you keep drinking and drinking and you’re not drunk…until you’re drunk. I sipped on tequila for well over an hour, occasionally taking a bite of lime here and there. And then it was like a light switch was flicked and I had a tingly feeling all over. Boom, I was drunk. Woke up this morning feeling like a million bucks – tequila, you are too kind. Had some coffee and shook all the bad vibes away. Heaven, you are expensive – but I still love you. Next time though I’m going to Honduras or Guatemala because this girl is a baller on a budget.