not all who wander are lost.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Desert Jewel and Danny
Holy mackerel, what a day!
Our class started at 6:30am, and the tears started for me by 6:31am....not stopping until well after breakfast. Danny Arguetty has a way of coaxing your deepest, darkest, most sacred and secret pains, fears and joys out of their hiding place and placing them directly in front of your face. Boom. Or, should I say "WHAM!" When Danny guides me through class I feel like he is writing poetry, with my body and my breathe becoming the most beautiful, intimate and authentic poem. He is very calm, articulate and gentle with his lesson plan as well as with his delivery. A good teacher will have a great warm up, a balanced, inspiring sequence and an intention woven into class. A great teacher is one who lives their yoga, and this shines through into their teaching. It's one of those things that's unspoken, but is incredibly tangible. Danny is one of the very few teachers who actually lives yoga, and therefore being in his presence you cannot help but to be inspired, transformed and challenged to rise up to your highest self. His classes nourish a part of me that has never been touched by another. And this mornings class had more healing and nourishment in it than all of the yoga classes that I've taken this past year combined. Wow. Mind blown.
And so, I cried. A lot. From the start of the practice until my last sip of tea at the breakfast table. It was exhausting, but necessary, and I am so grateful that the flow he created and the space that he held was able to help me move through and get rid of some of this grief that's just been *stuck* inside of me. As he's teaching us in this Advanced Vinyasa and Tantra training- vinyasa is a way to help us to reconnect with the rhythm of life...to feel fully. To reconnect with our innermost workings....
After class and brekky, we went on an excursion, hopping a push-boat, slowly cruising through the famed "backwaters" of Kerala. We made our way to a shanti little beach where we all sipped on fresh coconuts and had a dip in the Arabian Sea. And this dip was perhaps the most exciting part of the day, because it was Jo's **first ever** swim in the OCEAN! So a bit about Josephine...Jo is without a doubt my best friend here, and I think that the most important thing that I will take away from this training will be her friendship. As amazing as Danny is, I know that this experience without her here with me would be incredibly, incredibly different. We start talking before the training, having met on our TT's private Facebook page. We hit it off instantly and conversation flowed freely and deeply via gmail as we got to know one another- her in Arizona, me in Jersey. When we met it was like being reunited with an old friend...warm, familiar and safe. Jo is a desert jewel, having lived most of her 29 years in the dry, vast, mysterious desert- raised by hippy parents and surrounded by cactus and country folk. I, on the other hand, was raised on the sea- in the sea- and feel like I am *of* the sea. As we all prepared for a swim today, I could tell her hesitation. She asked me if I wouldn't mind helping her...explaining the waves, comforting her fear and assisting her with her first ever swim in the ocean. It was magical! I cannot wrap my head around 29 years without a relationship with the sea! But here she was! She was so scared, but equally excited- and completely trusting in my promise to help her along the way no matter what came up. She's been glowing the whole day, and so have I (or maybe it's all the sweat?!). We both overcame big fears today, and we couldn't have done it without the support of one another! I am so grateful that I am able to be here, in this beautiful country, with this amazing teacher and to journey deeper within- uncovering layers, discarding layers, and creating new layers- all with the loving support and friendship of my desert jewel, Jo!
Our class started at 6:30am, and the tears started for me by 6:31am....not stopping until well after breakfast. Danny Arguetty has a way of coaxing your deepest, darkest, most sacred and secret pains, fears and joys out of their hiding place and placing them directly in front of your face. Boom. Or, should I say "WHAM!" When Danny guides me through class I feel like he is writing poetry, with my body and my breathe becoming the most beautiful, intimate and authentic poem. He is very calm, articulate and gentle with his lesson plan as well as with his delivery. A good teacher will have a great warm up, a balanced, inspiring sequence and an intention woven into class. A great teacher is one who lives their yoga, and this shines through into their teaching. It's one of those things that's unspoken, but is incredibly tangible. Danny is one of the very few teachers who actually lives yoga, and therefore being in his presence you cannot help but to be inspired, transformed and challenged to rise up to your highest self. His classes nourish a part of me that has never been touched by another. And this mornings class had more healing and nourishment in it than all of the yoga classes that I've taken this past year combined. Wow. Mind blown.
And so, I cried. A lot. From the start of the practice until my last sip of tea at the breakfast table. It was exhausting, but necessary, and I am so grateful that the flow he created and the space that he held was able to help me move through and get rid of some of this grief that's just been *stuck* inside of me. As he's teaching us in this Advanced Vinyasa and Tantra training- vinyasa is a way to help us to reconnect with the rhythm of life...to feel fully. To reconnect with our innermost workings....
After class and brekky, we went on an excursion, hopping a push-boat, slowly cruising through the famed "backwaters" of Kerala. We made our way to a shanti little beach where we all sipped on fresh coconuts and had a dip in the Arabian Sea. And this dip was perhaps the most exciting part of the day, because it was Jo's **first ever** swim in the OCEAN! So a bit about Josephine...Jo is without a doubt my best friend here, and I think that the most important thing that I will take away from this training will be her friendship. As amazing as Danny is, I know that this experience without her here with me would be incredibly, incredibly different. We start talking before the training, having met on our TT's private Facebook page. We hit it off instantly and conversation flowed freely and deeply via gmail as we got to know one another- her in Arizona, me in Jersey. When we met it was like being reunited with an old friend...warm, familiar and safe. Jo is a desert jewel, having lived most of her 29 years in the dry, vast, mysterious desert- raised by hippy parents and surrounded by cactus and country folk. I, on the other hand, was raised on the sea- in the sea- and feel like I am *of* the sea. As we all prepared for a swim today, I could tell her hesitation. She asked me if I wouldn't mind helping her...explaining the waves, comforting her fear and assisting her with her first ever swim in the ocean. It was magical! I cannot wrap my head around 29 years without a relationship with the sea! But here she was! She was so scared, but equally excited- and completely trusting in my promise to help her along the way no matter what came up. She's been glowing the whole day, and so have I (or maybe it's all the sweat?!). We both overcame big fears today, and we couldn't have done it without the support of one another! I am so grateful that I am able to be here, in this beautiful country, with this amazing teacher and to journey deeper within- uncovering layers, discarding layers, and creating new layers- all with the loving support and friendship of my desert jewel, Jo!
Getting down...
Getting down and dirty with some badass advanced sequencing...building from the ground up. Prepare yourself for some seriously BADASS retreats, workshops, classes and trainings!!!!
***STILL A FEW SPOTS LEFT FOR MY APRIL EASTER YOGA RETREAT APR20-25th at RANCHO LAS CRUCES in Baja Mexico**** Message me at cailin.callahan@gmail.com with questions or to reserve your spot :)
***STILL A FEW SPOTS LEFT FOR MY APRIL EASTER YOGA RETREAT APR20-25th at RANCHO LAS CRUCES in Baja Mexico**** Message me at cailin.callahan@gmail.com with questions or to reserve your spot :)
Monday, March 17, 2014
Tantra
I am studying Advanced Vinyasa and Tantra (of the Rajanaka Shakta path). When I tell people this they respond with "So, you're studying sex?" or other things along this line. And I don't blame them, I wasn't quite sure what tantra was before this training either. So, for everyone who's asking- this is, in my own words (and those of my dear friend Josephine) a short journey into the definition of Tantra Yoga:
Rajanaka (Sanskrit)

: prince/princess
"Instead of trying to be top dog, the rajanaka simply wants to do enough to still be sovereign but to also honor the natural uncertainty of life. Receptivity. Holding space for possibility.
Tantra (Sanskrit)
: loom, framework. Invites us to stretch, expand, spread. To bridge, connect.
The tantric path is about empowerment, and embracing this beautiful life as a gift. Other schools of thought teach that life is a problem to be solved, and experience to "survive"- but Tantra is the opposite - it's not about getting OUT of the human experience- it's about getting IN to it...actively participating with it...co-creating the life you want, and shaping your own destiny. Whereas other lineages of yoga preach renunciation of desires, emotions and people- Tantra teaches us to embrace these- they are a tool for our continued evolution. Use relationships to help the process of self-discovery and self-inquiry; Bringing awareness to our attachments and (mindfully) keep what serves you and detach from what does not. Desire is not a bad thing, but instead desire is there to guide us.
There is no "end goal", no "awakening", and no "arrival". Life is simply moments- a series of moments - each a blessing to be lived and savored...for us to experience and enjoy. In these moments we are open to our continual evolution, to the process of life, and to all of its infinite possibilities- while simultaneously embracing our [current] perfection. Tantra is about owning our self-worth and recognizing that we aren't limited. There is no destination, arrival is an illusion; the process is celebration not purification.
My beautiful friend Jo wrote a lovely definition for what Tantra yoga is, which I want to share as well...
Freedom is your birthright, woven one you and me and everything. Finding the fullness in each process, feeling fully, the sweet, the pain, the mundane. There is no end point, only more to see. We take turns leading, letting go of control and proceeding through boundaries. Whether you sit or stand, walk or run, they are all worthy states of being. You are not alone, I am you, you are me, we are everything.
Sent from my iPad
Sunday, March 16, 2014
500 hours.....
And so I'm here, at Soomatheram Ayurvedic Resort and Spa in Kerala, India to (continue) my yoga education...working towards a 500hour certificate. My teacher is Danny Arguetty, whom is based out of San Diego and is a friend and colleague of one of my most inspiring teachers, Katie Brauer. Pardon me, but this place is *fucking luxury*. It is definitely far different than the India that I have experienced. Soomatheram was actually voted the best Ayurvedic resort in southern India for the past ten years in a row. It's spread out over a cliff, with green plants, trees and herbs all around, creating a "secret garden" kind of feel...looking out over the Arabian Sea. There aren't your typical sounds of India (bus, horns, shouting, spitting, etc,.), just the gentle sound of the ocean and a few birds singing. My room has a proper toilet, toilet paper, hot water, and a shower head (no bucket showers!), all of which are luxuries that I'm not quite accustomed to. Needless to say, I still use the "bum gun" over tp, and a cold bucket "shower" instead of the shower head. But the best part of all has to be the food. I made quick friends with Ramesh, the man who runs the show in the dining hall. Meals are served buffet style 3x a day...with water, fresh juice, tea and herbal concoctions available throughout the day. I have been visiting several times a day to get my chai fix....after all, I paid a small fortune for this training so I'm going to get my money's worth of chai! Ha! And because this is a 'proper' Ayurvedic resort I was a bit worried that id miss the "real food" of India that I love so dearly. But alas, it's here! And better yet is that it's cooked with ghee instead of vegetable oil (which the local stalls have been using to save money), as well as really high quality spices. I've already set my food mantra as "just because you can, doesn't mean you should", and I'm trying to eat slowly slowly. They have fine silverware here, but I find that eating with my hands is what I enjoy best. You eat slower, savor more- and it just tastes better this way.
I'm off for training now but will be sharing as much and as often as is possible. The training has only 7 people which is ammmmmazing. I look forward to the connections and transformations that are ahead. Jai Saraswsti! God bless.
I'm off for training now but will be sharing as much and as often as is possible. The training has only 7 people which is ammmmmazing. I look forward to the connections and transformations that are ahead. Jai Saraswsti! God bless.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Last day in Varkala, last day of Ayurvedic treatments! I have been having so much fun relaxing by the seaside. It was a nice surprise to have my friend Dorf (we are friends from Sri Lanka) come visit these past few days, filling my time with extra laughter and swimming adventures. And now...I'm off to start my 500hour teacher training!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Hari Om, Haridas.
"Teacher
My teacher
I bow to you
With
Folded hands".
It takes a while to find your teacher, but when you did find them, you just know. And so it was with Haridas. I had taken a few classes here in Varkala, with "well-known" teachers and "the best", but I knew that there was something out there that was a better fit for me. Haridas teaches in a no-muss, no-fuss, quasi-basement "studio" in the Hotel Green Palace. It reminds me a lot of the sterile, random space where my beloved teacher Surinder Singh teaches in Rishikesh. There were only four of us, and damn- we were the luckiest, happiest four people in all of southern India. Haridas teaches a Sivananda style Hatha class, and he gives some badass adjustments and assists (which I will definitely be sharing with all of you students of mine!). I practice two hours in the morning and two in the evening. It takes more than a half hour to walk to his class, so there's 2 hours of walking too, which is a nice physical and mental warm up for my practice. I start my 500hour training on Saturday, but I feel like my training has already begun! Hari Om, Haridas!
My teacher
I bow to you
With
Folded hands".
It takes a while to find your teacher, but when you did find them, you just know. And so it was with Haridas. I had taken a few classes here in Varkala, with "well-known" teachers and "the best", but I knew that there was something out there that was a better fit for me. Haridas teaches in a no-muss, no-fuss, quasi-basement "studio" in the Hotel Green Palace. It reminds me a lot of the sterile, random space where my beloved teacher Surinder Singh teaches in Rishikesh. There were only four of us, and damn- we were the luckiest, happiest four people in all of southern India. Haridas teaches a Sivananda style Hatha class, and he gives some badass adjustments and assists (which I will definitely be sharing with all of you students of mine!). I practice two hours in the morning and two in the evening. It takes more than a half hour to walk to his class, so there's 2 hours of walking too, which is a nice physical and mental warm up for my practice. I start my 500hour training on Saturday, but I feel like my training has already begun! Hari Om, Haridas!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Wonderful Waxing!
Big ups to my girl Lakshmi for the best waxing experience that I've ever had in all of Asia!! As some of you may remember, I have compared getting waxed in the East as a bit like playing Russian Roulette...you never know what you're going to get, which makes it exciting and slightly terrifying. I have had some traumatizing experiences getting waxed in Asia, but I still find it to be better than shaving with the shitty one-blade razors that they sell here (yes, they still MAKE one blade razors, who knew!), which don't even remove hair, they just trim it! In Cambodia I lost some skin with a bikini wax, in Sri Lanka my beautician tried actively NOT to touch my yoni or anywhere near it for that matter- which made for an interesting experience considering it was a bikini wax, and in Thailand I had an odd experience that involved three women staring at my yoni talking about how they were going to wax. Ayeyaya. You get the jist, yea?
And so, I'm here in India, hairy as a monster, and I came across Lakshmi. Jai Lakshmi! Maha Shree Lakshmi Namaha! As soon as I walked into her tiny "beauty shop", with the fake flowers out front and incense burning, I KNEW that I was in good hands. Lakshmi just has that "warm, mama energy". It was insta-love....
I laid on the table and she said "pain first"...and so it was, bikini wax. It actually wasn't nearly as painful as other experiences I've had, and was nearly identical to the experiences I've had in western studios back home (yet, for a fraction of the price...bikini wax with Lakshmi is 350rs which is $5.75). She did a PROPER bikini wax, and then proceeded to make her way through my incredibly-long, almost-a-dirty-hippy-underarms. Finally, threading. I never get my eyebrows done, and I've never tried threading- but I was keen to give it a go, and I simply LOVE all of the Indian women's eyebrows. It hurt a bit, but goddamn, don't mind if I brag-- but my eyebrows look beautiful!! So incredible. After I was finished we just sat and talked for a long time. I whined about who would do my eyebrows once a left, so she gave me a tutorial on how to thread. It's actually super easy, but I don't know if I would trust myself.... We went through family photos and some of Lakshmi when she was a young girl. She asked me how long id been living in India, which I took as a compliment, and just as my little Aysho said, she complimented me on looking very Indian- with the exception of my blonde hair. Such an enjoyable afternoon of luxury hanging with the lovely Lakshmi. Anyone passing through Varkala should most definitely stop in a get beautified by this sweet soulful mama.
And so, I'm here in India, hairy as a monster, and I came across Lakshmi. Jai Lakshmi! Maha Shree Lakshmi Namaha! As soon as I walked into her tiny "beauty shop", with the fake flowers out front and incense burning, I KNEW that I was in good hands. Lakshmi just has that "warm, mama energy". It was insta-love....
I laid on the table and she said "pain first"...and so it was, bikini wax. It actually wasn't nearly as painful as other experiences I've had, and was nearly identical to the experiences I've had in western studios back home (yet, for a fraction of the price...bikini wax with Lakshmi is 350rs which is $5.75). She did a PROPER bikini wax, and then proceeded to make her way through my incredibly-long, almost-a-dirty-hippy-underarms. Finally, threading. I never get my eyebrows done, and I've never tried threading- but I was keen to give it a go, and I simply LOVE all of the Indian women's eyebrows. It hurt a bit, but goddamn, don't mind if I brag-- but my eyebrows look beautiful!! So incredible. After I was finished we just sat and talked for a long time. I whined about who would do my eyebrows once a left, so she gave me a tutorial on how to thread. It's actually super easy, but I don't know if I would trust myself.... We went through family photos and some of Lakshmi when she was a young girl. She asked me how long id been living in India, which I took as a compliment, and just as my little Aysho said, she complimented me on looking very Indian- with the exception of my blonde hair. Such an enjoyable afternoon of luxury hanging with the lovely Lakshmi. Anyone passing through Varkala should most definitely stop in a get beautified by this sweet soulful mama.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Alone....All One.
I am absolutely obsessed with Clarissa Pinkola Estes' book "Women Who Run With the Wolves"!!!!! It's amazing, empowering and totally inspiring. Every woman (AND man) should read this book. Not now, right now. I love all of the stories that it contains, but the one that I identify most with is in Chapter 9 Homing: Returning to OneSelf and it's called "SEALSKIN, SOULSKIN". It's too long to share the actual story, plus I hope that's an incentive to go and buy the book, but I will share the commentary and insight that Estes goes into after the story....
Where is HOME?
Home is an internal place, a place somewhere in time rather than space, where a woman feels of one piece. Home is where a thought or feeling can be sustained instead of being interrupted or torn away from us because something else is demanding our time and attention.
"The psyches and souls of women also have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questing and resting, creating an incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place.
Every creature on earth returns to home. It is ironic that we have made wildlife refuges for ibis, pelican, egret, wolf, crane, deer, mouse, moose, and bear, but not for ourselves in the places where we live day after day. We understand that loss of habitat is the most disastrous event that can occur to a free creature. We know that for creatures to live on, they must at least from time to time have a home place, a place where they feel both protected and free.
We traditionally compensate for loss of a more serene habitat by taking a vacation or a holiday. But for the soul-self-psyche, vacation is not the same as refuge. "Time out" or "time off" is not the same as returning to home. Calmness is not the same as solitude.
Most of woman's depression, ennuis, and wandering confusions are caused by a severely restricted soul-life in which innovation, impulse and creation are restricted or forbidden.
...so maybe we stumble around in the dark for a while trying to find what calls us, but because we have managed to not talk ourselves out of being summoned by the wild one, we invariably stumble over the soulskin. When we breathe up that soul-state, we automatically enter the feeling state of, "This is right. I know what I need." For many modern women, it is not the driving about in the dark looking for the soulskin that is most fearsome. Rather it is the diving into the water, the actual return home, and especially the leave-taking, that are far more formidable. Though women come back into themselves and are all ready to go, it is hard to go; really, really hard to cede, to hand over whatever we've been so busy with, and just leave.
An incompletely initiated woman in this depleted state erroneously thinks she is deriving more spiritual credit by staying than she thinks she will gain by going. Among wolves there are no such divided feelings about going and staying, for they work, whelp, rest, and rove in cycles. They are part of a group that shares in working and caregiving while others take time away. It is a good way to live. It is a way to live that has all the integrity of the wild feminine.
It is right and proper than women eke out, liberate, take, make, connive to get, assert their right to go home. Home is a sustained mood or sense that allows us to experience feelings not necessarily sustained in the mundane world: wonder, vision, peace, freedom from worry, freedom from demands, freedom from constant clacking. Although there are many physical places one can go to "feel" her way back to this special home, the physical place itself is not home; it is only the vehicle that rocks the ego to sleep so that we can go the rest of the way by ourselves. The vehicles through which women can reach home are many: music, art, forest, ocean, sunrise, solitude. These take us home to a nutritive inner world that has ideas, order and sustenance all of its own. Whatever revivifies balance is what is essential. That is home.
Deep home is evoked by silence. Utter Silence with a capital U and capital S. Regardless of your home time, an hour or days, remember, other people can pet your cats even though your cats say only you can do it right. Your dog will try to make you think you are abandoning a child on the highway, but will forgive you. The grass will grow a little brown but will revive. You and your child will miss each other, but be glad when you return. Your mate may grump. They'll get over it. Your boss may threaten. They will get over it too. Staying overlong is madness. Going home is sanity. If you can, it is better to teach your people that you will be more and also different when you return, that you are not abandoning them but learning yourself anew and bringing yourself back to your real life. Most of us cannot always go for as long as we want, so we go for as long as we can. Now and then we go for as long as we must. Other times, we go until we miss what we left. Sometimes we dip in, dip out, dip in again in bursts."
Taking some time for intentional solitude....
"Long ago the word "alone" was treated as two words, all one. To be 'all one' meant to be wholly one, to be in oneness, either essentially or temporarily. That is precisely the goal of solitude, to be all one. Solitude is not an absence of energy or action, as some believe, but rather is a boon of wild provisions transmitted to us from the soul. In ancient times purposeful solitude was both palliative and preventative. It was used to heal fatigue and prevent weariness. It was used as an oracle, a way of listening to the inner self to solicit advice and guidance otherwise impossible to hear in the din of daily life. If we establish a regular practice of intentional solitude, we invite conversation between ourselves and the wild soul that comes near to our shore. The purpose of this union is for us to ask questions, and for the soul to advise."
Last night when I was writing this, I picked an oracle card from my Goddess Guidance deck. The Goddess was Sige, advising "Quiet Time", which is exactly what this week is all about!
I am so grateful for my life that allows time to return home, so that I can nurture my soul and spirit!
Where is HOME?
Home is an internal place, a place somewhere in time rather than space, where a woman feels of one piece. Home is where a thought or feeling can be sustained instead of being interrupted or torn away from us because something else is demanding our time and attention.
"The psyches and souls of women also have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questing and resting, creating an incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place.
Every creature on earth returns to home. It is ironic that we have made wildlife refuges for ibis, pelican, egret, wolf, crane, deer, mouse, moose, and bear, but not for ourselves in the places where we live day after day. We understand that loss of habitat is the most disastrous event that can occur to a free creature. We know that for creatures to live on, they must at least from time to time have a home place, a place where they feel both protected and free.
We traditionally compensate for loss of a more serene habitat by taking a vacation or a holiday. But for the soul-self-psyche, vacation is not the same as refuge. "Time out" or "time off" is not the same as returning to home. Calmness is not the same as solitude.
Most of woman's depression, ennuis, and wandering confusions are caused by a severely restricted soul-life in which innovation, impulse and creation are restricted or forbidden.
...so maybe we stumble around in the dark for a while trying to find what calls us, but because we have managed to not talk ourselves out of being summoned by the wild one, we invariably stumble over the soulskin. When we breathe up that soul-state, we automatically enter the feeling state of, "This is right. I know what I need." For many modern women, it is not the driving about in the dark looking for the soulskin that is most fearsome. Rather it is the diving into the water, the actual return home, and especially the leave-taking, that are far more formidable. Though women come back into themselves and are all ready to go, it is hard to go; really, really hard to cede, to hand over whatever we've been so busy with, and just leave.
An incompletely initiated woman in this depleted state erroneously thinks she is deriving more spiritual credit by staying than she thinks she will gain by going. Among wolves there are no such divided feelings about going and staying, for they work, whelp, rest, and rove in cycles. They are part of a group that shares in working and caregiving while others take time away. It is a good way to live. It is a way to live that has all the integrity of the wild feminine.
It is right and proper than women eke out, liberate, take, make, connive to get, assert their right to go home. Home is a sustained mood or sense that allows us to experience feelings not necessarily sustained in the mundane world: wonder, vision, peace, freedom from worry, freedom from demands, freedom from constant clacking. Although there are many physical places one can go to "feel" her way back to this special home, the physical place itself is not home; it is only the vehicle that rocks the ego to sleep so that we can go the rest of the way by ourselves. The vehicles through which women can reach home are many: music, art, forest, ocean, sunrise, solitude. These take us home to a nutritive inner world that has ideas, order and sustenance all of its own. Whatever revivifies balance is what is essential. That is home.
Deep home is evoked by silence. Utter Silence with a capital U and capital S. Regardless of your home time, an hour or days, remember, other people can pet your cats even though your cats say only you can do it right. Your dog will try to make you think you are abandoning a child on the highway, but will forgive you. The grass will grow a little brown but will revive. You and your child will miss each other, but be glad when you return. Your mate may grump. They'll get over it. Your boss may threaten. They will get over it too. Staying overlong is madness. Going home is sanity. If you can, it is better to teach your people that you will be more and also different when you return, that you are not abandoning them but learning yourself anew and bringing yourself back to your real life. Most of us cannot always go for as long as we want, so we go for as long as we can. Now and then we go for as long as we must. Other times, we go until we miss what we left. Sometimes we dip in, dip out, dip in again in bursts."
Taking some time for intentional solitude....
"Long ago the word "alone" was treated as two words, all one. To be 'all one' meant to be wholly one, to be in oneness, either essentially or temporarily. That is precisely the goal of solitude, to be all one. Solitude is not an absence of energy or action, as some believe, but rather is a boon of wild provisions transmitted to us from the soul. In ancient times purposeful solitude was both palliative and preventative. It was used to heal fatigue and prevent weariness. It was used as an oracle, a way of listening to the inner self to solicit advice and guidance otherwise impossible to hear in the din of daily life. If we establish a regular practice of intentional solitude, we invite conversation between ourselves and the wild soul that comes near to our shore. The purpose of this union is for us to ask questions, and for the soul to advise."
Last night when I was writing this, I picked an oracle card from my Goddess Guidance deck. The Goddess was Sige, advising "Quiet Time", which is exactly what this week is all about!
I am so grateful for my life that allows time to return home, so that I can nurture my soul and spirit!
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Incredibly, Incredibly Naked.
I'm going to skip ahead with my story, and then work my way back to the beginning, but I have to share.....
Have any of you had an Ayurveda massage? Let me paint a picture for you:
Imagine a huge, [in-ground] pool of warm oil....
And your swimming in it.
Only you're not swimming,
Because you're on a table,
Being aggressively stroked by little Indian hands,
So you're sliding.
Yes, you're sliding in an in-ground pool of oil.
And it's glorious.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that you are completely naked....
...as in as-naked-as-the-day-you-were-born!?
I didn't want to fess up about it last year, but now I don't mind sharing....when I was in Goa (Jan 2013) I received a tantric massage from a tantrica. It was totally fucking weird, duh, but I was laughing to myself as I was getting my rub down today, because it wasn't too different from the erotic massage I'd received one year ago! This afternoon, after my consultation, I walked into the room and got completely undressed, which just seems so odd because this culture is so incredibly conservative (I was scolded on the train today but an older Indian woman because my tshirt slipped down and started to reveal my shoulder....meanwhile I was in long pants, sneakers, a tshirt, and a scarf in 95 degree weather!). Aysho had me sit down on a chair and then she drizzled oil into my hair, proceeding to give me the BEST head massage ever (as I sat there, in the middle of the room, on a chair, butt naked). Then I was put onto a table where I held on for dear life so I didn't go sliding off the table and across the room, for the next 90 minutes as I was doused with oil and rubbed down. I really enjoyed the bit where she used an herbal compress and HOT oil to pound my body and scrub, pound and scrub, pound and scrub. Perhaps the most interesting part of the massage though was the shower afterwards. I stood, naked, as little Aysho scrubbed me clean. She used a paste made of chickpea powder and water, which was brilliant in removing the oil...leaving me with super soft skin. She scrubbed every inch of me, and then washed my hair...which was glorious. Once I was clean, dry, and no longer naked, we hung out and had a little girl talk. Aysho is 19, has a boyfriend, doesn't want to get married anytime soon, and she's convinced that if I had black hair that I could be an Indian. "The shape of your face, your beautiful teeth, your long hair....everything about you, very Indian. Very beautiful." She even mixed up pigment to give me a proper bindi on my forehead, proclaiming "There, now Indian woman".
And so....I can't say that I would necessarily recommend an Ayurvedic massage, nor would it ever replace my love for deeper (both physically and energetically) massages like Thai and Shiatsu, but it serves a purpose. I don't have the time to do a full "panchakarma" cleanse, which needs a minimum of three weeks, preferably five. But I am doing a mini week-long Ayurvedic treatment which involves daily massages, a few enemas (done with warm oil and hot compresses on the belly!), some supplements and medicines, and a few other oil-based treatments.
And now, I'll start at the beginning. I got lucky. After a few days of music making in Marari with John de Kadt, I hopped a train just after dawn to the hip beach town of Varkala. My tuktuk driver and I covered every inch of this damn county....the north hill, the south hill, black beach, back to the north hill, and eventually to Odayam Beach. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I knew that I would know once I arrived. And so it was. I walked into Sea Splendour and instantly had a good feeling in my belly. I checked out the rooms and then cruised upstairs to have a peek at their small restaurant. Sitting at a table was an older [German] woman whom I later came to know as Ula. I asked her what she thought of the place and she lit up, grinning from ear to ear, shaking her head ecstatically, proclaiming that this was the best place in all of Kerala! Say no more. I paid my tukky, carried my bags to my room, and I was home. Ula has been staying here for the past three weeks, and has spent up to 3 months here in the past. She has been traveling to India for the past 28 years, and owns a store in Germany that sells Indian treasures. Though most of the coastline has been bastardized with bad music, all-night raves, cheap shop after cheap shop, and quasi-hippie bullshit....Odayam is still a slice of heaven. The North Hill was infested with hippies and hipsters, overpriced juice bars, yoga shalas and discos. I wasn't really sure what I was going to be doing in Varkala, but I knew that I didn't want to be involved in that scene, and was looking for something shanti shanti close to the beach. As I sat talking with Ula, she told me all about the Ayurvedic treatments that she'd been getting done from an Ayurvedic doctor up the street, and she highly recommended it. There are many charlatans in this country, preaching that they practice "Ayurveda", but most are false prophets...it's hard to find the real deal, and I find that you only come across these gems by word of mouth. Within the hour I was having my consultation (I'm Pitta-Vata, which I already knew) and was lining up a weeks worth of treatments. All ten treatments add up to be 10,000rs is $160usd. That's a lot of money, but think about it, each treatment is an hour and a half....and $160 is just a bit more than what you'd spend on ONE massage back home. In the end, quite a deal. And the luxury continues....I'm spending 800rs ($13usd) night on one of the nicest rooms at sea Splendour, which is a lot for India, because I'm worth it! Yahoo! After my treatment I felt inspired to explore the coast with a run...and so I ran a mile or two and then dove into the sea to cool down as the sun was setting.
I'm really looking forward to this week of shanti shanti rest, relaxation, yoga, and healing. Life is good. I know that the universe is lovingly guiding me always, and that I am exactly where I should be.
Sent from my iPad
Have any of you had an Ayurveda massage? Let me paint a picture for you:
Imagine a huge, [in-ground] pool of warm oil....
And your swimming in it.
Only you're not swimming,
Because you're on a table,
Being aggressively stroked by little Indian hands,
So you're sliding.
Yes, you're sliding in an in-ground pool of oil.
And it's glorious.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that you are completely naked....
...as in as-naked-as-the-day-you-were-born!?
I didn't want to fess up about it last year, but now I don't mind sharing....when I was in Goa (Jan 2013) I received a tantric massage from a tantrica. It was totally fucking weird, duh, but I was laughing to myself as I was getting my rub down today, because it wasn't too different from the erotic massage I'd received one year ago! This afternoon, after my consultation, I walked into the room and got completely undressed, which just seems so odd because this culture is so incredibly conservative (I was scolded on the train today but an older Indian woman because my tshirt slipped down and started to reveal my shoulder....meanwhile I was in long pants, sneakers, a tshirt, and a scarf in 95 degree weather!). Aysho had me sit down on a chair and then she drizzled oil into my hair, proceeding to give me the BEST head massage ever (as I sat there, in the middle of the room, on a chair, butt naked). Then I was put onto a table where I held on for dear life so I didn't go sliding off the table and across the room, for the next 90 minutes as I was doused with oil and rubbed down. I really enjoyed the bit where she used an herbal compress and HOT oil to pound my body and scrub, pound and scrub, pound and scrub. Perhaps the most interesting part of the massage though was the shower afterwards. I stood, naked, as little Aysho scrubbed me clean. She used a paste made of chickpea powder and water, which was brilliant in removing the oil...leaving me with super soft skin. She scrubbed every inch of me, and then washed my hair...which was glorious. Once I was clean, dry, and no longer naked, we hung out and had a little girl talk. Aysho is 19, has a boyfriend, doesn't want to get married anytime soon, and she's convinced that if I had black hair that I could be an Indian. "The shape of your face, your beautiful teeth, your long hair....everything about you, very Indian. Very beautiful." She even mixed up pigment to give me a proper bindi on my forehead, proclaiming "There, now Indian woman".
And so....I can't say that I would necessarily recommend an Ayurvedic massage, nor would it ever replace my love for deeper (both physically and energetically) massages like Thai and Shiatsu, but it serves a purpose. I don't have the time to do a full "panchakarma" cleanse, which needs a minimum of three weeks, preferably five. But I am doing a mini week-long Ayurvedic treatment which involves daily massages, a few enemas (done with warm oil and hot compresses on the belly!), some supplements and medicines, and a few other oil-based treatments.
And now, I'll start at the beginning. I got lucky. After a few days of music making in Marari with John de Kadt, I hopped a train just after dawn to the hip beach town of Varkala. My tuktuk driver and I covered every inch of this damn county....the north hill, the south hill, black beach, back to the north hill, and eventually to Odayam Beach. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I knew that I would know once I arrived. And so it was. I walked into Sea Splendour and instantly had a good feeling in my belly. I checked out the rooms and then cruised upstairs to have a peek at their small restaurant. Sitting at a table was an older [German] woman whom I later came to know as Ula. I asked her what she thought of the place and she lit up, grinning from ear to ear, shaking her head ecstatically, proclaiming that this was the best place in all of Kerala! Say no more. I paid my tukky, carried my bags to my room, and I was home. Ula has been staying here for the past three weeks, and has spent up to 3 months here in the past. She has been traveling to India for the past 28 years, and owns a store in Germany that sells Indian treasures. Though most of the coastline has been bastardized with bad music, all-night raves, cheap shop after cheap shop, and quasi-hippie bullshit....Odayam is still a slice of heaven. The North Hill was infested with hippies and hipsters, overpriced juice bars, yoga shalas and discos. I wasn't really sure what I was going to be doing in Varkala, but I knew that I didn't want to be involved in that scene, and was looking for something shanti shanti close to the beach. As I sat talking with Ula, she told me all about the Ayurvedic treatments that she'd been getting done from an Ayurvedic doctor up the street, and she highly recommended it. There are many charlatans in this country, preaching that they practice "Ayurveda", but most are false prophets...it's hard to find the real deal, and I find that you only come across these gems by word of mouth. Within the hour I was having my consultation (I'm Pitta-Vata, which I already knew) and was lining up a weeks worth of treatments. All ten treatments add up to be 10,000rs is $160usd. That's a lot of money, but think about it, each treatment is an hour and a half....and $160 is just a bit more than what you'd spend on ONE massage back home. In the end, quite a deal. And the luxury continues....I'm spending 800rs ($13usd) night on one of the nicest rooms at sea Splendour, which is a lot for India, because I'm worth it! Yahoo! After my treatment I felt inspired to explore the coast with a run...and so I ran a mile or two and then dove into the sea to cool down as the sun was setting.
I'm really looking forward to this week of shanti shanti rest, relaxation, yoga, and healing. Life is good. I know that the universe is lovingly guiding me always, and that I am exactly where I should be.
Sent from my iPad
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Friday, March 7, 2014
Making Music in Marari
After an extremely long travel day of going over the river and through the woods, I made it to Marari- a super shanti, relatively tourist-free, blink-and-you'll-miss-it town in northern Kerala. My "bus", which was really a bunch of pieces of metal held together with tape, glue and chewing gum, nearly crashed more than a dozen times. It was a loud, hot, sweaty, smelly, and incredibly dangerous ride, but I arrived with all ten fingers and toes, and only a few bruises....smiling from ear to ear. I love India! I feel so comfortable here, which is wonderful, because most people wouldn't use the word "comfortable" to describe their experience in this full-power, face-paced country of extremes. Though my training is in southern Kerala and doesn't start until March 15th, I flew in a bit early so that I could catch John De Kadt. We decided to meet up (and officially MEET...all of our communication up until this point had only been on Facebook, viber, and a single phone call) and collaborate on a bit of music, and to enjoy some fun in the sea as well. John is a brilliant musician, and more importantly, he was one of the rare few that plays the "hang drum" which has to be one of the most magical instruments that I've come across. It sounds like it's from a fairy tale. And so, here we are, two people from the east coast of the USA, meeting for the first time in a small town in India, to inspire one another and create some amazing music!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
EASTER
Easter Yoga Retreat!!!!
Come play with me on the Sea of Cortez!!
April 20-25th!
Email me cailin@goldenbuddhayoga.com for details or to book!
Come play with me on the Sea of Cortez!!
April 20-25th!
Email me cailin@goldenbuddhayoga.com for details or to book!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Tiny Teachers
Such a beautiful last day in paradise!!!!!!
I didn't feel like running today, not one bit. And I remembered what Fredrik said about only doing it if I was enjoying it. But something inside me told me to run anyways. So I decided that I would just do two laps. One lap is running from Rams to Lazy Left and back (one way is 220meters, up and back is 440). As I approached two, I thought "why not go for 2 1/2" and at 2 1/2 I thought "well shit, I'm almost at three...", and so it continued until I did four laps!!! Yay me!!! I never thought that I could run, or would enjoy running, and I sure as shit didn't think a few days ago that I would be able to run four laps. Hooray!!! I rewarded myself with some fresh fruit and a cup of tea with my darling Caroline and then enjoyed some solo swim and sun time...
I am equal parts excited and sad about meeting the amazing Rosanna and Petter, and their adorable kids Teddy and Poppy. Excited, because they are totally amazing and we will be friends for years to come- and sad because I've only just met them and now have to say goodbye. We had rice and curry together for lunch today (along with my friend Samira) and then enjoyed the afternoon swimming and playing in the sand. Rosanna and her husband Petter met while living in the Middle East 18 years ago, and for the past five years have been living on their boat as they sail the world. They just gave up life at sea to settle down, and are hoping to make Sri Lanka their home. What a fascinating, interesting, family that is incredibly full of love and life. Their seven year old son Teddy taught me how to bodysurf today (lame, I know...I don't know how I've gone this long without learning). Anywho, he was swimming with a piece of styrofoam and when I asked why he explained that it's a hand plane so he can catch waves better. I asked if I could use it and he explained that a coconut husk would be better for a beginner because of the way that it treads water (as opposed to styrofoam). He walked the beach until he found me a perfect coconut husk and then proceeded to patiently teach me to bodysurf. What an a amazing child and amaZing teacher!
I enjoyed the BEST SUNSET YET from the lineup, where I had some of the best waves I've had all week. It was great to have a final surf with my buddy Joe. I'm so sad to leave all of these beautiful friends that I've made, but I'm so happy to reunite with them somewhere over the months and years to come.
Dinner was at Rani's for some kottu roti with the crew. And now, I'm packed up and headed to India...
I didn't feel like running today, not one bit. And I remembered what Fredrik said about only doing it if I was enjoying it. But something inside me told me to run anyways. So I decided that I would just do two laps. One lap is running from Rams to Lazy Left and back (one way is 220meters, up and back is 440). As I approached two, I thought "why not go for 2 1/2" and at 2 1/2 I thought "well shit, I'm almost at three...", and so it continued until I did four laps!!! Yay me!!! I never thought that I could run, or would enjoy running, and I sure as shit didn't think a few days ago that I would be able to run four laps. Hooray!!! I rewarded myself with some fresh fruit and a cup of tea with my darling Caroline and then enjoyed some solo swim and sun time...
I am equal parts excited and sad about meeting the amazing Rosanna and Petter, and their adorable kids Teddy and Poppy. Excited, because they are totally amazing and we will be friends for years to come- and sad because I've only just met them and now have to say goodbye. We had rice and curry together for lunch today (along with my friend Samira) and then enjoyed the afternoon swimming and playing in the sand. Rosanna and her husband Petter met while living in the Middle East 18 years ago, and for the past five years have been living on their boat as they sail the world. They just gave up life at sea to settle down, and are hoping to make Sri Lanka their home. What a fascinating, interesting, family that is incredibly full of love and life. Their seven year old son Teddy taught me how to bodysurf today (lame, I know...I don't know how I've gone this long without learning). Anywho, he was swimming with a piece of styrofoam and when I asked why he explained that it's a hand plane so he can catch waves better. I asked if I could use it and he explained that a coconut husk would be better for a beginner because of the way that it treads water (as opposed to styrofoam). He walked the beach until he found me a perfect coconut husk and then proceeded to patiently teach me to bodysurf. What an a amazing child and amaZing teacher!
I enjoyed the BEST SUNSET YET from the lineup, where I had some of the best waves I've had all week. It was great to have a final surf with my buddy Joe. I'm so sad to leave all of these beautiful friends that I've made, but I'm so happy to reunite with them somewhere over the months and years to come.
Dinner was at Rani's for some kottu roti with the crew. And now, I'm packed up and headed to India...
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